stone #4
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:49 am10/7/11….stepping stone #4
Whew! This stone is a hard step to not slip on! Interesting that in my daily devotional the Lord pointed out to me something in line with my healing that I never noticed in this particular part of Scripture before. John 6.12&13 says:
When they were filled, He said to His disciples, “Gather up the leftover fragments so that nothing will be lost. So they gathered them up, and filled twelve baskets with fragments from five barley loaves which were left over by those who had eaten.
The Lord really personalized and pierced my heart with this devotional and showed me that “the fragments” are the broken pieces of my life, the pain other’s actions have caused. He showed me that when I have had enough, or, when I have had my fill, He wants me to do the work of “gathering up” these fragments(weeding my garden) where others have chosen to “eat” away at those places in me that at first were whole, but now broken, and He will help me sort through and place these “fragments” in their proper place for healing, one “stepping stone” at a time.
This is all in line with my choice to forgive. For me, forgiveness has been going through a process of achieving the fullness of forgiveness. I know I have made the choice to forgive others in my life and many times I would even write the date down that I chose to forgive, and I believe God honors that. The problem for me lies with the physical abuse and mental anguish from my ex-husband. I had to get out of that situation after 33 years of violence. I believe I did forgive him many many MANY times over, just to have it happen again. Even though I don’t live anywhere near him anymore, he still plays psychological games through my daughters and grandchildren to do his best to get to me. It’s the continual pressure that makes me doubt my extended forgiveness to him. I publicly want to say that, I AGAIN am choosing to forgive him and I ask that the Lord will bless him. In honesty that is very hard for me to do! Even my stomach is doing flips right now, but I will say it again louder…”I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE HIM….” Lord help me to continually release the feelings I have that have wished him harm and to give him completely to You, because he needs Your grace and Your mercy too…..
Whew! This stone is a hard step to not slip on! Interesting that in my daily devotional the Lord pointed out to me something in line with my healing that I never noticed in this particular part of Scripture before. John 6.12&13 says:
When they were filled, He said to His disciples, “Gather up the leftover fragments so that nothing will be lost. So they gathered them up, and filled twelve baskets with fragments from five barley loaves which were left over by those who had eaten.
The Lord really personalized and pierced my heart with this devotional and showed me that “the fragments” are the broken pieces of my life, the pain other’s actions have caused. He showed me that when I have had enough, or, when I have had my fill, He wants me to do the work of “gathering up” these fragments(weeding my garden) where others have chosen to “eat” away at those places in me that at first were whole, but now broken, and He will help me sort through and place these “fragments” in their proper place for healing, one “stepping stone” at a time.
This is all in line with my choice to forgive. For me, forgiveness has been going through a process of achieving the fullness of forgiveness. I know I have made the choice to forgive others in my life and many times I would even write the date down that I chose to forgive, and I believe God honors that. The problem for me lies with the physical abuse and mental anguish from my ex-husband. I had to get out of that situation after 33 years of violence. I believe I did forgive him many many MANY times over, just to have it happen again. Even though I don’t live anywhere near him anymore, he still plays psychological games through my daughters and grandchildren to do his best to get to me. It’s the continual pressure that makes me doubt my extended forgiveness to him. I publicly want to say that, I AGAIN am choosing to forgive him and I ask that the Lord will bless him. In honesty that is very hard for me to do! Even my stomach is doing flips right now, but I will say it again louder…”I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE HIM….” Lord help me to continually release the feelings I have that have wished him harm and to give him completely to You, because he needs Your grace and Your mercy too…..
