Day 1: Step 1
Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:19 amThe excitement in me grows with each day; for I know that each day I become stronger and stronger in the Lord.
A year and a half ago, the Lord reached His hand in my life, forgave me, and accepted me as I am. I became Born Again. What have I done since? I have made great strides In increasing my faith. I resumed going to church (something I hadn't done in over 13 years at that point,) I entered Bible Study, I went to Passion conferences, I immersed myself as much as I could in the Christian faith.
Throughout that time, it still felt as if something was missing. I knew I had the grace of God with me now, I truly felt His presence with me at all times. Yet, I stumbled. I caved into old patterns, old habits, and old addictions for a time, even after being saved. I did these things knowing full well they were wrong. Knowing full well I was in direct disobedience to God. Each time I'd fall and I would ask again for His Mercy and His understanding and His forgiveness. And, as only God can, He came back each time.
Truthfully it hasn't been fully and completely until now, this very moment, that I realize what it was that felt as if it was missing still, despite my growth. Entering this program and seeing the first step, being spoken to by the Lord in such a complete manner, has allowed me to see and recognize the truth for what it is.
The truth for what it is, is simply the truth, in WHO I AM. Something felt as if it was missing because I wasn't fully recognizing the truth in what I had allowed myself to become. I have been praying and asking God for months to give me a sign, show me something that let's me know I'm on the right path. When all the while, He has been waiting for me to completely and totally let go of everything I once was. I can see now, by confronting and recognizing the truth; only when I come to Him fully and completely with everything I am, will I be able to receive all He has planned for me.
Truth is a very hard pill for most people to swallow. I am here, entering this program because God has given me the strength to finally recognize that truth and move forward. I am a sinner who does not deserve forgiveness. God, through His mercy and His mercy ALONE grants us that forgiveness we do not deserve.
I open my heart to you Lord, this day, and every day henceforth. I am yours.
A year and a half ago, the Lord reached His hand in my life, forgave me, and accepted me as I am. I became Born Again. What have I done since? I have made great strides In increasing my faith. I resumed going to church (something I hadn't done in over 13 years at that point,) I entered Bible Study, I went to Passion conferences, I immersed myself as much as I could in the Christian faith.
Throughout that time, it still felt as if something was missing. I knew I had the grace of God with me now, I truly felt His presence with me at all times. Yet, I stumbled. I caved into old patterns, old habits, and old addictions for a time, even after being saved. I did these things knowing full well they were wrong. Knowing full well I was in direct disobedience to God. Each time I'd fall and I would ask again for His Mercy and His understanding and His forgiveness. And, as only God can, He came back each time.
Truthfully it hasn't been fully and completely until now, this very moment, that I realize what it was that felt as if it was missing still, despite my growth. Entering this program and seeing the first step, being spoken to by the Lord in such a complete manner, has allowed me to see and recognize the truth for what it is.
The truth for what it is, is simply the truth, in WHO I AM. Something felt as if it was missing because I wasn't fully recognizing the truth in what I had allowed myself to become. I have been praying and asking God for months to give me a sign, show me something that let's me know I'm on the right path. When all the while, He has been waiting for me to completely and totally let go of everything I once was. I can see now, by confronting and recognizing the truth; only when I come to Him fully and completely with everything I am, will I be able to receive all He has planned for me.
Truth is a very hard pill for most people to swallow. I am here, entering this program because God has given me the strength to finally recognize that truth and move forward. I am a sinner who does not deserve forgiveness. God, through His mercy and His mercy ALONE grants us that forgiveness we do not deserve.
I open my heart to you Lord, this day, and every day henceforth. I am yours.