Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Well, I'm still going. The hardest thing, though, it to be consistent each day. I must confess. I have missed days and I've a lot of "weeds" growing. I am able to get out of bed, do daily activites, (go through my steps, watch tv, eat, shower..) but I hate having the feeling that time is running out, something bad is going to happen, and dept is pilling up on me. I really just can't do anything! I can't even look at the mail, take phone calls, or even hear about something I owe, AND how much I owe. My wife has taken over all of our paperwork. She is very strong and I thank my God for her! We know we have our issues in our marriage, but we are going through this time together. I hate that I'm not strong enough to help her with making the calls, going over the mail, and other things. It makes mt worry, I get anxious, and I experience symptoms of depression. Once that happens, it through her off. Iim just trying to maintain the best way I can right now. I pray, listen to christian music and radio stations, but not as much as I should.

We got a foreclosure letter last week, a collections letter yesterday, and God knows whats next...TAXES! STUDENTS LOANS! GOD! If ever there was a time that we needed a finacial miracle, now would be the time. Honestly, I've been reading about a situation called "undue hardship" I believe thats what it's called. But, from what I understand, it's when you have so much dept, that it's impossible to live a basic life and pay all of what you owe to debtors. This would be my case now and even if I went back to teaching. Yes, teachers really don't make that much, even with a Master's!

Brothers and sister, I just have to let it all out. Please bare with me venting. I know it seems that I'm not letting go and letting God handle my situation...it's just that I truly have to learn just how to do that in my case. I've prayed, cried, talked to God, asked for His peace, mercy, favor, the kitchen sink ...Most of all knowledgeable, christian people to help me with my lack of information on things. I've realized that I feel better when I have knowledge about situations. I need to know what to do when and if the time comes. Such as, how do I go through foreclosure if I have to? If I do have to pay the IRS taxes this year, how do I tell them that I can only pay so much now? Will they work with me? What if I can't pay the collection agency? Do I have to pay all of it? Do I pay at all if I can't? How do I stop these people from harassing me?

Honestly, I haven't done anything "wrong" so to say. I haven't maxed out credit cards on material things. I don't have a fancy house, backberry or Iphone, fancy car, or anything that would say I'm living above my means. I just tried to survive that best way I knew how. Food, mortgage, and basic utilities. Okay it's time to stop now. I love you all that read and reply. God Bless you!

harmonizer I still cringe when my spouse walks in the door with the mail..though nasty letters from the bank stopped a few months ago and the phone hasn't rang with a collector on the other end in many months I still tense inside every time It rings. Wondering if it's terrible news on the other end. All I can share with you is I understand and all this will pass away anyhow. Don't let the material destroy your family. If you don't allow this to destroy your family it will strengthen it. There are programs like Larry Burkett and Dave Ramsey that offer advice. I can try to help you find their numbers if you are interested in going that route.

Oh hey, by the way, vent away.

Sending prayers for you and your brother.

Harmonizer you vent all you need to. It wasn't to long ago that I was facing those days and saying the same thing. What if they ...... do I do.......when will it..........you get the picture. I soon learned that all those what if's and why's and when's wasn't really trust God to handle it. I was still holding on to some form of it. Yes that is our human nature to want to hang on..but we gotta trust that He will be right on time and that He knows just what the future holds for us.
I would like to agree with what Pine said here:

If you don't allow this to destroy your family it will strengthen it.

Trust God and lean on His mercy and grace no matter what happen. Prayers are going up for you.
Keep venting if you need to

Hi Harmonizer,

OK my first bit of advice..... BREATHE! Slow, deliberate breaths and with each tell Papa something you are thankful for. Anything you can think of... you got out of bed this morning, your wife's strength (as you stated earlier), your friends, oasis, etc.

When you run out of things to say thank you for continue reading.... no worries, I'll wait.



Done? Awesome!!!! wb

Now.... onto the next part... Please know I understand the feeling as I like many others have been there. You will get through this... Papa will see to that.

harmonizer wrote:Please bare with me venting

That is what we are here for bro. You see, Papa already knows what hurts your heart, but in sharing it with others you allow His grace to work.

To answer your questions....

harmonizer wrote:I've prayed, cried, talked to God, asked for His peace, mercy, favor, the kitchen sink ...Most of all knowledgeable, christian people to help me with my lack of information on things.

Awesome that you are praying, I know He enjoys hearing from us! ~ and ~

Welcome to the Oasis I'd say one prayer answered at least.

harmonizer wrote:how do I go through foreclosure if I have to?

Contact your bank or ask your wife to, to learn the details... there are other solutions such as turning your home over should it come to that, which is less damaging then "foreclosure"

harmonizer wrote:If I do have to pay the IRS taxes this year, how do I tell them that I can only pay so much now? Will they work with me?

Say just that. Figure out how much you can afford comfortably and go into the conversation with a clear head. For example, you know you can afford $50 a pay.... When you call explain your situation and say, I can offer you $40 per paycheck.... this gives you a little "wiggle room". It depends on how much you owe, as to the exact payment requirements. You can also file an extension to "buy" some extra time. But, Yes they will work with you.

harmonizer wrote:What if I can't pay the collection agency?

Bro, I am gonna suggest that you contact a Bankruptcy attorney. It is generally a "free consultation" and they can provide you a wealth of knowledge. Some debt is less.... damaging. But meeting with such a professional would definitely answer your questions. Also, if they learn based on your debt portfolio that you are (in accordance with your state laws) able to file for bankruptcy, they'll work with you too by setting up a payment arrangement. And... if the first attorney you go to see tells you you are eligible to file, but won't work with you.... seek another. Before you begin meeting with Attorney's, you will need to gather all of your bills.. All of them. And have them with you when you meet with the attorney. Bank statements, W-2's from previous years, and a list of any "equity" will also be needed.

harmonizer wrote:Do I have to pay all of it? Do I pay at all if I can't?

It depends on what sort of debt you have. Things like credit cards are going to kill your credit but there is little that can be done about "unsecured" credit.... they will offer a "Settlement amount" eventually... which is what happens when a credit card has been in default for so long that is turned over to a collection agency... then turned over to another. Basically, at this point the Credit Card Co has written the debt off and the collection agency is left to try to acquire the funds. They'll offer a "settlement" which generally knocks off a large portion of the "Late fees" and "penalties" and can be as much as half the debt owed. Additionally, they'll offer a sliding scale "settlement". For example say you owe $10,000.00 to a "A" Credit Card... now Collector's-R-Us, who got the file from "Get-the-Dept Corp" says, "Well if you pay it in full now we will accept "$6,500.00 and this debt will be considered resolved. ~ or ~ You can make three equal payments of $2,250 (which equals 6,750) ~ or ~ You may choose to make monthly installments of $150 for the next 47 months... and so on.
They then take their percentage of what you pay and give what is left back to the Credit Card Co.
That is basically how it works anyway. It varies by state so I cannot say with full certainty

harmonizer wrote: How do I stop these people from harassing me?

Well bro, ya gotta talk to them. Or talk to a bankruptcy attorney in your area. If you choose and are able to go this route, the attorney will give you information to give the agencies that call.

Depending on the Laws in your State, you may be able to keep your home, car, all the "Secure" debt because you will not include this in your bankruptcy.

Lastly, you should talk to the "Student Relations Dept" at the college you are attending. Often times they offer all sorts of info on Grants and things that are not income based. They may also offer a "Work-while-you-earn-your-degree" program where you work on Campus, depending on your skills level this could be various things. This would help pay for your education.


I wish I was posting from work, that way I had more facts to attach.... at any rate...

I hope this helps ya bro! Remember Papa is bigger then any of this, and He will bring you through it. Lean on Him and be thankful for the things He has given you.

Pine wrote:If you don't allow this to destroy your family it will strengthen it.

I wish, also, to stand in agreement with Pine and Tam
Awesome!!! Don't allow this to destroy you or your family.... come together in times of trial and know God has y'all.

Prayers are with you and your Family always.

Peace and Luv in Christ,
Lani

Harmonizer,

I will pray for you daily. Here are a few verses that I have started to meditate on given my trials. I hope they are helpful to you.

Isaiah 41:10

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Philippians 4:6

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Matthew 6:25

25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat
or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more
important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Harmonizer...God loves you...I will pray for you daily,

Love Your Brother in Christ

Greetings Harmonizer,
I don't know what it is like to have to go through what you are dealing with because I have never had the privlege to own a house. I have been through and sometimes still do go through realy ruff times. I just wanted to say that God loves you and as long as you continue to trust in Him to see you and your wife through, things will work out. Don't listen to that devil for he would like nothing better then to see you fail.


Keep the faith

Keeping you and your wife in my prayers.

Luv in Christ
B.B.

hey harmonizer...God bless you, my brother.

bro...all of this can be worked out. it takes time, but God IS in control, if you give it all to Him. None of this was yours to begin with, it is all His. You cant take any of this with you when we leave this earth. I know how debt can make you feel as if you are drownding, but bro, God will supply you with the things you honestly need. He will lead you through this. Trust that He knows what He is doing. Give your finances to Him. Give your debt and worry to Him. It sounds so easy, but as He states in His word, if He feeds even the birds, how much more will He care for you? It may be that He, as He has done with me, wants you to see that your security doesnt lie within whats in the world, but in Him and His provisions. Release all of this...knowing and trusting that He truly is God and will get you through this. Be still and read His word, thanking Him that He loves you and will take care of you and will lead you through this. Its not easy to do, but take your eyes off the situation around you and place them on the One who will supply you with what you need. Faith, brother...have faith. He will bring you through this...

standing with you and praying for you. You arent alone in this.

in Jesus,
love momo

pppsstt....they cant eat you.