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Today is sooo hard that believe it or not I'm posting today's journal for the 2nd time. I was at the end of my journal when I hit a bad key and deleted everything I had posted. Oh well, I guess this is where I pick myself up and dust myself off and try again!

Growing up I knew you had to forgive in order to be forgiven. I didn't have a problem forgiven, trust me, I had to do it a lot. I have been wronged too many times to count. The problem was that after I forgave someone I expected them to acknowledge by apologizing and then all would be good for me to move forward. It's sad I know, but I truly believed there was nothing wrong with that until today's lesson.

I have a situation where my brother owes me thousands of dollars and he had no problem calling me and trying to have relations with me as long as he was in need. Now the shoe is on the other foot, I am in need and all I ask is for him to repay what he owes. But he treats me like the plague and refuses to do what is right. This hurts me a lot, that even though I have told my family members that I have forgiven him I cant seem to go further because he hasn't acknowledged by apologizing. My heart is heavy and I feel ashamed. So "today is hard" because I know I was wrong and I need to make this right some how. I need , wisdom, guidance, and strength.

GOD has spoken to me thru this program and I am thankful. I want to do the right thing. I don't want my blessings to be blocked by silliness. I want to succeed. Thank you Lord Jesus.

Hello sleepless. I've hit the wrong button many times and deleted everything I wrote. It's very frustrating. Very!

When it comes to loaning money. I choose not to. I won't put a friend or family member in bondage to owing me money. Give it freely if you feel led to help them.

Wiping away his debt would be an act of love.
After all if we paid the good Lord a dollar for ever sin we've committed we would be in so much debt. Yet he wiped away our debt. Completely. In full.

Don't allow money to come between you and your brother.

Release him and you release yourself.

Don't let this get you down. Continue to pray for God to help you.

God bless and keep you.

Hey sleepless sorry about your having to post again. Glad you pushed through and did post again...shows God that you are learning to be patient and not give up easily. He is proud of you.

Sis...your right about forgiving your brother without expecting anything in return...yes it is difficult to do...but you CAN do it. What you may have to do is lay it down a few times until you can release it...and everytime you find yourself dwelling on the money...renew your thoughts and think of good things instead. Eventually you will be able to not let those thoughts harm you over and over.

God loves you sis...and He has this if you will let Him take it from you. He wants to carry the burden..He is waiting.

luv ya

Hi sleepless,

sis, trust the Lord for what you need. Its all His, anyway. What you gave to your brother blessed him in his time of need. God is faithful to take care of yours. As Pine said, dont let this be a stumbling block between you and your brother or a reason for unforgiveness. In the end, the money isnt worth what could be lost over it. God bless you, sis.

in Jesus,
love momo