Christianity Oasis Forum

[tntchao]

I am sitting in a middle of a seperation where my wife has told me she wants a divorce. She says she can't stand the tought of being with me another minute. I have told her that I am not giving up on our marriage. For two weeks now the seas have been calm. This past week even, there has been some strides forward. Her attitude toward me has improved and she has enganged in small talk with me. I have "Let go and Let God" This is some of the reason for her change in attitude. My problem that I am having is she is moving forward not only as a single parent but an only parent. If something comes up with the kids I am the last to know. She informs me of appointment at the very last moment. If she needs the kids watched she will not call me to watch them. I am at the point of wanting to say something. The problem is things are going well with us and I dont want to take a step back. I slipped today and let her know a little of my fustration but I cut it off quick. I am going to speak to our church counselor on wed to help shed some light on this delicate situation. I am trying to be patient.

[Dora]

What does she need?

Because this spot you're in will be temporary for you.

So find out what she needs and give her that. What is her heart longing for. She says separation. But what about before she gave up. What was it she so desperately wanted to the point she finally gave up on ever finding it in you?

Not speaking financially, speaking emotionally or mentally or physically.

A tuff question to ask....what is it about you she felt at one point disgusts her? Which by the way is harsh things to say to someone and I'm sorry she spoke these words. Perhaps they were spoken out of pain and she didn't really mean them. I hope so. But encase she meant this, what was it that was behind this disgust?

You're right, right now is a very fragile moment. It's a time to give even when you aren't receiving.

From a woman's point of view, anger or frustration would send me far far away. Not saying you are angry or frustrated. Just saying.

Keep working the steps and working your relationship with Christ. With Him, despite the outcome, you'll make it through to the other side.



Take care brother.

[deetu]

Ever read the book, The Five Love Languages? Really opened my eyes to things... may help.