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If someone had told me I'd be doing this 10 years ago , I'd probaly responded with "when was the last time you talked to your doctor ? ". But, since Monday ( which I think when this whole thing I went through today started) I've been hit with all sorts of situations that I had never , either given it much thought , or never bothered to go through with .

Monday , found me in an "office" behind a desk with a name plate that bore my name and saying "counselor" on it , which I used for hoop practice using the paper bucket for a basket . When asked why I did that , I said " I only agreed to an open door policy for anyone needing someone to talk to concerning substance abuse , I dont "councel" anyone , I just share my experience , strength and hope with others to keep myself sober and not necessarily them .
It turns out that this guy I call "Tick" (has a way to get under my skin) had been at the VA hospital some 25 years ago where I was in rehab pulling desk duty and in the course of that I got to talk to a lot of people and somehow this guy thought I was one of the counselors there . So , after the fall out I had with the staff here this guy was batting for me and I guess he had mentioned all that to them as well . I'm going OK, It's God's will , I'm not supposed to say no , and so on . so far I missed two dinners and 3 breakfasts since , "talking" to the guys (actually, they do all the talking , I keep looking at my watch) .

Now, through all that hoopla (without killing anyone) I forgot , or didnt get a chance to check on my own schedual ( I thought I was the one needing counseling) till about after dinner tonight , went to the rec room gettin a soda, They're playing "Change my heart oh God " on the sound system ,"Tick" walks up and "What chapter are we studying today vahn ? " I said "you know the part where it says 'realizing what he'd done he hung himself ' ? " .

Ok , rush to my room , sift through the bible , my mind going yabada yabada , I hear the intercom saying "Bible study in 2 mins for vahn's class" . Now I'm ready to kill something !

I just went , (after prayer) "Ok , guys let's open our Bibles to ..... umm (I just opened the Bible [something learnt at oasis] ) and the page was Jeremiah 18 , and reading 1 - 6 (you are as clay , I am the potter ), I went " ehem , sounds good huh ? Let's see what else is in there ? " so I flip the Bible again and it falls on Isiah 45 and verse 9 says almost the same thing !! I'm going " Ok , guys, what it says here is that He just doesnt like the shape we're in now so He just has to redo us OK ? "

On the way back to my room another staff asked me how it went , I said " I didnt know Jeremiah and Isiah steal from each other "

My first Bible study , you think I still have a job ?

Actually no I don't think you ever had the job to begin with. I think Jesus within you has the job, and you are but the vessel that He is using to accomplish His work. So I will say, I think you will be used again and again, not because of what you say or who you are, but because God sees you as willing.

Keep following the Lord's voice as He ask you to allow Him to use you. He has more plans for you still. Just continue to be willing.

luv ya

I'm laughing here because it is amazing how God will use us.

vahn, once you start blessing the people you are counceling (uh... talking/listening to) by really being there for them, you will find YOURSELF being ministered to and blessed.
The more you do it, the easier it is.

hee hee, He's remolding YOU into a new vessel and told you through YOUR teaching...