Christianity Oasis Forum

[mlg]

rocky sis, I want you to know that I did something once that threatened my career as well. I ended up having to move away to another city and another state, and there was able to make a fresh start. I guess what I'm saying is that you can have a fresh start too. See with Jesus you are a new creation, and He wants to give you a new start. Reach out and keep your hold on Him.

I also want to say, that after what you shared about your friend, that I agree that your distancing yourself from her was for the best. Sounds as if she did not have your best interests at heart. I also want to encourage you to keep working on forgiving her as well.

Keep sharing sis.

luv ya

[rockyrun34]

Mlg,

Thank You. I am so embarrassed how I acted, and it still haunts me. I used my second step today to understand how to renew my mind. I describe my situation over the last two years, as a journey, me taking the wheel, driving fast, and going no where fast, becoming the bad person, everyone has told me that I am. Letting everyone's opinions of me, overtake me.

I fell into the wrong mindset. I want so badly for this to be a fresh start, and am praying that God takes the haunting of past mistakes and hurts away. I just want to be an ethical, Christ-like single woman, and it is so hard not to be tempted by loneliness and fear and the cruel opinions of the world. I got wrapped up, resentful, and believed Satan's words.

I have been so judged by my appearance by my family, in the church, friends, and co-workers, and have experienced unkind words about me, just because of how I look, and it just confirms how much my mother and sister could not stand me. I do not feel that outwardly different, but others keep telling me, about how my outward beauty as being a curse to them, making them feel bad. I don't even think this way, about anyone, and it hurts so bad. Satan has sent this type of feedback to destroy my faith.

I pray for healing and to keep those who could hurt me, at bay.

I hope I did not sabatoge myself too badly by believing what they say and becoming the bad person they think I am. I just feel that God led me to this different city to renew me. I feel he also has kept me unemployed, to realize it is Him who will help me find me my job and get out of this mess. Not me.

I fear going to church for the first time in 7 years next week. I do not think I can take hearing other women's opinions of me. ARgh.


rocky

mlg 1279- do u mind sending me a private message about your experience of a fresh start?

[mlg]

Rocky, yes I will be glad to private message you my experience

I want to say one more thing sis....what others say about you does NOT define you. This is something I've had to work on myself. Hearing what others think, and thinking they are somehow true when they aren't. Only God in us can define who we are...so sis, making this fresh start and allowing God to lead you through it is definitely going to be a blessing.

As for a job...don't give up hope...God has just the perfect one picked out for you.

luv ya

[Dora]

Hello RRun

I want to encourage you to attend church so to learn more about Christ and come together with other believers to worship him.

Be yourself. It's who Christ created you to be. I myself tried to dress on Sundays to please others. I was so uncomfortable. As if I was putting on a show for others instead of going to focus on God. I found a peace when I began to dress the way that I felt comfortable, yet pleasing to God. After all he is the reason I attended church, not for other people.

Remember they are just sinners and have no idea what they are doing to you. Pray for God to forgive those that have judged you. May they realize life is not about what you wear or how you act.

[rockyrun34]

Thank You Pine. I see what you are saying, but I was so severely hurt in my last church. I am really vulnerable right now, so I think any negative feedback would potentially harm me right now. I tried a few churches where I lived right after my divorce in the church, and it sent me into a downward spiral.

I have always tried to be myself, but have been extremely attacked by others in the church, using God to back their actions. Long story I will pray about it and follow God. I may not be ready for it yet. It really doesn't have anything to do with my dress. I am really conservative, but have been slandered about me choosing the single lifestyle, keeping in shape, and pursuing my career, and not wanting kids. It's hard to explain. There's a long history of spiritual and religious abuse, and I need to be careful where I go. There will be a church community out there for me. I think I have found one here. Wink!!

[Lani]

Hey Rocky!

Awesome to see ya found Forums!!

Also, glad to see you have decided to start this walk. Please know, there may be days that seem impossible.... please do all you can (lean on Him, reach out here) but try to keep going. You can always come back and start anew later.. healing will happen regardless. Many family memebers will tell you they took it multiple times... no worries.. on step at a time.

It has been an honor getting to know you sis. I look forward to this journey with you. I will simply leave this post as... "Hey Sis, I am walking with you".. See you for Day 3!!!


Prayers are with you always!!

Peace and Luv in Christ,


Lani

[mlg]

Hey rocky pssttt, you can always come here to COOL Church on Sunday nights as well. As for going to church...God will lead you to just the right one. Now one more thing, I have been at my church now for 6 years, and yes I've had my feelings hurt a time or two...but I go to church to praise and worship God, and I choose to forgive others who say things they shouldn't, knowing they are speaking from the flesh at those times. Work on doing the same.

luv ya

[rockyrun34]

"Work on doing the same". thanks alot. Let me take a minute to say, that I am no longer coming on this forum and this is the reason I do not open myself up to others.

I don't appreciate being told what to do when I am truly suffering. This statement was condemning when you do not know my whole situation. Be careful what you say to those who have suffered in the church.

The most damaging thing a Christian can do is to tell another Chrisitan in her struggles, that she should do more, when I admitted that I am struggling to forgive myself and really on the brink.

[mlg]

Rocky my sister I truly meant no harm in what I said and did not mean it to come off as sounding like I was condemning you...because I wasn't. I was just offering thoughts on where I have been and that I too have had struggles in the church.

No I do not know where you have been...I would never think I have....I would hope that you would reconsider coming back and sharing, because I did not mean any harm. You feel that I have offended you, and for that I am sorry.

luv ya always

[rockyrun34]

Sorry too.

I am in a vulnerable place, and am a tad sensitive. I have been so judged in my life, that I must pray about. It just felt like judgment or hit a nerve or something.

Sorry I went off. I need the fellowship, but am also realizing I am in a sensitive place. I will be back tomorrow. I need this.....

thanks and sorry too.....

[mlg]

No need to be sorry sis....you've been through a lot, and are now beginning to step out into a healing process...it's normal to be afraid of people judging...especially if you've been judged a lot. Friendships are built over time, and trusting doesn't just happen...that too has to be built, and won't come easily especially if you've trusted before and have been hurt....Just know I would never intentionally hurt you, and if you ever feel that I have, I ask that you share your feelings, so we can work through them...that's what true friendship is about...and I look forward to building a friendship with you.

Refresh in the Lord sis, and I will see you here soon.

luv ya

[comfy]

Do not let this stuff intimidate us. Pray God's love to these people.
And let us be with You, LORD. Pleasing to You.
And now, how would You like to have us with You?
We are Yours, first (o: Thanks so much for having mercy on us,
and taking us in Your peace of Your love with joy, even - - -
even while this world is stupid and sick with evil,
and church people can be defeated, instead of loving . . .
in the inferiority of the devil. So, may we be blessing >

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls;
though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .(2 Corinthians 12:15)

"Finally, all of you be of one mind,
having compassion for one another;
love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .(1 Peter 3:8-9)

So, we invest in this, for when we will be with our real Jesus Family people, and so this example can go to help those ones who are messed up and not getting a clue how to love you > you need to show them how to be.

And people are vain . . . I guess guys can be so vain about what you look like, and the girls might also be vain about you being "competition" . . . for the guys who are vain. If you want a real one > "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

The bait you use can be what chooses the kind of fish you catch. Yes, there are plenty of women who are trying to catch suckers

Example works > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) With good example of how to love, we can help the family and church people who don't know how to love. And by not trying to use the sex bait, but being honest with God, we can get connected with really loving people for marriage and friendship. But if we are trying to *use* people, this will keep us deeply degraded and emotionally troubled because we are not in the soundness of God's love. I am seeing how while someone is not being honest, but trying to use people, he or she can not be in real love, at the same time, including how I can not have honest perception to evaluate who I marry while I am dishonest enough to try to use people and take advantage of people. So, you are very wise to seek to become ethical and more > > > God's love will have you do better than just being ethical > "And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment." (Philippians 1:9)