Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I've been wandering around this site for a couple of days now and have met several members that have really touched my life in special ways. Those that have had 1 on 1 interaction with me may not quite know what to think about me. Well, I can't really help you on that one. I can tell you that I am in a very confused state. I know that God is not the author of confusion so I am safe in assuming that satan is hard at work on me for some reason. I have been saved, baptized (in water), and called. I served on the mission field in Guatemala for some time and in Mexico briefly. I believed that my past was far behind me. However, in recent days it has come back full force to haunt me. The old temptations and urges are back and stronger than I remember. I am under the care of a Psychiatrist due to hearing voices that others can't hear and seeing shadows that others say they can't see. I'm not crazy......but I am obviously under attack. The desire to take my own life is strong....not to die...but to escape the overwhelming guilt and shame that has overtaken me. I struggle to accept His forgiveness, though I know it is there. This should not be hard for me, but it is. My mind is so confused and my thoughts race through continuously. Sleep is hard to come by because my mind won't shut off. They have changed medications in hopes of helping but I know that meds alone won't do it. I desperately need for God to intervene. It is not my place to question why He has allowed this or why He has chosen not to intervene.....obviously there is something I am missing. I humbly ask for your prayers that I may be willing to go through whatever I need to go through, not disappoint Him in the process, and come out victorious on the other side of this. Thank you......

Hi living4him

I am sorry that you suffer a lot but put your faith into Jesus.When you suffer He's suffering with you.Maybe it sounds like words of encouragement only but things will change a lot when He decide to rise you up from it.

I know two ladies which were under strong attack of evil(exorcism was necessary) and now both of them are doing much much better.So..nothing is that much bad that Jesus can't fix it

I would recommend you consideration of His suffer on Cross.In name of that there is one prayer book "Revelationes" of St Brigit of Sweden.Book is known as "15 prayers of St Brigit".She was mystic and nun.Very good book for hard times and against attacks of evil.

Be brave and patient...patience is maybe more important.

GBu

living4Him, everything that happens in life, and everything we go through is for God's glory and God's glory alone...does that mean we will suffer at times...you bet ya...does that mean we will have good days..you bet ya...does that mean we will be tempted and attacked by the enemy...you bet ya....does that mean we will be reedemed in Jesus if we hold on to the Faith and Believe that He is the Son of God?....YOU BET YA!

Living4Him....I know what you are going through is not easy...but seek out the blessings...and see what God is doing in your life...I mean He did bring you here to the Oasis and you have met some really great people as you said so yourself...so just know God IS moving in your life...His plan might just be different than yours though...so accept His and you will find the joy you seek.

luv ya