Day 3 MCFC study
Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:29 pm
This step actually made me mad. Now, I'm gonna be honest about this step, as to why I was mad. It was the chart. I was reading and thinking, where am I going to get more time to do this. Then I was thinking, some of my tasks are routine already. Such as reading my Bible, Listening to Music, Praying, spending time with the Holy Spirit, etc. I also decided I'm going to do the chart, but I won't put activites that require a lot of time, or if I have one I want to do, that does require time, I will put one less on my chart. This way I can have double the time to complete the task. Now the step doesn't say anything about modifying the chart, but I will have to in order to succeed. So I'm not gonna play the "shame" game with myself over not being able to do the step exactly as it is written, as I'm determined to help myself be a better me, and not give up on this step over a time issue.
Now as for your spirit affecting your soul, this is true. Something has happened in mine and my daughter's life yesterday that has us very upset. In fact, I was so upset, I didn't even realize it. Today I received a phone call first thing this morning at work, and the person on the other end says, you don't seem happy. I was being kind to this person, but they sensed my unhappiness. Then I had employees saying what's the matter with you, you look like you want to cry. I didn't realize but what had happened in my life yesterday, even though I wasn't thinking about it, still had me emitting unhappiness. So, I understand how your subconcious mind can hold your thoughts even when you think you have forgotten them.
Also, I got behind on the steps last night because my internet was down, and that also upset me. My routine was broken, and I was so looking forward to completing this step. I'm also doing this step with a partner, and I felt as if I was letting my partner down, so first thing this morning when I got to work I PM'd my partner to tell them I was behind. They said that's ok things happen like that. When my partner understood I was relieved. But you know all this came from a weed planted in my mind that I was letting someone down, even when it wasn't within my control to do anything about it.
Ok, I've rattled enough. On to step 4 tomorrow.
Now as for your spirit affecting your soul, this is true. Something has happened in mine and my daughter's life yesterday that has us very upset. In fact, I was so upset, I didn't even realize it. Today I received a phone call first thing this morning at work, and the person on the other end says, you don't seem happy. I was being kind to this person, but they sensed my unhappiness. Then I had employees saying what's the matter with you, you look like you want to cry. I didn't realize but what had happened in my life yesterday, even though I wasn't thinking about it, still had me emitting unhappiness. So, I understand how your subconcious mind can hold your thoughts even when you think you have forgotten them.
Also, I got behind on the steps last night because my internet was down, and that also upset me. My routine was broken, and I was so looking forward to completing this step. I'm also doing this step with a partner, and I felt as if I was letting my partner down, so first thing this morning when I got to work I PM'd my partner to tell them I was behind. They said that's ok things happen like that. When my partner understood I was relieved. But you know all this came from a weed planted in my mind that I was letting someone down, even when it wasn't within my control to do anything about it.
Ok, I've rattled enough. On to step 4 tomorrow.