Amnon and Tamar

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study

Who Are Absalom and Amnon in the Bible

Welcome to our Christianity Oasis Daily Bread study program. This is our very concerning Amnon and Tamar Bible study taking a look into the provocative Absalom and Amnon in the Bible story and how the absolutely saddening and thought provoking Amnon and Tamar Bible study message affects your be-YOU-tiful Christian walk.

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Lesson
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Revenge

Today we have such a heart wrenching story ahead, but first let's briefly go over what we studied last time during our Daily Bread. The Lord used Nathan the Prophet, to talk to David about the sins David had committed.

David repented, and the Lord forgave him, but as punishment, the child born between Bathsheba and David had to die. But then the Lord allowed David and Bathsheba to have a son that would be used later to build a temple for the Lord, and that son was named Solomon.

In today's Daily Bread, we'll learn about some things that transpired in David's family after that ... Remember that the Lord told David that there would be conflict within his own family as a result of his choices concerning Bathsheba.

Here we go ...

David's son, Absalom, had a sister named Tamar, and in Biblical times, they referred to a beautiful woman as 'fair,' but in today's generation, Tamar would probably be referred to as, well adjectives change a lot from generation to generation, so let's just stick with saying she was beautiful. Now, David's son, Amnon, fell in love with her. (These two brothers had different mothers, so Tamar was actually Amnon's half sister.)

Now Amnon became so obsessed with his sister, that his lovesickness was obvious in his physical appearance, as he wouldn't eat, and grew lean. Tamar was a virgin, so Amnon thought it was next to impossible to get her to "give in" to him. But he had a cousin, Jonadab, who was very clever ... Subtil, they call it in the Bible ... A bad boy in other words ... And Amnon confessed his overwhelming love for his half sister Tamar to this "friend."

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Truth
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Sin

Well, gosh ... The name Jonadab means 'one who gives liberally' and true to his name, Jonadab felt obliged to give Amnon more than "a dab" of advice. He says to Amnon, "Hey man ... Why don't you give your old man a holler and pretend you're sick. Yeah, tell him you're not feeling too swift, and to send that little chickie sister of yours over to make you some griddle cakes so you'll feel better.

You know, when you're lovesick, just about anything sounds like a good idea if it has any possibility of resulting in being with the object of your desire ... Right?

Unsuspecting, David takes the bait, tucks a sack of flour under Tamar's arm and sends her on over.

Well, Tamar makes a tall stack and serves them to Amnon, but heck, he could have had any servant do that, so he tells Tamar to dismiss the servants and come and feed him by hand ... You know ... On account of his weakness and all.

... Uh, yeah ... Right ...

Okay now, enough silliness, this is truly a serious matter and it's not to be made light of ...

When she gets close enough to him, Amnon grabs Tamar and says, "Come lie with me little sister."

"No!" cries Tamar. "Don't do this terrible thing that you're about to do. How will I ever show my face again? And what about you? ... Why, you'll be nothing more than a fool in the eyes of everyone in Israel. I beg you, talk to Dad, and he'll allow us to get married."

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Research
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Concern

But Amnon wouldn't hear her reasoning, the passion and the temptation and lust were so so strong inside him, and though he was under the weather, he was still stronger than she, and he forced her against her will.

Immediately afterward, Amnon hated Tamar with perfect hatred ...

Tamar responds, "Sending me away is even worse than what you actually did to me!" But Amnon ignores her. He doesn't feel the same about her anymore.

Why?

One has to ask ... Was that passion that Amnon had for Tamar before he raped her really love? Or was it lust? If it had been love ... True love ... Wouldn't he have felt the same for her afterward as well ... Or even more so?

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Discussion
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Warning

Things look mighty different on the other side of lust ... After it's gone. There is a void that needs to be filled, to replace the lust, so if there is no love, the enemy of our souls will look for some kind of wickedness to lure with, in this case it was hatred.

Now, pay attention, because many people think that a physical relationship can keep another person's love for them alive, but it usually ends up a failure. It is such a common belief, especially among teenagers and young adults.

One or both parties may think that having sex will be an exciting adventure, but after it's done, the boy hates the girl because she's easy, and the girl hates the boy because he never really truly loved her ... Just wanted to have him a little fun. Whether you're male or female, don't mistake lust for love. Examine it very carefully. Investigate, inquire, inspect, dig, prove, test ... You owe it to yourself ... And to God.

Imagine how detestable they both felt. Amnon, because when the lust of the flesh is gone, the spirit faces the Truth, and he realized what a horrible violation he just committed against, aughhhhh, his own sister! ... And Tamar because she had not only been defiled, but defiled and then rejected the instant it was finished!

Not only did Amnon kick Tamar out, but he called to his servant and said to get her out of his sight and lock the door behind her. Ouch!

Tamar then did the ashes on the head thing and tore her clothes, like one would do who was in mourning ... Because she was! Her virginity was dead, and not of her own choosing.

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Message
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Danger

She was crying when her brother Absalom found her and he asked if Amnon had been with her. When she told him what happened, he consoled her and asked her to be patient and not to worry about what happened. So Tamar, forlorn and stripped of her dignity, stayed with Absalom after that. To expose the crime would have brought disgrace upon the entire family, and a woman so violated would not have been eligible for marriage in those days ... The kings daughter to boot. A tragic story, tragic.

Time out! Is this story of incest just a lesson for when it happens between siblings? Absolutely not! Lust is a tool of the devil that unfortunately, particularly in the current generation runs rampant, and incest is damaging souls in exponential numbers among the human race. The devil has used the world to present defiling thoughts to people and when a person chooses to entertain those thoughts, the results are devastating.

No little toddler boy thinks in his mind, that when he grows up he's gonna abuse his sister or his daughter. No ... The idea came from outside influences. Does that make it justifiable? Heaven's no! But knowing the source may help a victim to live inside their own skin after the fact. Never forget that the forbidden fruit was the one that the devil tempted Eve with. Had it not been forbidden, it wouldn't have held any curiosity or interest.

Note that in mankind, the more forbidden something is, with more greed it is desired. That is the consequence of original sin, and as Christians, we must depend on the Lord to be our strength and pursue righteousness whenever we are presented with trial and tribulation from that old serpent.

Let's also talk about sibling relationships at a young age. There are many that, because of worldly examples, are convinced that it is sport to be in rivalry with one's brothers and or sisters, but in fact, protection is the honorable virtue one should demonstrate from the heart for their family.

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Justice
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Fears and Tears

How does you think the Lord feels about the term 'dysfunctional family' being one that people are eager to use as a conversation piece? Be very careful of the enemy when he tries to plant seeds of destruction in the mind under the guise of normalcy and in harmony with what the world finds acceptable and/or sometimes even humorous.

You can tell by Amnon's behavior, that his conscience (or his subconscious mind) was seared by his actions. He could have chosen to humble himself and repent for his sin, but his pride (which is another tool of the devil's, but also an act of choice) overcame him and convinced him to abhor his sister, who moments ago he loved to the point of infirmity!

Sin has a way of multiplying if the sinner doesn't choose humility. Those who are predators know this as well as their victims. This is such a shameful thing in the minds of both, that in most cases, it is never spoken of by either the predator or the victim and oft times it happens repeatedly, because the enemy knows how to manipulate the predator into a cycle of lust, performance, self-disgust, pride, justification, then lust again.

The victim on the other hand most of the time wrestles with fear and shame, never telling anyone and usually blaming God and/or despising their own beauty and blame themselves as well for attracting their attacker, many times allowing it to occur again without protest because of fear and other reasons and detesting the feeling of uncleanness.

It is such an heart-rending tragedy, yet the enemy convinces the predator to continue to pursue this cycle, and the victim to submit, and lives are defiled over and over again. If you have found yourself a predator or a victim, ask for the strength and wisdom of God to overcome. Do not settle for allowing it to continue. If you are a victim and are being threatened, the Lord may guide you to a source of protection outside your home.

Sin of Amnon and Tamar Bible Study
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Tragedy

Forgiveness is another issue that must be addressed. The effect that incest has on each person that it happens to, is so individual that nobody but the Lord could possibly know how to bring about complete healing from such an experience. With that in mind, who better to confide in when faced with the task of forgiving the seemingly unforgivable, than Christ?

Does being forgiving mean trusting that you'll be secure in the presence of your former predator? Must you be all lubby dubby with them once you've forgiven? These are questions to ask the Lord in prayer. Trust only in His answer. Open your heart to Him. If you would like confidential Christian guidance and would like to get on the path to healing, you'll find peace with C-O-O-L Confidential Christian Counseling, and it's free for anyone who wishes to overcome not only incest, but any problem.

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study on Sad David
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Loss

Now, back to our story. When king David heard of everything that happened, he was angry, but he did nothing about it. (Perhaps, knowing first hand how strong temptation can be, he didn't feel the right to judge his son for something he himself could not control not long ago.

Not only that, but do you suppose David was feeling more than a twinge of guilt that maybe his bad example may have been instrumental in bringing this all about? What a befuddling situation for all involved.) Absalom showed no outward sign of emotion toward Amnon, neither good nor bad, but disdained him at heart because he raped his sister.

After two years had passed, Absalom was going to shear sheep in Baal-hazor, and he invited king David and all his brothers to join him. David himself declined the invitation but Absalom convinced David with much urging, to let all the brothers go along.

Now secretly, Absalom commanded his servants, "When Amnon gets drunk, and when I give you the word, don't be afraid of anything, just go and kill him. And Absalom's servants killed Amnon just as he commanded. Then all the king's sons jumped on their mules and got outta Dodge.

As the rest of Absalom's brothers were on their way back to Jerusalem, David heard the news that Absalom had killed all the king's sons and there was no one still alive. The king got up, tore his clothes and lay on the ground. All his servants stood near him with their clothes torn as well. You must imagine that David must have felt exceedingly grieved now, since he allowed Amnon to go to the shearing, with the odds of Absalom taking vengeance on his brother a very possible conclusion.

And Jonadab (remember, Amnon's buddy), said to David, "Don't believe that all the king's sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead. Ever since he forced himself on Tamar, Absalom has been planning a day to kill him." (E-gads.) When the watchman saw many people coming up the hill toward the city, Jonadab said to the king, "Look, the king's sons have returned just like I said." They arrived, lifted up their voices and cried. The king and his servants wept bitterly.

Amnon and Tamar Bible Study Conclusion
Absalom and Amnon in the Bible Summary

David mourned for Amnon every day and Absalom ran away, taking refuge with Talmai, the king of Geshur. Talmai was Absalom's granddaddy on his mamma's side of the family (2 Samuel 3:3). He remained there for three years. Over time, David accepted Amnon's death and his soul longed to see Absalom.

The Prophecy that Nathan told to David was true ... Conflict within David's own family had indeed come to pass. Wondering when or if Absalom may come home? Make sure to come back tomorrow and find out, right here at Daily Bread!

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