Christianity Oasis Forum

[arken1]

I did check out the other forum and found someone struggling with sexual addiction. I mentioned this blog since it's helped me so much so far.

I was just thinking, it's almost like God has given us the power to override Him. The freedom of choice means that, even though we ask God for help, and He lays the solution in our laps, we can still simply not do it. Why would we not want to use that solution? Because Satan tells us not to, convinces us to be lazy about it, and does anything he can to make it look like the wrong path.

I guess I say that because, here I am repeating what I've already done once, and I know I was feeling so much better about everything the first time. I think I got so excited after the first 2 weeks of journaling, and then got too busy with everything going on in life, that I never made it on to step 2.

God has given me the answer, I just have to put it on my answer sheet (and the answer sheet takes months or years to fill out).

[Dora]

I think it is very cool how you are reaching out to help another.

Way Cool!

Praying for you. Glad to see you back at it.

take care. God bless!

[havingfaithagain53]

You saw the LIGHT! Way to go! And another thing I was told and believe... don't stop your steps even if you feel stuck on one issue. It has helped me to do that. Also, I keep a Journal with notes on all of this and then just read though it to refresh my memory. It's awesome. No matter how silly it may sound to a man or older person... you need to make all the charts they are talking about and keep it!

Everything is told to us for a reason... it WORKS!!! So... good luck and sounds like your trusting more and more everyday!

Love & Prayers,
Linda

[arken1]

I will definitely keep that in mind about not getting stuck on one issue in the steps. I remember reading step 2 and kind of thinking what I would surround myself with (one idea being a photo of a happy family that I would like to have, but never will in my current state). Then, I just kind of got busy and time got away from me. Not going to let that happen this time.

One thing I've noticed is my biggest battles come from television, movies, and the Internet. Of those, most of the content that makes my mind wander are advertisements. Basically, sex sells. Everywhere we look today, we see sex. Even if it's not sex per se, but simply losing weight/working out, the mascot is a sexy man or woman saying you can look like *this* if you buy our plan. Why would you want to look like *this*? To be sexy. That's the bottom line.

Other things are just conversations. One thing that's got me is even in the office, you hear "that's what she said." Which immediately makes you try to put together some sexual reference to an otherwise benign comment.

I know these things sound very subtle, but they all become tests for me. It really makes me have to cling on to God just to get through the day. If I'm not careful, it's very easy to let these daily life things spawn dangerous thoughts in my mind. Again, after my first round of Step 1, I let something very subtle lead me to finding things I need to be staying away from. After that point, I started getting a little worse, a little worse... and finally decided to restart Step 1 and try this again.

Thanks everyone for reading and providing good insights.

[havingfaithagain53]

Most of us are no different than you..... we all have our struggles with the temptation that is THROWN in front of us on the TV, INTERNET and even out there in the stores! But... just get used to that... that is why it is called TEMPTATION.... the sin is when we RUN with the thoughts or do something about it.

Here is an idea you can use... or not... All I know is what I had to do and it has been such a blessing that I forgot how I even enjoyed all the things I used to watch. I had gotten into so much TV, due to the fact, that I was in bed for over 2 yrs with my problem. And as I was STUDYING THE WORD everyday, I still would watch things that was questionable. Then, BAM! The Holy Spirit says... "Do you really want to walk closer to me or are you just saying that to sound good?" OUCH! So... I ask "What do I need to do?" The Holy Spirit led me to watch 'DAYSTAR' everyday for over a month. Not hardly watching anything else, maybe news, but even then, I didn't want to hear negative. UNBELIEVABLE! My whole life changed! When I kept putting in positive ... positive... positive.... well... you get it.. right? I was beginning to think POSITIVE. Sometimes we don't realize how NEGATIVE we are ... due to our enviorment. We begin to BELIEVE the world and all it's NEGATIVE THOUGHTS are all that there is in life.

You seem to have a GREAT ATTITUDE of trying to encourage yourself to do good. That's what is going to take to complete the course you are on. We have to BELIEVE in POSITIVE and GOOD THOUGHTS. If you look at your words as you are typing see if what your saying is a battle with negativity .... if it is.... there are things to do to change that.

I can see where your coming from and I can see the GOOD you are accomplishing... so .... keep going... your on the right path and have the right attitude to destroy all the evil that is around you. Like you said... it takes work.... but in the long run.... it makes it easier and easier each time you go through a battle to see where you came from and know that you have already won many battles. This is why satan is doing his best to keep you in this one battle.... :/ Prove to him that he has LOST this one! You actually have to talk to him in a spirit of anger to let him know that you are NOT going to put up with his trying to destroy your life.

I'm telling you... your VICTORY over this lustful problem is just around the corner... and satan knows it! So... just keep on fighting the good fight and know GOD is GREATER & MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY OF SATAN'S TRIALS! I can't wait when you get there... then you will SEE exactly what I was talking about and you will be able to endure to the end!

I'm praying always for God's Awesome Courage to engulf you to give you the strength to finish this battle! Love & Prayers Always,
Linda

[vahn]

First off the bat arken , allow me to thank you for posting what you are experiencing , it brings me back to the days of the first couple of months of my recovery from the addiction(s) I used to suffer from . Hearing or reading posts like this helps me remember of the days where I could slip into in a flick of an eye .

My friend , early in my recovery , everywhere I looked , the "images " were there , or so I thought . the truth was , however , I was the one who was obsessed by them , those "images" had absolutely nothing to do with my interpretations of them . They were there for the people who enjoyed those things , it was I who had gone overboard with them . Those "images" had been and still are all around me today from the word go , what had changed was my outlook upon them .

What I needed to do was ask God to remove my OBSESSION , which is , by the way , something I CANNOT do on my own willpower , theories or intellectual education , I simply DO NOT have the Power to do so . I have ALL the knowledge , the means , the solutions and what to do about them , but the Power necessary for the removal of said obsession simply was not there . It simply HAD to come from HIM .

You are sounding much better , keep up the good work .


In Christ , our Lord

[ciny]

Hi Arken praying for you and that you are set free you know by sharing this you are helping others with the same strugles that you are facing.

i was set free from alchol and drugs i strggled with it for years and was full
of anger and rage i kept pressing in talking to God to take the addictions from me its been seven years almost eight in Febuary, i had to take a hard look with im my self to see the issues of why i kept going back i started getting in to Gods word and found a good church and oasis and listening to praise and worship, sorry for rattling on just giving you some ideas to help you God bless Arken,
Keep pressing on in The Lord Jesus Arken you are doing great.

[arken1]

havingfaith, vahn, and ciny, thank you all for the very encouraging words. It really feels good to get that reassurance that I'm on the right track. Even though I know God can do anything, that doesn't necessarily mean humans have the capacity to let Him. But, God said no test would be unbearable, and there is evidence in the Oasis of many hard battles that have been won.

I must say that everything havingfaith said has been in my thoughts lately. I think I'm going to have to make some changes in terms of what I will allow myself to see. I'm not a big TV person or Movie goer, but from now on I need to have a checklist in my head of certain content to avoid in movies. A lot of "funny" movies are centered on sex. I'm thinking American Pie here, even though it wasn't really my favorite movie anyway, I need to steer clear of that stuff.

Another thing I've noticed is Facebook. Facebook is now an endless supply of photographs and links to video content. The issue comes with people I barely even know who have friends of friends that seem attractive to me. Another issue is, as I mentioned in my first Journal, I have an "acquaintance" - I barely even spoke to this person and he friends me on Facebook - whom is homosexual. I just watched a youtube video he linked from a gay person who basically is fighting back against homophobes. What do I do after I hear the story? I read comments on the you tube page. It's just a chain of events that starts from something benign, like Facebook, and spirals me down a path that is NOT God's path. The result was I spent about an hour in almost a dizzy state while I listened to people's comments PRO homosexuality while I listened to the guidance Jesus has put into my soul.

It's still hard to ignore the feelings, despite the fact that I know what I must do. Vahn pointed that out and reminds me that I must keep myself in tune with God, so that His power can do the final purging of this disease.

[havingfaithagain53]

Hey Arken ~

Thanks for the encouraging words to let us know your thinking about things. Hey .... that's just one of the things that God helps us to realize. He gave us all a BRAIN so we could use it... how we use it is another thing...

Just want you to know that I have even been 'sidetracked' by things that are questionable ... of course... I didn't see it like that at first. We never really do see it at first with some things that satan is soooo subtle with. HELLO.... satan KNOWS us enough to know that he can't just put BIG stuff in front of our faces w/o us STOPPING HIM first! Soooo... he does it REAL SUBTLE... like in the Garden with Eve.... He made her think it was really nothing to eat this fruit... hummm dummy!

Anyway... I have been looking at somethings which the Holy Spirit has brought to my attention... bummer.... and to most people they would think I was really dumb to even think this way... but as I always say.... better to PLEASE GOD then MAN! Man can't get me to Heaven... GOD CAN!!! It was some t.v. shows I tape and watch... simple 'CLEAN' ones... I thought. Hummmm.... til satan changes up stuff... like adding cussing now when before they wouldn't really say a few ..... and more sexual scenes.... soooo .... I have decided to give them up! And let me tell you ... some of those I have been watching for a few years now... and have enjoyed them so much... cuz they are funny and were considered family oriented. You know how that goes...

What did make it easy was to think about having the Holy Spirit sit with me to watch them. I would say oh man... why do they have to have cussing on this... it would be a perfect show w/o that. And He says... would you like me to ask Jesus to come sit and watch it with us? DON'T THINK SO! Opened my eyes real QUICK!

This is the next thing you should prob think about as far as your 'friend' on facebook is concerned. We have to make tuff decisions sometimes in what to give up for Jesus. But, if you look at it like ..... would this HELP me to walk closer to the Lord? OR would it keep me into my desires just a little? Cuz... a little is all it takes to go to hell for! Satan knows that! Now YOU KNOW that too! OOOPS... did I make you accountable for what your doing??? sooo sorrry! NOT!!!! It's cuz I want to see you in Heaven when I get there....

Every time we give ONE SECOND to satan... it takes us TOOOOO LONG to FORGIVE OURSELVES before we get back where we should be. The GUILT part gets harder and harder... only because satan gives that to us too.... the dork! He is so good at playing with our feelings, using the simple things to distract us.... then says... 'See I knew you would do it again... HA!... now what? Go back and ask Jesus to forgive you AGAIN? Man... in a couple of days you will be back doing it again... might as well not fight me.... I'll win every time!' WHATEVER! My Bible says ... "STRONGER IS HE THAT IS WITHIN ME... THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD!" Take that satan!

How come is it when I try my best to write just a few words to someone, I write a million??? Oh well... I guess you can see I am a talker right? I just can't help wanting to help someone who is trying so hard to do the right thing. I see this in you... and KNOW your ALMOST there at the end of this TRIAL... so don't GIVE UP OR GIVE IN ... to any of satan's lies. He is a LIAR and always will be.... Just keep BELIEVING in what GOD is showing you and then DO IT!!! That easy!!! The only FRIENDS we need in this life... are the one's who will help us see the TRUTH about GOD! NO FRIENDSHIP IS WORTH GOING TO HELL OVER!

Hoping this helps .... and always praying for you! Keep moving forward as your doing and you will be on Heaven's Door Step before you know it!

Love & Prayers,
Linda

[arken1]

Yes, God certainly did gives us a brain. He has blessed me with a brain that has allowed me to learn what I've always wanted to learn and develop a good career.
However, I think my brain has developed a very common problem which I just made an interesting connection with. I am pretty sure I am having non-headache migraines. I have a lot of weird neurological symptoms and am going to a neurologist soon. I know this sounds a little weird, but what if this condition is related to the corruption satan instilled in my brain to respond to the wrong gender sexually? Everything I've read says that sexual orientation is something that is formed with like, direct pathways to your sexual part of your brain. It also says that, although difficult, these pathways can be changed. To me, I imagine this as an electrical signals connecting certain memories (of men) to the sexual area of the brain (I'm no doctor, so I have no clue if this is right). Furthermore, I have read that migraines are really like short-circuits of electrical signals, which cause weird symptoms.

The connection I'm trying to make here is that, maybe this condition is either directly related or symbolic to the sin that is engraved in my brain. Ehh... just food for thought, nothing to dwell on too much

I found that tonight, again, something I saw on TV struck up some sexual energy. Really, though, I can't JUST blame TV and other media for this. Sometimes I self-generate the images and feelings. I need to spend time meditating with God and reading His word to clear out my mind. You wouldn't believe how much stuff I put into my brain over the past decade.

Oh, by the way, I noticed that the bad stuff I think about most is the stuff I looked at between Journal 1 and Journal 2. This is making me feel like, "Hey, you had it nice and clean in there, but you junked it up again at the last minute." This is why I must finish the race this time.

And havingfaith thought SHE talked a lot

[havingfaithagain53]

I do talk a lot! You should get me on the phone... Oh well.. some of us have the gift of gab...

Ok.... as far as being a doctor... I'm the farthest thing from that! I have worked around doctors for some years though so that might give me a little knowledge... right?

I do know one thing for sure.... when you were cleansed of your sins... that's exactly what it means. You have NO SINS left in you from years ago or yesterday. I kinda know what your talking about though... sometimes we see something that brings back a MEMORY of things from the past. And here is where you either STOP the memory or help it along. YES... I have helped quite a few so many times in the past, to the point of having all the desires come rushing in again and wanting my needs met. BUT since I have been on Christianity Oasis and gone through some of the programs, I can HONESTLY say... I have learned how to deal with all those problems! It's totally amazing! Never did I ever think I would be able to WIPE away ALL these thoughts of LUST I have held so long. You know what's even more awesome... when I wrote that word... LUST... I didn't even have one bad thought!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

I know if I can do it... so can you! You may have a different kind of lust then mine... but guess what... lust is lust and sin is sin... simple! So as far as thinking you might have something deep down inside that won't go away... like I thought.... NOT TRUE! Another one of satan's lies. He is so good at his job... for real. We just have to recognize what he is doing.

As far as your non headache migraines .... you do need to check into that and see what is causing them. But... Dr. Linda says... Your other problem can be taken care of by just following the ROAD TO SALVATION and stay on the straight path. Keep listening to the HOLY SPIRIT as he is talking to you when you begin to do things that you KNOW are NOT going to draw you closer to GOD. The Holy Spirit has been beside me helping me all along... I've just now learned how to LISTEN TO HIM!

I don't know if you have read how Christianity Oasis got started but it is totally amazing. It really opened my eyes on how we need to see the Holy Spirit in our lives. Not only that... it should be put into a movie!!! It's awesome! It's under... THE SPIRIT WITHIN AND THE BEAST WITHOUT. READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!! I'm going to even read it again... I'm weird like that... If I like a movie really well.. I'll buy it so I can watch it over and over...

Well.. DR. LINDA has other patients to take care of now... so you have a GREAT day and you will receive my bill in the mail. OH WAIT... your bill is paid in full by JESUS... So... no charge!

Praying for ya... Linda

[arken1]

I probably should learn to read directions better, but when I first read the Counseling step #1, I thought it said to journal for 14 days was step #1 I realize now that each journal entry is probably an entry for each step. But no harm done. I have benefited from the two dozen or so journals I have written.

Oh well, starting tomorrow I will move on to step 2, and actually talk about it in my journal.

For now, though, I will continue with my usual rant. What happened today was not any strong sensation of lust, but a strong sensation of doubt. I just had this feeling like it's too late to undo the damage done, and I'll never have a heterosexual relationship. I had to pray those thoughts away at least 3 times today. The result of the day was that, I think I passed God's next little test, because I don't feel depressed, and I don't have that urge to just drop everything and go back to porn. Don't get too excited, I still can't imagine myself getting past this, but at least I do feel good about hanging in there until God uses his power to heal me.


Satan is kind of like a bully who keeps calling you names right to your face. There's only so much you can take before you just feel......bad. Even if you have the most positive attitude, you're going to feel worse than before you were bullied. That's how I feel; not depressed, but bullied.