Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

i've heard it said that women are like butterflies and men are like hippos. not literally. but like; when a crisis of a "strong wind" comes into our lives, i know that i react like a butterfly, tossed about emotionally and yet, darrell is able to not react ... like the hippo, it hardly affects him emotionally; he is able to remain stronger and steady.

well, because our "hippos" are the stronger "vessels" they sometimes forget that they are dealing with a weaker vessel, and can be insensitive to us.

i believe we overcome this evil as paul instructed us to do with all evil. Over come evil with good. One of the ways i do this is to look at our wedding pictures. i'm not going to go into the details of how darrell hurt me (as i want to save respect,) suffice to say, i was hurt, and mad.

God told me ... "overcome evil..." i looked up at our wall (we have a type of memorial wall with all kinds of family pictures on it) my eyes came to rest on our wedding picture. OHHH, i get it!! i grabbed the photo album (grabbed, because i was still somewhat angry) ... but as i started looking thru the pictures ... my anger dissipated, and i was left with sadness. why i thought? God answered, "because darrell did hurt you, he did sin against you ... but, I don't want you to be angry; LOOK!! at the pictures ... LOOK at his eyes ... he loves you, he didn't do it on purpose ... he just didn't think ... give him grace ... and I WILL deal with him."

soooo, i trust ... sometimes the issue re-surfaces and we get to 'talk' it out, and sometimes, it doesn't .. but that .... is the faith part!!

what are some ways that you overcome evil with good in your marriage?

Lionhearted wrote:

> what are some ways that you overcome evil with good in your marriage? <


Well Lionhearted, I did something similar to what you did.
We were at odds over how to raise our son who was born with some challenges.
It got bad and we hurt each other.

I took inventory of myself. I found that I still loved my wife.
I watched the video of our wedding. I listened to our vowes
and to what the preacher had said about married life. I did
not want to give up on us. I prayed really hard. I mean *REALLY* hard!

There was this info-mercial about a counseling program. I had seen it
only a few times prior to praying. After praying I saw it at every commercial
break. I heard it on the radio at least a dozen times in one evening.
I took this to be God's answer to my prayers. I ordered this program.
It turned out to be our marriage saver. God answered my prayer
through other people who had gone through similar situations.

We then worked to find common ground. We restarted and built our
relationship from that common ground, focusing on common needs
and desires for our son and family unit.

Its not always easy. We still disagree on some issues. And some issues
we will always disagree about. But we now respect each other's ideas, so much
more, as they are focused on common purpose. I still pray for my wife
and my son too. I pray for my own wisdom as well.

Today, I can say, I am in-love with my wife.
She is so wonderful!!
She is one terrific Mom, too!!
We aren't in the same season, spiritually, but she believes in Jesus
and that is more common ground to build from. I tell her about my
friends I've made here at the Oasis. She reads some of the posts.
Perhaps in time we will have more commonality to share here.

Timothy

that is so great timothy !!!!!

...way to step out in faith brother, i believe heavenly rewards await you for your hard praying. it is such an encouragement to me when i hear people like you stepping out in faith.

thank you!

There has been points in my marriage that I was not sure how we would make it through or if we would. This is what happened every time. as soon as I stopped trying to fix things and started praying and asking God to take control because I obviously could not then He fixed them. Sometimes little at a time and some times right away. But It only got better when I sought god out. I think I should use that as my first line of defense instead of my last gasp after a storm.

hi shinabell,

i find thats what happens alot of the time eh, we try to "fix" things ourselves and it just usually gets worse ....

good thing for God's grace. it was always, God do this in hubby, or do that in hubby ...

now i've learned ... "Lord i'll wait and see what You want to do in me

...and leave my man in Your capable hands.

Yes lionhearted,
It reminds me of the book "The Power of a Praying wife"

POWER ... ...OF A ... ... PRAYING ... ... WIFE

i've been praying out of that book ALMOST EVERY DAY for ..... 8 years now ..... its an amazing book!!!

.... i use it like a textbook .... ... God is always teaching me something out of it ... so very kewl

tata