Christianity Oasis Forum

[Dria28]

Hello my name is Dria and I have been a member of this site on and off for some years. I have backslide a few times, I was married to a man who was not saved and felt that it was ok to sleep around and hit me when he was confronted with his infidelities and unwillingness to care for our son. I ran away but kept going back because I had my own issues with my own father not being there and wanted my son to have what I didn't. Finally I left and never turned back and a divorce was granted going on 3 years ago, but although GOD got me through that situation I got so caught up in my job that I didnt keep myself grounded in his word, but then about 9 months ago I started dating a man who also was saved but was very interested in GOD and for some reason I started feeling a tug on my heart to turn turn to GOD, he had never prayed before but one night he prayed and the next day we met some people from a local church and we started to attend later we found out that I was pregnant. I was so happy and he started talking about marriage so we started making the plans, Then I began to have complications with the pregnancy and was told I needed to be on bed rest so I had to stay out of work which made everything hard because up until this point I was a single parent I didn't receive child support from my ex husband and the new guy was now working temp jobs since he had now moved two hrs in another State to be with me.

In the course of this and now dealing with this pregnancy complication I received a phone call from my Step Dad that my Step Brother had just committed suicide, and then to top it off my biological father who I had just started talking to again had reverted back to using heroin so I wasn't in contact with him any more. And two days after my brother funeral I lost the baby,I did what I always do tried to push everyone away but this new guy wasn't having it he just wouldn't leave, told me that he still wanted to marry me despite the fact that I had just lost the baby he loved me and we could try again after we were married. So we started planning for the wedding and then his mother displayed her dislike of us getting married and brought the calvery which was his stepfather and grandparents to detest our decision to get married. And now with all of this we are also in so much debt because I haven't been working for a month and a half and everything is crazy. Finally my mother went out her way to help us with the wedding because she felt like we were doing the right thing he didnt want to live in Sin and neither did I, and we love each other and he loves my son like he was his own son.
We decided we were going to remain abstinent for the remainder of the time we were just living together and not married of we went back on that a couple of times but two weeks before the wedding we stuck to our promise and remained abstinent. We finally got married and we thought things would just get wonderful after that but then my ex had started all of a sudden wanted to speak to his son after almost 3 years of not talking to him and then I went to the Dr because I was really sick and found out again indeed I am pregnant but at this time I am bleeding so of course im worried and but more hopeful than I was the first time. Knowing that GOD has the last say, and in the midst of all of this still trying to get caught up in bills.
SInce we got married we have been working opposite schedules not praying the way we use to, We still feel like we balance each other out but we just can balance out life including our time with my son who he also considers his son. My cell phone was turned off which was hard but it kept my ex husband away while I dealt with everything else , until I get it turned back on. I want to be in a state of mind that I know GOD so well that I don't stress or worry I am in a state that no matter what Happens I will LOve and Trust in GOD regardless because he is so good to me and he blesses me even in the midst of my storms. Please pray for me and my family!!!!!

[xxJILLxx]

Wow

First and foremost , I would like to give u a huge hug!! minus the goofy grin on that smiley.

Second , sister, u are most def in my prayers n thoughts, all of u.

And sis I want to commend you on seeking Him and His righteousness through all of this. I am so so sorry for all yr losses and difficulties. You ARE still standing and fighting the good fight of faith. You sister are a victor cause you are His. Hang tight with Him.

Holy Spirit seems to be tuggin on you come closer, the both of you together. If you havent shared the tugging with yr hubby , I think u shld. My bet is Holy Spirit is doing some tugging on Him as well.

Remember God is in control and will provide according to His good and perfect will. Grab hold of that hope n faith and rest assured that He will never leave u nor forsake you.

God bless you all n keep u, nice to meet u and Hoping to see u around more.

Jill

[Dria28]

Hello Jill,
TY for posting I only made it through by GODS grace the other night I sitting down and listening to a song call he is my strength and in the song the artist says " You were my strength when I was exhausted you help me climb the mountains
its amazing to me when I look back and see how I made it over then I thought it was over and when my heart was shattered into a million pieces your love put it back together again." And when I heard that song I started thinking and realized just how far GOD has brought me no it hasn't been easy and sometimes the pain made me cry but I know he held me through those tears. No one could ever Love me the way he loves me, inspite of me trying to walk on both sides of the line instead of just serving him, my mistakes, my screw ups and my anger his Love for me doesn't change. So I see no other way but to trust in him which is also very funny because it use to be so hard for me to trust him and now I see no other way!

Thank you for your prayers

[momof3]

Welcome back Dria and

Im praying for you and yours as well, sister. He is so good. And faithful.

love you, girl.


In Jesus,
love momo

[Bearer Of Light]

Hi Dria,

Your situation and past hurts are very moving and I found them quite emotional to read. It is true that some people just never seem to catch a break. I have also felt this and sometimes still do wonder if I will ever get those ''breaks'' I feel I deserve.

I can only say that after reading what you wrote that God is testing your faith and your strength and trust in Him. God seems to know exactly what tests we need as we all get different ones. Although I have found that some can be quite similar, thus we can share and learn from one another about them. I have learned that God will never give you more than what He knows you can handle. All things happen for a reason, whether we know that reason or not. Trust in Him always and keep faith strong. Surround yourself with people and things that make you happy, that make you feel safe and comfortable.

If you allow things that do the opposite to surround you, you will feel and experience what you have been going through. All takes time and if we stay strong and believe in Him and what He plans for us... we will be very happy and fulfilled. You will look back on that hard and tough road you travelled upon and say to yourself, ''I travelled across THAT?!? ... and yet, I am STILL here.'' God gave you the strength to pull through all this so far... keep going... the light at the end of the tunnel may be closer than you know. Keep the Faith Sister. I will pray for you.

God bless you.

BoL

[Dria28]

Thank you all for your encouraging words, I am holding on to GOD an his promises I don't know what tomorrow may hold I do know that no matter what happens GOD has the last say, tomorrow I go for testing to find out what my HCG levels are and to hear what my Dr has to say about this pregnancy what he feel will happen. At the end of the day I know that GOD will be there and I will rejoice and be glad in him.
I'm not perfect Ive made many mistakes in my life and at times like these the devil reminds me of every one of them as if my struggles are a punishment but I know better. These trials these tribulations to shall pass I am resting in GOD and leaning on his word and at the end of the day I Know he holds me in his hands and I know that's the best place for me to be.

I Love You ALL In The Lord,
GOD BLESS!!!!

[Dria28]

I got the news on Monday my HCG levels have gone down so my Dr believes I have lost this child as well. It hurts I am fighting with my anger I know that GOD has my babies holding them close and they are happy. It doesn't stop the Pain I feel but I know GOD knows whats best, I pray that GOD will bless us with more children of our decent my husband has no biological children so he is starting to wonder if maybe the situation is him and because I have a child already I wondered the same but then I don't know I had a IUD in for two years after my son. I have blamed myself him its hard to lose children even though that hadn't made it to this side of earth they were a part of me.
I have gotten to the point were I am trying so hard to not let things phase me that i am becoming so angry and so depressed im starting arguments with my husband just because. My son keeps saying he wants a brother and sister and this time he didn't know about the baby because last time we told him I lost the baby and he was so confused and it broke my heart. I want more children I don't want my son to grow up alone I just all I can do now is Trust In GOD and keep asking for him to deal with me my heart and my pain...

[momof3]

Hi Dria

Im so sorry, sis. I know how hurt you are. Sister, God NEVER expected you to NOT feel. He gave you the ability to feel and the love with which you love these babies. Of course, they are part of you. I can only say to you through this time to trust Him. He does know why He allowed this to happen. We may not know the reasons now, but someday, we will. And, someday we will all be together again...for eternity. I know these sound like empty words but, sis..I hope they bring you some sort of peace. Those babies will never have to face the hardships and pain of this world. They will live forever with our Lord and Savior in perfect peace and love, never ever to shed a tear. They are where we want to be..and where we will be one blessed day. Thank You, Jesus.

I love you sis. Hang in there. You will get through this. You know that God is aware of every feeling you have. He isnt afraid of your anger. He hurts for you. Remember when Jesus cried..feeling the pain of loss the people around him were feeling? He will bring you through this. Dont give up. Dont give in. Run to Him, sis. You and your husband. Be there for him, too. Share your pain with him and allow him to share his with you. Pray with him...allow him to pray with you. Share this...all with the Lord. He will carry you through this.

Im praying for you...as I know many here will be. Take your fears and your pain to Him.

In Jesus,
love momo