Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I try hard not to judge people, because I know firsthand what it's like to be judged. I've been judged because of my looks all my life, and about 10 years ago, I was judged simply because the (now former) pastor of the church I attended at that time would give me rides back and forth to church. There was a rumor in the church that he and I were having an affair. Both of us left (at different times) because of that rumor.

By now, you know I'm uncomfortable around most guys, and why that is. Someone (I can't remember if they were from here at Oasis or not) told me that my being uncomfortable around them means that I'm punishing them for what my uncle did to me. I'd like some opinions on that.

I don't know if this is the same as judging or not, but lately, Satan has been throwing darts into my mind, causing me to think this or that about friends. I do my best to rebuke him, but it isn't always easy. I have started going to those friends and telling them what he is saying. They are always understanding, and help me to see that he is lying to me. However, I can't help feeling bad because of needing reassurance.

loveiskind wrote:
By now, you know I'm uncomfortable around most guys, and why that is. Someone (I can't remember if they were from here at Oasis or not) told me that my being uncomfortable around them means that I'm punishing them for what my uncle did to me. I'd like some opinions on that.

I don't know if this is the same as judging or not, but lately, Satan has been throwing darts into my mind, causing me to think this or that about friends. I do my best to rebuke him, but it isn't always easy. I have started going to those friends and telling them what he is saying. They are always understanding, and help me to see that he is lying to me. However, I can't help feeling bad because of needing reassurance.

Hello Loveiskind,

God bless you, dear sister.

Being cautious to the point of avoiding: Triggers -- sometimes caused by our flesh -- other times discerning. I find when this happens with me, I need to really talk to God about it. Similarly, I sometimes get an overwhelming feeling of being trapped or cornered, and when that happens I want to flee. I am so happy to know now that I can flee to The Lord and talk about it. As a result, sometimes I find it was my flesh's reaction to an old reminder, and He and I talk about it. An old root comes to the surface and The Lord wants me to identify it and be healed of it's impact on my walk. Other times I find it is discernment that He has given me about the other person -- perhaps even a feeling that this other person has. I pray for them. Either way, I give Him by burden.

When you typed: "However, I can't help feeling bad because of needing reassurance." wow, what a wonderful revelation, Loveiskind. But, let's not feel bad about it -- instead, identify it, repent and receive His power to correct your walk and move on. He loves you. He loves you enough to correct. Wow, isn't that awesome?!?! I love it. Because of my own past, I know all too well that my flesh wallows in getting pity and sympathy for all it has to endure. Sometimes I need a little nudge to snap me out of it. God is faithful to do that. But if I'm not careful, my flesh will get all pathetic over having had to be corrected. Geez, what a cycle -- let's see, who could have instigated that? Could it be, satan?????? Yep.

God is faithful to correct us. Are we faithful to receive that correction? True confession of our sins and humbling ourselves before God, and asking Him to correct us is the quickest way to recovery and get back to doing for Him by doing for others.

The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another. Did He mean to go tell everyone we know? No, I don't think so, because that would require us to be suspended in this state of pause for lengthy periods of time -- again dwelling on ourselves. But confess to Him and one or two trusted men or women of God -- ones we know will lovingly point us back to Jesus. Once our focus is fully back on Him, we are able to move forward with Him. God is so very Good.

Loveiskind, I love how earnestly you seek Him and to receive correction. Wow, you inspire me, sis.

Love, hugs and God's blessings to you,
Mack