Christianity Oasis Forum

[Bones]

Well this one is a big one for me. I am not really forgiving. I mean in general I am but there are just some things I have a very hard time letting go of. This was even worse when I was a kid. I had several bad things happen that I took to heart and changed my whole outlook on life because of them. I stopped trusting people. After one particular incident I started avoiding human contact. I kept this up so long that now I have panic atacks if someone touches me unexpectedly (like a hug or a hand on my shoulder). I can't even get close (in proximity) to people or I start freaking out. That was actually one of the reasons I avoided church. Christians are so touchy-feely! Always want to hug people. In fact, last week this lady hugged me when I went to church.
My poor husband gets the brunt of my unforgivness and it has caused alot of strife between us. He's messed up a couple times and I just can't forget it. How can I? Of course I try to justify my own mistakes. It just hurts so much when someone you love lets you down like that.
So this is one I will need to work on.