Step 1
Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:51 pm
ok...it's step one for me....a huge step for me.
Well lets see....
I'm supposed to open up and be honest with everyone....including myself...this could take some time
Lets see....I'm battling with Depression...one of which is a generation thing...which in conversation with my 7 year old today he's headed down the same path
I am tired and weary....i know i can't give up and that God has a special plan for me....just don't know what it is and what purpose i have.
I struggle with friendships and with feeling accepted....even in church as well. I know it's just me...but i can't help feeling all alone and unwanted
I really struggle with feeling alone and abandoned..... I know God has never left me...even when He should have... He is the one that keeps drawing me back and giving me strength right when i need it. My father left, my ex-husband left, bf's have come and gone, my g-pa recently left, my mom died about 8 years ago....it was a good thing my ex left...and was in some way orchestrated by God, my ex's decisions, and my prayers for peace...he was an atheist and wanted me to conform...also abusive....ect.
i have nothing but regrets and lost time....it's funny i always wanted a testimony when i was growing up in church....now that i have one...i don't share. God has been very merciful and full of compassion for me...and looking back and going through things now i see that. But i still struggle every day, moment, and second.
i tried to do things my way like that was a good idea....i have since learned that i need to do things God's way....but i am lacking direction in areas....right now i have to wait on God and that is difficult for me
I am also struggling with reading my bible and praying....i don't know why it is so hard for me right now....it is a constant struggle....i can pray for everyday things....but to really spend time in prayer and communion with God is difficult and something i've only been able to do at church
well, i guess that wasn't sooo hard....i'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out step 2.
Well lets see....
I'm supposed to open up and be honest with everyone....including myself...this could take some time
Lets see....I'm battling with Depression...one of which is a generation thing...which in conversation with my 7 year old today he's headed down the same path
I am tired and weary....i know i can't give up and that God has a special plan for me....just don't know what it is and what purpose i have.
I struggle with friendships and with feeling accepted....even in church as well. I know it's just me...but i can't help feeling all alone and unwanted
I really struggle with feeling alone and abandoned..... I know God has never left me...even when He should have... He is the one that keeps drawing me back and giving me strength right when i need it. My father left, my ex-husband left, bf's have come and gone, my g-pa recently left, my mom died about 8 years ago....it was a good thing my ex left...and was in some way orchestrated by God, my ex's decisions, and my prayers for peace...he was an atheist and wanted me to conform...also abusive....ect.
i have nothing but regrets and lost time....it's funny i always wanted a testimony when i was growing up in church....now that i have one...i don't share. God has been very merciful and full of compassion for me...and looking back and going through things now i see that. But i still struggle every day, moment, and second.
i tried to do things my way like that was a good idea....i have since learned that i need to do things God's way....but i am lacking direction in areas....right now i have to wait on God and that is difficult for me
I am also struggling with reading my bible and praying....i don't know why it is so hard for me right now....it is a constant struggle....i can pray for everyday things....but to really spend time in prayer and communion with God is difficult and something i've only been able to do at church
well, i guess that wasn't sooo hard....i'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out step 2.