Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Some issues, so we don't have to use up so many
.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tissues (o:

I'm 61, but never have been married. But I understand if God wants He can get me with whoever I really belong with. So . . . just in case . . . I submit to Him for how He would have me getting ready. I think that "Surviving A Working Marriage" would start before I get married.

But one pastor plainly told me, "You can't get ready for marriage!" Well, I can't get myself ready with what I can understand, but I'd say God can. And there are principles in the Bible that I can get into as a Christian and these would be for marriage, also . . . for example >

"Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14)

As I get more into unconditionally refusing to complain or argue, this can make me stronger in real love so I am ready for marriage, I would offer to God. And >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you,
. . . . . . . . . . but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

So, I am not to ever lord myself over anyone, not by means of charm or smart-talk convincing or threat or pressure etc. And this rule would go for in marriage > being married does not change the rules.

So, as her "head" (Ephesians 5:23) it is to be by my *example* winning her submission . . . while as my helpmate she is helping me get correction and more real in loving all people and not just being favoritistic for each other >

"For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

The rules don't change because we are married.

And why would I think up what I want for marriage, before I even have discovered who my wife is? The main thing is to be with one another, to love and enjoy each other, not just to USE each other for things we want . . . I would think (o: And if God brings us together, won't He make us ONE? We won't even be the same as we were, before; so why bring forward into our relating what we as individuals used to be interested in? It says to leave father and mother, but also I can see we need to leave behind "some number" of things and interests and start fresh with each other and enjoy discovering all You please to share with us.

I think in *holy* matrimony God's love will make us become "one individual", so we both become who we weren't before, and therefore with interests which will be different than when we are not with each other. She will be a special interest, to say the least (o: And our Father does enjoy surprising His kiddos.

So, after I started getting into this thinking with submitting for however God pleases to have this work out . . . I got cozy with a lady and she seemed quite interested in me and maybe even in love. Then she started giving me her list of all she expected. It was a list of things I suspected she had come up with before she even met me. I would think God would have us discover each other, and with this find out what each of us really is meant for. I would not limit myself to ideas I could come up with while I was a less mature Christian > why would you as a more mature Christian limit yourself to decisions you made while you were immature ? ? ? Even *each day* I would start fresh (o: And I was supposed to be her "head"(?), and I hadn't even gotten started with receiving anything from God, about us. So, it "looked" to me like God was not making me become her "head" (Ephesians 5:23).

Another thing . . . if a person is still suffering from past hurts > he or she can be seeking vain pleasures in order to just *feel* good. And so, the person can be trying to get someone to USE in marriage to make oneself feel better. When we're like this, this can easily cloud our judgment about who to marry.

But I realize a number of us have already done otherwise; but now we can offer ourselves to God and see how He encourages us and helps us do better.

"Falling in Trust"

I'm floating smoothly along the river,
then suddenly I'm rushed down
through a straight and narrow pass
with rocks straight up on both sides.
Yes, we're over the dam...
now in trust with one another,
because we can not be in God's love
and not trust one another.

We can go into the water, together,
but not competing with the
gentle caressing of the water
refreshing and softly tickling,
then we can warm ourselves dry.

Hello comfy
Wonderful to meet ya!

You are so right being prepared starts WAY before ever being married, at least if your are a Christian before marriage.
Some of us fail in that preparation because we did not know Jesus or the true intent of His style of marriage ...which is to be His first and one's partner second.

Being married brings challenges to the individual to become as a single unit...but thank fully God does not expect us to give up one's self in marriage. ...but the differences enhance the union if we allow it to ..unfortunately some allow the differences to get in their way of a contented happy life within marriage.

But when God is first life works out, not always guaranteed a smooth road but at least in a "working marriage" you are not walking alone but as partners united in God's will.

But the only way life works married or single to be walking in God's will

If it is God's will I hope you will find a companion to share your life with ..one with God's expectations for her life together with you.

Bless you in abundance.

"the true intent of His style of marriage ...which is to be His first and one's partner second."

Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h . . . so first my spouse is His . . . not first for me and to be pleasing me, first, but first to be pleasing to God. And if I'm into this, really, I'll be pleased when she is pleasing to God (o: if I'm first about being pleasing to God.

And I think I have noticed how a woman who has come my way can be pretty ready to take me over for herself. And I've noticed how I don't like this; so this can show me not to do the same thing with a lady.

Thank you (o: God bless you even more (o:

Bill