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on the subject of death
by vahn » Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:04 pm
Before I write another word , please allow me to make myself perfectly clear that , what I'm about to say has no bearing on whether someone had said , done or acted in any manner that prompted me to come here with this topic in any way . Neither is it directed to any individual specifically , nor am I doing this to vent out my "boo hoo 's " . My only intent is the hope that by my so doing would somehow shed some light from another direction and in turn to be of help to all that may be "misunderstood "
That said and done . First and foremost , I myself feel absolutely helpless and powerless when the subject of death in any form comes up (and it is also my opinion , that this applies to everyone , some without the realization of it ) , nope it's not that I'm afraid , scared or anything , just uncomfortable , whether it be the death of a pet , someone famous , a complete stranger , animals or what have you , to add to that the news of someone's loved one , my antennaes pop up and my head starts screaming "INTRUDER !! INTRUDER !! " , my mind simply cant interpret death in its proper perspective or in its true meaning , and I say that as a direct result of my finding out about it recently after the loss of my only child .
First of all , let me get this out of the way before I go on , God does not recognize or deal with death , "A fountain cant bring forth both bitter and sweet water at the same time " . God is life , and there's no death in LIFE (Eternal ? hmm )
Has anyone watched the skit Whiley Coyote building the catapult to outrun the Road Runner only to find himself smacked right into a rock ??
I remember getting a giggle or two out of that . Upon talking to another person today that otherwise I dont seem to be able to see eye to eye with other than the fact that she herself had lost her child as well who , at the same time happened to be my therapist , in any other respect I find myself being offended to excess by this person , but when it comes to our children I'm in her back pocket hanging on to every word she has to say . Why ? She was the first and ONLY person to tell me she DOESN'T know how I feel , she only knew how SHE felt and that everyone takes it differently , and it is Not a matter of losing a pet and getting another one to replace it , even though you would still love the new pet just as much but nevertheless it still doesn't fill the whole created by the loss , and as if that wasnt enough , she said even when we allow God to fill it , there would still be a ring shaped gap around Him , Why ? That my beloved, is called HUMANS , we are not gods !! We ask God to help us forgive for a reason , because we can't and most of us wont !! Aside from spiritually forgiving ourselves and others , humanly its virtually impossible .
Myself , the last thing I want to do is to cause undue hurt to another by disappointment of not wanting to talk about it which in turn will get interpreted as "don't you trust me enough to open up ? " . and , worse yet being at loss at what manner to express myself without causing the hurt , I choose to walk away or clam up , change the subject or what have you .
My dear friends , people in that situation simply dont have the vocabulary sufficient enough to explain it , God did not give us that ability simply because He doesn't believe in death . So , please , if you would , dont take any of the actions expressed by the people who had lost their loved one personally and in turn add insult to injury by showing them your disapproval of their continuous grievings , it stays with them for the rest of their life !! Oh , and yes !! it is all about them !! So get with it and let them be , unless of course you would like to play God and take it away from them , (a little help from me , "if God wont do it ...." )
When I first came to believe , I was catapulted into the fourth dimension , and everyone was saying things like , " God has a plan for you , He's preparing for something " Yeah , try to go to God after you get catapulted smack right into a rock ! What condition would you be in ? How can anyone face Him with an angry heart , yes people and friends and families will help you mend your mind , but the heart , well ....
That said and done . First and foremost , I myself feel absolutely helpless and powerless when the subject of death in any form comes up (and it is also my opinion , that this applies to everyone , some without the realization of it ) , nope it's not that I'm afraid , scared or anything , just uncomfortable , whether it be the death of a pet , someone famous , a complete stranger , animals or what have you , to add to that the news of someone's loved one , my antennaes pop up and my head starts screaming "INTRUDER !! INTRUDER !! " , my mind simply cant interpret death in its proper perspective or in its true meaning , and I say that as a direct result of my finding out about it recently after the loss of my only child .
First of all , let me get this out of the way before I go on , God does not recognize or deal with death , "A fountain cant bring forth both bitter and sweet water at the same time " . God is life , and there's no death in LIFE (Eternal ? hmm )
Has anyone watched the skit Whiley Coyote building the catapult to outrun the Road Runner only to find himself smacked right into a rock ??
I remember getting a giggle or two out of that . Upon talking to another person today that otherwise I dont seem to be able to see eye to eye with other than the fact that she herself had lost her child as well who , at the same time happened to be my therapist , in any other respect I find myself being offended to excess by this person , but when it comes to our children I'm in her back pocket hanging on to every word she has to say . Why ? She was the first and ONLY person to tell me she DOESN'T know how I feel , she only knew how SHE felt and that everyone takes it differently , and it is Not a matter of losing a pet and getting another one to replace it , even though you would still love the new pet just as much but nevertheless it still doesn't fill the whole created by the loss , and as if that wasnt enough , she said even when we allow God to fill it , there would still be a ring shaped gap around Him , Why ? That my beloved, is called HUMANS , we are not gods !! We ask God to help us forgive for a reason , because we can't and most of us wont !! Aside from spiritually forgiving ourselves and others , humanly its virtually impossible .
Myself , the last thing I want to do is to cause undue hurt to another by disappointment of not wanting to talk about it which in turn will get interpreted as "don't you trust me enough to open up ? " . and , worse yet being at loss at what manner to express myself without causing the hurt , I choose to walk away or clam up , change the subject or what have you .
My dear friends , people in that situation simply dont have the vocabulary sufficient enough to explain it , God did not give us that ability simply because He doesn't believe in death . So , please , if you would , dont take any of the actions expressed by the people who had lost their loved one personally and in turn add insult to injury by showing them your disapproval of their continuous grievings , it stays with them for the rest of their life !! Oh , and yes !! it is all about them !! So get with it and let them be , unless of course you would like to play God and take it away from them , (a little help from me , "if God wont do it ...." )
When I first came to believe , I was catapulted into the fourth dimension , and everyone was saying things like , " God has a plan for you , He's preparing for something " Yeah , try to go to God after you get catapulted smack right into a rock ! What condition would you be in ? How can anyone face Him with an angry heart , yes people and friends and families will help you mend your mind , but the heart , well ....
-
vahn 
- Posts: 809
- Location: Earth (STILL !!)
by lizzie » Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:43 pm
That said and done . First and foremost , I myself feel absolutely helpless and powerless when the subject of death in any form comes up (and it is also my opinion , that this applies to everyone , some without the realization of it ) , nope it's not that I'm afraid , scared or anything , just uncomfortable , whether it be the death of a pet , someone famous , a complete stranger , animals or what have you , to add to that the news of someone's loved one , my antennaes pop up and my head starts screaming "INTRUDER !! INTRUDER !! " , my mind simply cant interpret death in its proper perspective or in its true meaning , and I say that as a direct result of my finding out about it recently after the loss of my only child .
brother vahn
You know what... as much as i KNOW where i am going when i die.. as much as i KNOW im going to be with Jesus and that it isnt truly death as it is change... if i allow myself to sit and think about death and the process of dying, i can seriously freak myself out and into a panic.
I do believe there are areas where man longs to discover the hidden things, and goes to great lengths to do so, but yet cannot. Death is one of those things.
We know the before, we know the after, as Christians... But the during part, might be the unknown area where we seek some sort of clarity...
I think its important to fall back on scriptures such as this
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I do believe there are lots of areas that God does not want us to yet understand, perhaps because we cannot fully understand while in a human body... And also because faith requires believing without proof, without seeing. So those things which we cannot find explanations for, which boggle our minds... if left in the hands of God will help increase our faith.
I am so sorry for your loss brother. May God bring comfort to your heart.
GBU brother vahn
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lizzie
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