Christianity Oasis Forum

[vahn]

One of the many jewels of wisdom my sponsor left with me , is the fact that , whenever any act of forgiveness is in order , there usualy is an act of harm done that goes right along with it . Whether that harm be initiated by me or someone else . It this not allways nessecary to forgive the person, rather approach the harm itself with a forgiving frame of mind . For it was Jesus that said condemn wrong , not the wrong doer .

Easier said than done ? , Of course it is . My carnal mind doesnt operate on that plane , but that still doesnt change the fact that if I dont forgive I die by it , ... slowly .

How do I go about it ? Following step 9 of AA , by making an amend .

Forgiveness without following up with an act of kindness , is no forgiveness at all , and that , is the core of the difficulty we face when it comes to forgiving others or ourselves . I the being kind to people who had hurt you is what matters here , that's why it is said it'll will be like heaping coal on their head , as of for me , I used to think " why dont you just give me the coal instead , and I'll pour it on their heads myself .
But no, that is not the way , the main purpose of forgiving is for me to heal , not to get the upper hand over the person , no matter what they had done to us .

Another principal in AA taught me is, our problems are of our own making .... at some point I had said or done something that later put me in a position to be sore .

Are there evil people out there ? Yes. do they do things to harm you without provocation on your part ? Yes . Do they make me angry enough to down right commit to a sinfull act ? Yes . but thanks be to God , who also taught me the difference between anger and resentment , anger is is always justified , we're humans , Jesus stormed into the Temole in a fit of anger , Resentment is downright sin , for it seperates you from God Himself .

Live and Let Live
Turn the other cheek
Dont look at your brothers splinter in his eye, when you have a tree in yours
Vengence is Mine, said the Lord
I will not only forgive, but wipe it out of my memory , He also said .

I can go on and on . In fact the whole essence of Jesus' teachings revolve around forgiveness . But always followed by an act of KINDNESS.

Forgiveness without kindness is dead, anyone can say I forgive you ,
It takes faith in the Father to help you act in kindness , for you cant do it without His aide , and if He shows you how , dont doubt how , for He will put the words in your voice and heal YOU in the process.

In Fellowship of Crist ,

Love you all !

[mlg]

Now vahn, you have said some awesome things here today...now it's time to apply them. Time to let God be God and vahn has to forgive. I know this is the toughest part...to hate the sin not the sinner...especially when the sinner took someone away from you that was your world....but as you said...God has to be in control of the vengence. So that means no you cannot have the coals to pour over anybody's head...cuz then you are trying to take God's job away, and that's another thing...God's mercy and grace comes much easier than man's. Remember when David sinned and God gave David a choice of his punishment...and two of the choices were to have man chase David for days or for David to allow God to plague the people and the land. David chose to allow God to plague the people and the land, as David said God's mercy is greater than men, and that the suffering would be less at God's hands. This is why God says to allow vengence to be His, as He knows the right amount of vengence, and many times we as man have no clue but take our own wrath too far.

Keep doing the steps vahn, keep healing.

luv ya