Day 3
Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:47 am
Wow...God is soooo Good! BELIEVE IN HIS GRACE! That's something that I've had such a hard time doing. I've been thinking alot about these steps and why God led me to this website, and after reading day 3's lesson, I get it. Forgiveness. He's forgiven me. I have to forgive myself. As hard as it is to do, I can't move forward without it. I've held on to my past for so long that it has stopped me from receiving His blessings. I can finally allow myself to let go of those burdens in my heart. By no means am I justifying what I've done, all of it was wrong. However, I KNOW that by God's Grace I'm forgiven and that feels incredible.
When I lost SSR (the guy I thought was going to be my husband), I was so angry and heartbroken. He didn't pass away (thank God), but I felt like I had died to him. That was over 2 years ago. When my father started to get sick 2 months ago I left him a voicemail and told him what was going on. He texted me back that he was really sorry to hear about my dad but to keep praying and to have faith. That God will be with us. I was so excited that he had responded that I didn't even pay too much attention to what he had said in the text. I thought wow, I finally got through to him after all this time. Surely, he must still have feelings for me, this is great. Well, I was wrong. I had spent over 4 years loving a man, almost worshiping a man that forgot I existed. Until very recently, I though that just because I want something so bad and I pray for it so much that God MUST want it for me too...It doesn't' mean that at all. What I want doesn't necessarily mean it's what God wants for me. He wants me to worship Him and love Him and only Him, then He'll decide what He wants for my life...and truthfully I'm relieved to let go and let Him do it. I'm exhausted!
I see God working through the people in my life, it's amazing. I've thought for a long time that I wasn't worthy of His amazing Grace, yet there He is picking me up, dusting me off and carrying me. I'm so unworthy and undeserving, but man.....THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME!
Love and Blessings,
inHishands
When I lost SSR (the guy I thought was going to be my husband), I was so angry and heartbroken. He didn't pass away (thank God), but I felt like I had died to him. That was over 2 years ago. When my father started to get sick 2 months ago I left him a voicemail and told him what was going on. He texted me back that he was really sorry to hear about my dad but to keep praying and to have faith. That God will be with us. I was so excited that he had responded that I didn't even pay too much attention to what he had said in the text. I thought wow, I finally got through to him after all this time. Surely, he must still have feelings for me, this is great. Well, I was wrong. I had spent over 4 years loving a man, almost worshiping a man that forgot I existed. Until very recently, I though that just because I want something so bad and I pray for it so much that God MUST want it for me too...It doesn't' mean that at all. What I want doesn't necessarily mean it's what God wants for me. He wants me to worship Him and love Him and only Him, then He'll decide what He wants for my life...and truthfully I'm relieved to let go and let Him do it. I'm exhausted!
I see God working through the people in my life, it's amazing. I've thought for a long time that I wasn't worthy of His amazing Grace, yet there He is picking me up, dusting me off and carrying me. I'm so unworthy and undeserving, but man.....THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME!
Love and Blessings,
inHishands