Day 3 - Faith to believe for emotional breakthrough
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 10:12 amI'm thinking over yesterday as this encompasses yesterday and today. I had a breakthrough from God regarding my attitudes toward a friend. He set me straight that the negative thoughts were indeed thoughts from satan against my "Jewish" friend. I commanded satan to take that thought directly to Hell with him where it belonged. I asked my God to forgive me and cleanse me. I really felt clean and swept out.
Then...
I went to give some soup to my elderly neigbor who is doing so-so after a hip surgery about six months ago. She used to be sharp as a tack, but in the last few years she has been losing more of her memory. It grieves me so (not only for her but selfishly I am worried that will be my demise as well as I have been having problems with my memory as well). Anyway, I took the soup in and put it down and talked to her for a little bit. then I noticed she had a bruised and purple discoloration over her nose, forehead and cheeks. I commented on it. She told me that the night before she was sitting on her couch and must have fell asleep sitting up but woke up when she hit the floor face down. With her hip problem, she was unable to get up and didn't have a way to get to the phone but managed eventually to get herself up. She now looks worse and is hobbling more. It makes me think about how God must hate what sin has done to the world. It put fear into me about the reality of death and what is on the other side. About what is that last breath like? So, again, I find myself struggling with fear. Again, I need to read God's promises to be of good courage. I am finding it difficult to keep hold of them. I catch moments of strength but then they escape me again. The bigger picture outside myself, is that I should be sharing Christ with her. Yet I am feeling convicted because I have not lived a life as a neighbor that would reflect Christ. So how could she take me seriously. On not being a good neighbor, fear again is the primary reason I don't engage neighbors. The breakthrough which I am desiring is from this emotional bondage that keeps me from engaging people. Also, I wonder will my elderly neighbor, Dorothy, even be able to grasp when I am sharing Christ because of her failing mind. I pray for courage and the Holy Spirit to illumine me for the words to speak and for her mind and heart to understand and receive Christ.
Another different thought I had was that in my Bible study group we have each other's emails. Sometimes there are emails to all of us, but then sometimes individuals email other individuals to encourage or share what they may have on their heart. I had the thought that I may be left out. Panic! I also know that to be encouraged you have to share your heart; and that I have to be listening to God for when He wants me to share with other individuals. But I want "that" not to be of me (for a pat on the back) but from God so I can give Him the glory He deserves.
Then...
I went to give some soup to my elderly neigbor who is doing so-so after a hip surgery about six months ago. She used to be sharp as a tack, but in the last few years she has been losing more of her memory. It grieves me so (not only for her but selfishly I am worried that will be my demise as well as I have been having problems with my memory as well). Anyway, I took the soup in and put it down and talked to her for a little bit. then I noticed she had a bruised and purple discoloration over her nose, forehead and cheeks. I commented on it. She told me that the night before she was sitting on her couch and must have fell asleep sitting up but woke up when she hit the floor face down. With her hip problem, she was unable to get up and didn't have a way to get to the phone but managed eventually to get herself up. She now looks worse and is hobbling more. It makes me think about how God must hate what sin has done to the world. It put fear into me about the reality of death and what is on the other side. About what is that last breath like? So, again, I find myself struggling with fear. Again, I need to read God's promises to be of good courage. I am finding it difficult to keep hold of them. I catch moments of strength but then they escape me again. The bigger picture outside myself, is that I should be sharing Christ with her. Yet I am feeling convicted because I have not lived a life as a neighbor that would reflect Christ. So how could she take me seriously. On not being a good neighbor, fear again is the primary reason I don't engage neighbors. The breakthrough which I am desiring is from this emotional bondage that keeps me from engaging people. Also, I wonder will my elderly neighbor, Dorothy, even be able to grasp when I am sharing Christ because of her failing mind. I pray for courage and the Holy Spirit to illumine me for the words to speak and for her mind and heart to understand and receive Christ.
Another different thought I had was that in my Bible study group we have each other's emails. Sometimes there are emails to all of us, but then sometimes individuals email other individuals to encourage or share what they may have on their heart. I had the thought that I may be left out. Panic! I also know that to be encouraged you have to share your heart; and that I have to be listening to God for when He wants me to share with other individuals. But I want "that" not to be of me (for a pat on the back) but from God so I can give Him the glory He deserves.
