Seeking Comfort

Seeking Comfort

Welcome to Christianity Oasis. This is Seeking Comfort from our Sojourn With Luz Leigh Collection. We hope you enjoy this enlightening reading and it helps you on your own be-YOU-tiful Christian walk.

Click the link below to enhance your faith:

Click the link below for Christian Faith Studies:

Sojourn With Luz Leigh

Seeking Comfort

Written by Luz Leigh - 01 May 1998

This past week was not a great week for me. Problems a work seemed to overshadow my entire life. The problems stemmed from a new policy recently put in place ... a policy that I do not comprehend. It disturbs me when I cannot fully understand something related to my work. For many years I have endeavored to be a good employee for the City. I have loved my work, took pride in it. But, for about a month now I have come to dread going to the office because so many new responsibilities are being placed upon me. I am expected to know and understand a policy (ordinance) that probably is very simply if someone gently led me through and explained it to me. But, just reading the ordinance has not helped m comprehend its full meaning, nor understand just what I am expected to advise people, what action I must take when a subdivider comes into our office, etc.

All of the above, plus several other "crisis" have pushed me almost beyond my limits of endurance. This morning I did what a good employee should never do! I walked out of my office and left unfinished work. But, at the time, I felt it was the only think I could do. With one more responsibility dropped on me and one more question asked that I had no answer for, the tears just welled up and I could not stop them. I felt so helpless.

I took my "Gethsemane" to our family cemetery where I knelt and prayed for a long time. A light breeze was blowing, causing the wind chimes to sing. There were birds in the trees, chirping back and forth. Although I know there was traffic on the nearby highway, I was oblivious to it. If one tries, one can block out intruding noises and hear only the pleasant sounds. I go to the cemetery to sit and think ... and listen for my Lord's voice, comforting me. There are no phones to ring, no one to interrupt my thoughts. I sit by my husband's grave and feel comforted. A friend recently asked me if I knew that Jack is not really there in the cemetery. I told him, of course, I know he is not there. If he were there, do you think I would leave? I go there for the solitude, the peace and quiet where I can pray, listen, think and just relax.

While sitting there this morning, crying and saying, "I don't know what to do," I felt like a little child crying for its mother. But, at this point in my life there is no "mother" to comfort and guide me. Then I sat and listened, really listened. As I listened with my heart, HE sent one of His earth angels to be with me, not necessarily to answer my questions nor to give advice. Just to be there.

Don, my older son, drove up and quietly, slowly came to my side. He didn't really say anything, just that he thought I might need someone. He listened as I poured out my heart and soul to him, as I had done to my heavenly Father. The words just seemed to tumble out. In my heart I knew he had not the answer, but it was so good to have someone to just listen.

After a long time Don told me he knew not what to tell me to do. Then, he shared these words with me: "Remember, momma, these words. 'I will not let this get to me.'"

We got in our respective vehicles and headed back to town. Me with a tear stained face and the assurance that my three children are with me no matter what and that my Lord is leading me. Don with the knowledge that the roles in our lives had changed this morning, even if only for a short while. He was the adult, comforting me, the little child crying for her mother.

The day improved because I took Don's advice. I am not going to let the work get to me. I may have to take early retirement and find something else to do, but I cannot let my life get as fragile as it was this morning. Life is too short for that.

During the next few days I plan to do some serious thinking, praying and talking with family and friends. If I could find a way to survive financially on my retirement income, I would walk away from that job without looking back.

Lots of people tell me I would miss working. Well, I might after I get through with all the things I have been "putting on the shelf to do later." Like working on the genealogy of our families, both mine and Jack's, putting my thoughts into writing for my children/grandchildren, sewing again, playing with the grandchildren, visiting all those folks I keep promising to visit, learn more about what my computer will do, clean my house occasionally, work in the yard, read the books that are gathering dust. AFTER I finish all those things, I promise to get bored and look for a job. At the present time, I am looking forward to RETIREMENT.

August 2007 ... update.

I did, in fact retire. At the end of 2002 I said goodbye to the City, my co-workers and the job I loved for so many years. Many of the things I planned to do are still there. I worked a little on genealogy, but that is a never ending task; my writing brings me pleasure and I am sharing that talent with others via my webpage; more books have been purchased and are gathering dust, as is the sewing machine. The grandchildren have grown up; we hire yard maintenance people to do the yard; I still wonder about all those marvelous things this computer could. Let's don't mention housecleaning.

The list of collected writings by Luz Leigh:

Shared Thoughts

Copyright © 2000-2024 All Rights Reserved.