Christianity Oasis Forum

[Amaia]

Humm I have failed to do the step 8 but I needed time to process all the information and all the things that God is telling me. I read the steps and every time I understand more things from the Bible. I am amazed. I have started with the "Miracle Grow" chart and still need to improve more.

As my husband has started working with me, He is doing what I was doing before and now I am learning to do other tasks and taking more responsabilities which is a bit overwhelming. But I feel I need to look towards God and ask Him for help and peace. He is the only one who can help me.
I am learning to be patient with my husband and to treat him well at work. Sometimes, I find it difficult but I think we'll learn a lot and I have to work with him. All this is a very strange situation for me. It is a pity we don't have much time to serve in Church.

I am eager to learn more and see how God can help me.

[Amaia]

I have been organizing the Miracle Grow chart and still it is difficult to accompish everything.
I need to renew my mind every day as I'm fighting against critizing my husband. He doesn't do anything bad really, but the arrows of the Enemy are coming and I find it really difficult to think in good things.[/color]

I am a bit tired of work as I have been working a lot these days and learning new things as my husband learns too. I hope to feel better next week or at least more comfortable doing my new tasks.

Tomorrow and on Saturday we will be having an Evangelism in my city and I am curious about what God is going to do. I don't feel ready to share my life with others but God knows...

God bless you all.

[Amaia]

It is so difficult for me to "weed" my mind... Today the Enemy has been sending me those awful messages about my husband. He has been doing that for long. The tools that I have learnt in this study have helped me. I try to pray, be quiet and tell me God's truth in those moments, but it is painful. Very painful. Am I the only one fighting against this?

I have decided to fight bad with good but when things are painful it is very easy for me to let me lead by my feelings. For example, when my husband stays long hours in front of the computer. I know many wives complain about their husbands in front of the TV, mine is the computer. I feel really lonely those times, which are every day. I have told him already about how painful it is for me, how lonely I feel. He knows, but he carries on. And I can have a go very easy due to this. What's the point of getting angry? Upset about it? So, I turn to God (thank God for those amazing worship songs my church gave me) and pray, and cry and ask for help, and praise... Bible says, "resist the Devil and he will flee from you", I am waiting to live that.

Yesterday, my husband had a nightmare in which we were quarreling and I had also those awful thoughts about him. I told him that I hadn't slept well like him and I decided to fight bad with good. I wanted to go sunbathing before going to work but we needed God so I asked him if he wanted to pray with me. We did it and as always the Holy Spirit gave me a vision about us (how needy we were) and I prayed and cried. We both felt better afterwards and I didn't follow those awful arrows against my husband. Still, we don't pray oftenly together, only when I really feel it and ask for it which is something that makes me really sad and it is painful.

These are a few of my "pains". Pain that I need to give to God and forgive. Every day. I hope some day be free of them or maybe see how God changes my husband...

Today we couldn't do the evangelism due to the rain. I felt really sad about that, but God knows. However, this city needs God and I can see the pain. People die every day and when I think of that, I can't but desire evangelism.

Thank God I AM HIS DAUGHTER . God bless HIS children.

[Amaia]

Thank God I could go to church today and praise HIM and listen to his word. I really needed it. It has been really interesting and the Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to other things about my marriage. As I was reading the study today, I felt it was very similar to the preaching. Just surrender, and let our will be like God's will.

I only can thank God for HIS truth, wisdom and patience. I really don't want to move forward until I revise and redo the previous steps as I feel I am moving too fast and I need to digest all the information. So I might reread the previous steps in the following days. I don't really want to stop the study now.

Thank you God!!

[Dora]

Hi sis. There's no way to digest everything in this study. I suggest you keep going through the steps but to go back and refresh as you can.

[Amaia]

Thanks Pine for your encouragement. I think I'll really need to revise all again.

Yesterday, at work, my husband got really crazy at me because I corrected him and when he did something wrong I got angry. God knows I didn't want to make an issue of that, and I was ready to say sorry and just carry on, but when I tried to explain he just got mad at me. I couldn't believe it. I only could see pride on him. At home I would have reacted in a different way but at work, he has only been working for almost two weeks... I really don't want to tell him anything else about work, I know that if he does things wrong, I will be blamed for that.
He doesn't talk to me at all and I don't know what to do I said sorry already, every time I have tried in the past, we just started quarreling again. And I can't but cry, I can't believe how he can live with all this and carry on playing games and reading on the computer.

The study today was very comforting. I have to get up and carry on. I know that only Jesus can help us and my only desire now is that my husband will want to fight with me against our enemys not against me.

[Amaia]

I did the study few days ago but I didn't have the time to go chatting and when I've been nobody was there but at least, I could help a lady at Church who needed to talk a lot and I was there to listen. My husband and I decided to help her. Actually, it was him and I followed which was good but still we carry on messing up everything. Our relationship isn't great but at least I see more clearly some of the problems. I don't have the answers though. He keeps critizing me every time I am vulnerable and I just want to run away. I am not proud of my behaviour, but the way we do things just get things worst. I can't stop thinking that the only thing we need is God. SIMPLE!! But how? I keep praying, reading the Bible, going to church, I keep bowing down before God, I ask HIM to help me being the wife I have to be... and trying to wait in HIM. Maybe I should let things go, stop worring if we are not in love, or being respectful or if we are not the marriage I would love to be. I just feel we're wasting our lives and I really want to start living as a commited couple with God. I'm writting too much now... Many times I have tried to be the wife I should no matter how was my husband just love and love and love... but at the end I messed up.

I called a sister the other day after all that situation at work. She told me to say sorry no matter how my husband was. So I did. But he didn't say a word a part from telling me that he wasn't angry at me. Thanks God for that. He has been very sad and it was difficult for him to repent. I've been praying for him a lot, I see how needy he is of God. I know how much God has for him. It is painful.

I have seen there's a study about "Virtuous Wife". I'm a bit fed up of reading books about the topic and feeling I don't like my husband or even love him, . Maybe I should have a look at those studies or the one about "Pride" sth that my husband and I have. He keeps telling me that and I keep feeling that on him.

[Dora]

There is a study called Love and Respect. It helped me to see what my spouse needed and showed him what I needed. It wasn't a fix all but it sure sounds like the advice in that study could help.

If you are interested it's by Dr Eggerich