Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Today we learned about Gods forgiveness and that we can all be forgiven. It also touched on the people that walked away from God because they lost someone to death or divorce. I have lost a lot of people to death but I think I have lost a lot of people through abandonment and I think that's why its so hard to believe that God exists and that he loves me. Because I don't feel lovable at all most days. I struggle really hard with unbelief I have the hardest time sometimes accepting his existance. I want that overwhelming faith that others have and I want to feel Him there and know hes there. Maybe I messed up too much that I cant feel him? I got really angry at God once and told him to go away and that I belong to satan now. That was years ago. Maybe that was unforgivable? Anyways today I messed up again not in telling God that again but the one thing that I hold onto for dear life that is the reason I have such warfare. I NEED this to go away. I hate the feeling and I hate that when I want to sin I cant see past the want at all.

Amie, bless your heart

The one thing we can be sure of is that God knows our hearts. In our humaness, through our unreliable emotions...which come from differnt events that occur in our lives...we often either blame God for things that happen..like death and loss..or divorce..or blaming Him for making us into something no one else wants...or, deep down inside we believe God should have stopped this or that from happening, should have worked things out this way or that....in our broken humaness, we forget that God has given each soul a free will. He is not a puppet master. He allows things to happen in our lives, loving, holding us, being right there with us..all the while knowing our hearts and knowing what He is going to do with the mess of our lives. If God had taken seriously what you said to Him, you would not be here at Oasis. You would not be concerned, whatsoever. You would not be reaching out to Him for the hope of healing that you are seeking. You didnt shock Him with your outburst. He already knew the state of your heart...and He loves you.

I honestly believe this: we associate God with what we know...until we find His Truth. We see our heavenly Father the way we see the men in our lives..or our earthly fathers, or anyone we looked up to..or trusted, who walked away from us.

God is not man. God's love is pure...longsuffering, honest, unconditional, sees the best even though He knows the worst about us, God's love is nothing like the world's love. I believe this is one of the roots you are dealing with. He will not leave you. He will not stop loving you. He knows your struggles. He is not ashamed of you. He loves you and wants to set you free from this struggle. Believe He loves you and that He loves you so much that He died for you.

There is much there, sister in Jesus. You are holding on to so much. Its time for you to surrender it all to Jesus. His perfect love leaves no room for fear. There is no fear in it..and there is no chance that He will abandon you.

God bless you sister. You are not alone.

In Jesus,
love momo

Amie,

I had to come back and read your post again. You know, I believe if people were honest with themselves, there are times we doubt. I remember talking with my pastor one day, telling him the same thing. I was astounded when he told me he sometimes was hit with unbelief. There is a passage in the bible where a man asked Jesus to help his unbelief. The word says to seek and you will find. The more you read His word, allow Him in, allow Him to heal you, surrendering everything you are...everything you arent...everything, to Him, the more He changes you from the inside out. Ask Him to help you in your unbelief...and keep seeking. You are called, my sister in Him. You are His. You have been His since before He created the earth. He has always had His eyes on you. Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains..and you have heard Him..and stepped out in that faith the minute you answered yes and looked for Christian counceling.

Its there...and it will grow....like the good seeds being planted, He will grow your faith. Just keep seeking Him.

Standing with you all the way in this.

In Jesus,
love momo

Hi Amie,
I see you have met momo she is one of my favorite sisters here at Oasis, she is telling you truth
God wants your truth, do you think he wants you to fake it when you talk to Him NO WAY!! He wants you to talk to Him from the heart, if your hurting or angry you might be able to hide it from everyone else BUT you cannot hide it from Him He knows all.
One more thing to consider if we didn't know of pain and heartache then joy and happiness wouldn't be what we see it as,
take food for example, if you ate the same thing all your life and never had some of the tasty good foods that you have ate then you wouldn't miss them right? because of tasting all the different foods you now know hmmmm I don't like this as much as that WOW that's delicious!!
I don't believe God gives us the bad but I do believe he allows it because of free will, He wants us to choose the good.....Him
I do not have that overwelming faith you spoke of BUT I have a very steady and strong faith that has been with me even when I was doing the drugs and drinking and all of the other things satan gave to pull me away, satan put those things there but I chose to follow them BUT the beauty of it all is God was patiently waiting for me to wake up and realize I was doing wrong, He did NOT love me any less during this time and He never turned away from me and I believe the same for you He never turned away from you even when you said those things He knew you would come back to Him and He patiently waited for you and has accepted you back with loving open arms.
You are heading on the right path and He is right there with you (it is when you seen only one set of foot prints that I was carrying you) pariphased of course.
God bless you amie and may He show you that He is there with you and always will be
Cuc