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Day 2: the garden gate

Postby rebellious » Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:02 pm

So yesterday i started this 14 day journey, but instead of writing about why i decided to start this process i was too concerned with who may read it. :oops:
Anyway, though many have told me to go through these steps i have and always will be rebellious. I'm starting now only because i feel it may help. I have been through every possible obstacle this year, from rapes to abortions, drugs to being homeless, iv faced it all. And because iv never been one to seek help iv constantly had that "oh well" spirit. I'm facing addiction, oh well; I don't know where ill sleep tonight, oh well. Well thats not the best way to live. In fact it only makes issues worse.
Okay, now that thats over with :roll: to todays step.
I think i have one real flower in my life *Pray* Lord help me. Until now i didn't realize how corrupt my life has been lately. Usually i would say "oh well" at this point, but i want to kill that weed. Its only now that i see not only how much I have taken for granted, but how many weeds i have allowed to grow in my garden.
God sure has been patient with me. Iv been giving him the run around for six months now, but i know in due time I will be blessed. Its funny how we always put a time limit on He who is the holder of time. We put a time limit on He whos works are now and forever more. *laughter* We put the strains of time on He who is Alpha and Omega, Deity. lol That comes to show how out of place we (I) can get at times.
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Postby mlg » Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:16 pm

rebellious my sister, I smile to read your post today. You wanna know why I smile? Because now you have truly begun to take the step of healing after this post. I too have had to look homelessness in the face, and thank God, He provided me a place to lay my head. I cannot say I've faced all that you have, but I can say, that God has been there with you sis, wanting to be your strength and courage through all the trials you have suffered. Sometimes we choose a road that God can't follow us down, because it's not the righteous path, but when we come back to Him, He is right there waiting to pick us up again. He never leaves you sis, nor forsakes you.

Now let's talk about those weeds sis. The I don't care attitude has come about from you not knowing who to Trust or where to go. If you will place your Trust in God, He will help you pull this weed sis, and the next time a trouble arises, if you call on Him, He will help you.

Keep doing the steps sis. There are doorways still left to be opened.

Praying for you.

luv ya
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Postby Dora » Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:27 pm

Sounds like you've been through some ruff times.
Now that you are on the right track you can start making a better life for yourself.
Those weeds can be tricky. Being rebelious can be a leadership quality out of control.
Be a leader. A good leader. A person who leads others to a loving God and his way instead of the worlds way.
A leader will listen and sift through advice, taking the good and appling it where it needs to be applied and tossing out the rest.
Just because you are a leader doesn't mean you have to do things alone or that you can't listen and learn from others mistakes.
You are brave and strong and ready for change.
Stay on the path and change will come.
Not to be feared as this is change that will bring you joy and peace.

God loves you and so do I!
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Thinking things over

Postby rebellious » Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:03 pm

today has been a constant reminder of how horrible things have been. though im smiling on the outside i feel as though my heart is being torn out of my body. Oh well i guess. Oh lol im not supposed to be saying that. I was "self reflecting" today. I dont think thats a good idea it only made me sick of myself.

anyway, i will try to stick at this. It seems so much easier to do what iv been doint though i kno thats not what God wants from me. Idk any more
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Postby Dora » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:06 am

It does take you back to reflect on those things we haven't dealt with and let go of. Which can be very difficult.
They need to be revisiting onee more time so you can deal with the guilt, fears, anger, and unforgiveness so you can move on.
Then they can be left in the past.
God wants these things that are causing your heart to be torn.
This program will help you hand them over to him and bring you the peace you have been seeking.
Some of the things you might not be ready to deal with. Some may need to wait and dealt with later. All in Gods time. Not yours, not mine, Gods. It's the best way. Spend some time asking him which one he wants you to deal with and release to control over when, where, and how it's to be dealt with. Be cautious not to just push the junk that's being pulled out back in the dark where it came from. Let's drag it out and work on it. So it can be tossed out. Letting go is painful and scary at times. The benefits are so work while. Ready to get to work?

Love ya
Don't give up.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:50 am

Sis, as we discussed last night reflecting is ok, but don't stay caught up in the past. Stop living the past over again...you can't change what has been...time to change what you can do from here on out.

I see you've finished step 2 going to check it out now.

luv ya
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