Christianity Oasis Forum

[grandma dolittle]

I often think what life would be like if I had never left my first husband after 15 years. Then I realize that I wouldn't have my boys. I have forgiven my first ex for his affair and I harbor no feelings toward him. In fact I am his closest neighbor, about 1/8 mile from him. He is still with his gf and I harbor no ill feeling toward her either. My regret is what the children went through with our divorce. My second husband was someone I reached out too before I had healed from my broken marriage. This marriage was doomed from the first. I had left my hometown and God. My husband had serious mental problems and tried to keep me away from my family and threatened me. The marriage lasted four months together, but legally 2 years. Then I married my third husband and he was very good to me and was very supportive when we had to take the boys from my daughter. He adored the boys and they him. That marriage lasted 15 years. I discovered he was an alcoholic and he kept us in debt constantly. He suddenly left me for a man. I was more angry and humilated than hurt.

I did not keep him away from the boys, but the youngest has Asperger's Syndrom and didn't understand and felt abandoned by the only Father he knew. I was more angry at what he did to the boys than me. The oldest had a car wreck, broke his back and had to have surgery. His dad lived in Oklahoma and chose to go to Arizona with a friend instead of being with his son. I was so angry that I couldn't talk to him. My oldest son bought me the first Left Behind book. After I read the book I realized I need God badly in my life again. It took a few years and I finally realized that if I didn't forgive my husband, that I could not go to heaven and he wasn't worth the price of my soul so I prayed for the ability to forgive him . After a few prayers, I felt peace and now I pray for him. Not to say that he could not make me angry if he hurts my boys again.

I think I haven't forgiven myself for making choices that set a bad example to my children or leaving the oldest's father.

[JohnR]

Glad to hear that you have found it in your heart to forgive your ex. I know that must have been very difficult but as you know it is for your benefit not his.
Lord Father I pray for healing & comforting in Sister Dolittle's life & that of her boys. I also pray that you give her strength & guidance in her journey thru the stepping stones program. In Jesus name I pray. Amen
God Bless

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