struggling
Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 9:45 am
I need prayers. I feel as though I Lost God. I have been a child of God for over 15 years. Last year I did a really serious sin in Gods eyes. I am hurting now. I feel lost, scared and hopeless. Losing fellowship with God is one of the consequences of this sin. I can not bare all of this. I lost my peace and joy. I am spiritually dead. I do not know if I will ever get this back. I know that God restored David. It has almost been a year and I feel so lost. I miss my Lord, the peace and joy I had in Him. I feel uncovered now. No hope. I pray continually that God would restore it, but to no avail. I know that it was my own actions that did this. I am scarred all the time. No peace in anything in my life. If I could only turn back time. But I cant. I suffer the consequences everyday. I don't even think that od can even look in my direction any more. I grieved His Holy spirit. I don't think anyone could hep me. I have asked for forgiveness and repented, but I still don't feel Him or the Holy spirit anymore. Please help me. I want to be restored onto Him, but I feel its too late. I cannot bare to spend the rest of my life like this. I do not rest, I am fearful all the time. Please help if you can. Has anyone every gone through this? It hurts, but I guess that's what I deserve for hurting the people I hurt through this sin. I am truly sorry. If I could only turn back time. I can't. I feel so lost. More lost now than I did before I was saved. I always had a heart for God how could I have possible hurt Him this bad. I feel I don't even belong here. Some days I just want to die. Please help me. If you pray for me let me know what the Lord has put on your heart concerning me. I just want to have His joy and peace again. Thanks for listening.