Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

It seems as if I have been under high stress my whole life. My childhood was filled with emotional and physical abuse. My ex-boyfriend sexually, and emotionally abused me. And in church I have faced gossip and spiritual abuse. A minister in the church that I attended told me that I do not have what it takes to be a Christian, since I chose to no longer be close with people she assigned to mentor me because I did not trust them and I personally felt like they were spiritually bullying me.

Please pray for me guys. I know God is real and I believe in God and Jesus Christ however I have so many struggles believing I have a bright future because of the things that happened in my life. I have since changed church locations but I am still in the same network of churches. It is so discouraging.
How do you heal from a life like mine?

Hello newcreation, and welcome to Christianity Oasis. We are so blessed that the Lord led you here where He knew you could find new friends and healing for the pain you are struggling with.

First we have to remember that on this earth, there is not one human any better then any other. We have all sinned, we have all fallen short of the glory of God, but God never stops loving us and will not. His love is unconditional, forever.


What does being a Christian mean? Doesn't it mean believing and having faith in God and following His word? Not following words from man, but from God.

In truth, WHO decides if we are Christians or not???? Is it me, or the person sitting next to you??? No. That is between you and God. The Bible states that those who believe in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. So if you follow Christ and have faith in Him doesn't that mean you are a Christian and believer of God?

Please don't allow anyone to convince you that you are not one of His children, because that is not true, you are. He chose you. He loves you. He sees in you what no one on this earth ever will. Always remember, we are only here on this earth temporarily, but are we to be with Him for eternity. So only listen to what HE says to you, not what anyone else says, because they don't know you like HE does.

You will heal from your pain, this I believe, because I know that God has huge and beautiful plans for you, so please hang onto that, hang onto Him. This journey is just beginning for you. A new life is starting, a new day is dawning.

I do hope to see you some time in the chat room and get to know you more. Have a blessed day and evening in the Lord.

Sincerely,

Breezy

Hi newcreation, welcome to the Oasis. We are just delighted to have you here with us.

You know you asked if there's a way to be healed from a life like yours...and the answer is yes...your name says it...God wants to make you a new creation...one that He can change into a life that can glorify Him in many ways....

As I read your thoughts you shared...I see a lot of pain caused by others...and healing from that pain comes from forgiveness and the ability to let go of the past and move forward. The counseling steps will help you do this...and bring you to a path that is brighter...one that is filled with the love of Jesus.

Praying for you.

Come visit us sometime in the chatroom.

Take care and God Bless you

Hiya newcreation...

so glad the Lord led you here....welcome to Oasis.

"you dont have what it takes to be a christian'??? wow....i wonder who on this earth "has what it takes" as in qualifications...what are the qualifications, anyway?

Sis, these people and their judgments dont define you. God, your creator does. Him in you does. The you He created you to be qualifies you to be His child. You are created in His image, given a heart to love and serve Him..and in His plan and for His glory, He gave you life...for HIS purpose.

Im so glad again, the Lord led you here. You will find healing within these steps. Take one day at a time...and one weed at a time. All these things you have dealt with and been told, Jesus is ready to heal you from. He is more than capable.

this is the link to the Holy Spirit inspired counceling here at Oasis. Ive seen so many lives changed through these steps. Jesus said to ask, seek and knock..i really hope you will take these steps and as you do, know that you are not alone in this.

http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm


we will walk with you every step of the way, sis...and Jesus loves you so very much. He led you here to find the truth.

God bless you and we are praying for you.

in Jesus,
love momo

Hey newcreation....Welcome to Oasis
I do not believe that you are her by accident.
WOW! what judgement has been placed on you. What are the requirements to decide who does or does not have what it takes to become a Christian.
I believe that God said that He loves us unconditonally. That is without conditions. That all we have to do is to love Him in return.
I encourage you to walk through the counseling steps here and to begin to learn that you to can be a christian.

http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm
this is the link for them.

I also would like to encourage you and to say that YES there is healing. I to lived an awful life of abuse...but am now beginning to walk in the freedom that I was chosen to walk in. You to can do that.

You are in a place where you will not be judged, only loved and accepted.
Hope that you find all you are searching for here.
Know that we are all in this walk together and that I have broad shoulders if you ever need one.

Keep pressing in and reaching. Don't you dare give it.

If you would like I would encourage you to read my story on how we serve a loving God and how He is so willing to begin a healing process in you. You can click on the Peace After The Storm at the bottom if you choose to do this.

Hope to see you in chat sometimes.
God Bless You
Tam

Hi Newcreation, Welcome to Christianity Oasis. Don't think there is much i could add that hasn't been said. Except for the fact that the ones that have replied to you here are ready and willing with God's Loving embrace accept you just as you are. Just as Jesus has accepted us all just as we are with all the bumps, bruises and scars that life had brought us. Jesus heals that, creates in us a new creation. Sometime it takes time.

Lord Bless you Newcreation and so good to have you join here at Oasis.
angel

Thank you guys so much for your replies and encouragement.
@Tam. I read your story. If I didn't have an experience with God at a young age to be honest I never would have pursued God and still held to my faith in God. I read a book once called Your Knight in Shining Armour by PB bunny. In it she talks about signals that we give off because of brokeness and that we have to identify those signals and allow God to heal us.

I began to notice that I have been attracting the wrong friendships and individuals in my life. Over the past years I have become comfortable cutting off wrong friendships and not even entering dating relationships. Because I realize that Satan is the author of confusion and he will attack us through, WEEDS, Through sons of disobedience, people who are not truly connected to God. Satan did this through my mother who emotionally, physically, and mentally tore me down, through my father who was a pathological liar, emotionally abusive, and into witchcraft. This was a great foundation for Satan to enter into my life a boyfriend that sexually assaulted me and was emotionally abusive since I was so torned down and brainwashed in my childhood.
I like you had a life that was a mess, and now I see satan trying to reenter my life again through spiritual abuse, wrong friendships,and wrong men, even though I haven't dated in almost 4 years. It is very very hard because I have to continually practice that when God allows me to see a warning sign, such as a friend making a degrading statement or putting me down, that this is not a friend worth having a cutting off that friend. Because God says in the Bible that a righteous man is cautious in friendship and that a wise man forsees danger but the simple proceeds and gets punished. Proverbs 12:26/Proverbs 27:12.

Unfortunately our parents were complete failures but we have to allow God to be our parent and we have to be vigilant in kicking satan out of our lives and reprogramming our signals. It has been unbelievably hard sometimes I want to give up and just join the world have sex without marriage, hook up with "nice guys" and etc. But then I remember and know that God did not do this to me. It was my parents fault, Proverbs 14:1 and they will be held accountable for it. But for right now I have to renew my mind and reprogram my spirit to healthy friendships and relationships and to be vigilant to kick the wrong people out of my life.
In reading your story.

I am not certain who was the husband you actually married. And I am uncertain as to why you maintained a relationship with your father. Joyce Meyer a minister was also sexually abused by her father, but although she forgives the situation I am certain that she went through lengths to make sure that she wasn't in an environment where that can happen again.

It seems from your story that throughout your life you have not separated yourself from people who have abused you or you have not taking action such as reporting the crime to the police and giving satan the notice that you are no longer going to tolerate his crap. I am very sorry for the things that have occurred to your children. I pray that the cycle does not continue but that they receive counseling from a certified counselor preferably a female and that the counselor and yourself will teach your children about boundaries: The physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries.

It is hard for me to teach something that i have not mastered so I guess the Lord is pruning me. Because I want to marry a man of God and a man that I can trust; unfortunately I do not trust anyone right now and perhaps even if I get married trust would still have to be built.
I say this, because we can not choose our parents, but we can choose our friends, confidants, and spouses. Please pray for me and I will also pray that the Lord will give you wisdom and discernment and renew your spirit to drive out all the WEEDS around you, horrible family, friends, and relationships. Ephesians 2:2

I truly believe Jesus is coming back soon. I have never seen so much evil in my life.

I also want to add for my ex-boyfriend, on our first date when he was walking up to me I had a vision, it was like a ghost of my father, walking towards me in front of my ex-boyfriend. My father is still alive, But I thought that was strange, but after the whole ordeal I realized that my ex-boyfriend had the same character just like my father and the same controlling spirit like my mother. That was Satan's choice.

I believe, but still struggle with doubt, that if I put God first and learn to love myself more and to trust my instincts and not to be anxious for Anything that God can give both of us Isaiah 61:3, Beauty for Ashes. And He will restore all that satan has taken away from us just like He did for Job.

Also I believe the Lord gave me that vision to warn me. But because I was so young and I did not have guidance, I just did not understand.

Hi again newcreation...as I was reading your shared words...the words faith like a mustard seed came to me. I see that you are very well versed in your studies of the Bible...and that my sister is excellent in drawing on rebuilding your Faith...I know God is going to do a work within you...and He has something good for you. I was wondering if you had a chance to work on step 2 of the counseling steps...the one about pulling weeds and planting seeds....it's an excellent step.

I look forward to reading more of your thoughts...and encourage you to continue sharing them.

Take care and God Bless sis

Sometimes we do get use to being treated poorly and that's what we attract or even are attracted to. We even can feel uneasy when we are around the opposite of abuse.

I once couldn't say "Jesus loves me." Even thought God was angry and abusive as well. Wow was I wrong. He loves us each one and is more patient and gentle than anything we've ever known. I hope you know this type of God my new friend.

and learn to love myself more

. modern pyschology has told us that we need to do this in order to be whole, but it is unbiblical. where did Jesus ever teach that?
paul said Oh wrethched man that i am, and called himself the chief of all sinners.
love God, love others.
when u do those things, there really is no room for self, but those things will make you whole. u will see that u can trust again, and love again, and have healthy relationships.
not everyone in church is a Christian, but u are. if u cut off everyone who ever wronged u, where is the mercy? where is the forgiveness?
yes, u must get safe. but if 1 cor 13 says if i have not love i am nothing.
love is not some warm, fuzzy, feeling of euphoria. love does something for the object to lift them up. love gives them our best. love prays for our enemies. love feeds them when they are hungry, and puts what we "need" aside. love is a sacrifice as well as a commandment.
as a person who has made a science of cutting people off, you will find it very hard to establish trusting relationships and you will wind up suffering through things alone.
we need our godly friends, pray for your parents, and boyfriend.
only Christians can do that.
we here love you and i exhort u in the name of Jesus to ponder these words. follow the counselling steps, they really are a God-send.
looking forward to reading all the wonderful progress.
God bless

Thank you so much for your reply. I do not cut everyone off and I am not all knowing but for right now I stay away from unhealthy situations. I have Christian friends and relationships. I know that I can not survive in isolation but I also believe that it is not wise to be around people who are divisive, and those who willfully sin and causes others to stumble. Many times in the new testament the Lord says to avoid those people from what I have been reading.

Also I am not dating so I do not have a boyfriend.
If I loved myself and had proper wisdom I never established a relationship with my past boyfriend and the relationships that I currently have.

I believe God has to be my center and wisdom has to be my eyes. I was a people pleasure, easily felt guilty, and foolish. 2 Timothy 3, God outlines the type of people women were to stay away from but He also said that weak-willed women loaded down with lusts and who are foolish, ever learning but never able to come to the truth, let those men or people into their lives.

I believe Love is an action or mercy and wisdom. Because Jesus said that as you do for others so it will be done to us. (I am uncertain if I am misquoting). Again thank you for your feedback.