Christianity Oasis Forum

[thisisme84]

I'm scared. I've prayed for a guy for many many years (since I was 11 I've been praying for my future husband; I'm 30 now) and now I think I know who the guy God has for me is. But maybe I'm wrong? I've been wrong about things before. I'm scared that this isnt God's will for me and that He's gonna pull the rug out from under me and ask me to be celibate for a long time...and that I will mess up and sleep with someone I don't love just due to sexual desire. it's been hard to keep from doing that! I have managed it (I'm a virgin) only because I thought for sure God had someone for me but if He doesn't than I'm not sure I can resist the temptation.

I would feel terrible if I did give in and sleep with someone :/ but I dont know how I could be celibate for life as some pastors have suggested maybe God wants for me. I'm not sure how to handle this situation.

I've never felt for anyone before the way I feel for this guy. and I've never wanted it to work out with any guy before this. I don't fall in love easily and this is a deep guy. He has his faults but his heart is in the right place; he daily seeks to be more and more like christ. It would hurt if I lost him. He has an attachment issue though (avoidant) and he is scared to get really close to me. I hope he doesn't give in to his fears and push away from me. I'm not sure if God wants him to face His fears and overcome this with me or someone else, but I hope it's me.

This is the first time I've been in love and I'm 30 so I don't see it happening again anytime soon. Besides that I don't really want someone else. This guy is everything I prayed for (minus the attachment problem).

I don't know what God's going to do and it's just very scary. Please don't say "Just have faith." People starve to death, are murdered, raped, etc. Faith doesn't stop it from happening. God may not intervene to send my a husband and may not intervene to help this guy heal who I love. Things could go bad and I have to be prepared for it. I have faith in God but I don't have faith He will do things He has not promised to do; I have faith He will do what He promised only.

[Mackenaw]

Hello thisisme84

God bless you this day and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I'm glad The Lord led you here, and I look forward to getting to know you.

While reading your post, it came to me that you are now the same age Christ Jesus was when the white dove landed upon His shoulder. No doubt, Christ Jesus was always Who He was and is, but, there was something about that day...the new beginning or enhanced portion of His ministry. That's pretty cool.

We humans don't like to be blindsided, so we take up our defenses, build our walls, and allow doubt to plague our dreams...well, because, no one likes to put it all out there and have faith to the fill, for fear we'll look the fool or get hurt if we don't consider all those "what ifs". Human nature vs. New nature in Christ. But, what if I fall? what if I make the wrong choice? what if...? We can drive ourselves insane or we can seek His counsel and believe Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man (or woman) are ordered by the Lord; and he delighteth in HIs way.

Those that seek The Lord, usually have a sense about them (a discerning) if they are just being reckless or rebellious, because The Holy Spirit is leading them into all Truth, and nudging and tugging at their heart. Thank You Holy Spirit. So, as His Word says...Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Thisisme84, you didn't mention whether or not you are reading the 14 Day Counseling (CCCC) Study, so if you are not, I encourage you to do so. I believe you will be blessed by it. Here is the link: http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[blueshine]

My dear friend..

I have been through the situation you mention. I do understand what you told us.. that is not easy and could be also painful....
unfortunately I stuck with the things I wanted... beliving that maybe that could be the best thing for me.. I fight with God long time... praying a lot..... until I did not have any more strenght and desires... .... unfortunately I wait so long.. so I had to cross all this painful way for long time.... you do not need to pass this long way... you could give up soonly and rest soonly in the Hand's of God..

My answer came when I stop to think in what I wanted or what I needed... ¿easy?!.. NOT AT ALL... but I started to realize how centered in me I was... and how many things were in my heart that were not so good for God... it has been a process...

You mention something really true:

You said:
" I have faith in God but I don't have faith He will do things He has not promised to do; I have faith He will do what He promised only".

That is really true!, in the Bible we can see so many promises... as you said we must have faith in that Word. That could be the goal for all Christians... but our heart knows if this is really happening inside us or know..

Then let see what the Word of God said we have to do with our situations:

Firt of all the Word of God tells us:
1 Jhon 5:14-15 said: Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
This said clearly: according to HIS WILL... and Jesus also told us that HIS WILL IS GOOD, ACCEPTABLE AND PERFECT (Romans 12:2)

Our future only God Knows, and He said that He wants the best for us, His will is perfect.. .. He look for us...

But the big problem, why we just can rest on this Word of God at that is it.. is because our mind is full really full of information about what is good or what is bad in this world... the world fulls our minds with this kind of information through its novels, movies, music, shows, bad talks... etc, etc, etc,..

So we react in real life according with the information we have in our mind..... I mean that the world told us that we must be profesionals, have husband, have children, have good job, have a house, have car, have good times... and of course we have our minds full of this information and when in real life we do not have it.. we suffer... sooooo who told us that must be that way.... THE WORLD... BECAUSE THE WORD OF GOD TOLD US COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS

I told you this from my own experience, ... our mind is like a garden and we suffer so much for wordly things, if this happend, the most probably thing, is that our garden is with scrubs.. but at the time we suffer we do not see it.. ... we could have some good seeds.. but the scrubs are doing really bad inside...

So to discover what is the perfect will of God, is necesary follow the advice of the Apostle Paul:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

That is a process... to pull out the scrubs that the devil had put and to sow a Good seed in our mind.. but believe me... IT IS SO WORTHY...

I suggest you to follow the healing path
http://www.christianityoasis.com/cccc/forum.htm

You also could read this wonderful study:
Renew your mind:
http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... urMind.htm

God bless you my friend. I pray that the will of God must be done in your life as you are His daughter

Blueshine

[Shan]

Hello,

Since you put this on here I guess you are open to some honesty, I hope. What I say, I say with kindness and respect. I am going to be a little blunt tho and please understand it is my intention to advise not hurt. I prayed about this before writing this so my intentions are pure and godly and led of the Holy Spirit.

I am going to assume you are saved and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of your life. If I have assumed wrong then forgive me and I would be happy to talk to you more on that if you like.

Please take this kindly, I too understand what it's like to pray for and desire a husband.

In your post you wrote a few things that I want to draw to your attention that sounded off a WARNING to me and I'm extremely passionate about this subject.

You wrote, "I have managed it (I'm a virgin) only because I thought for sure God had someone for me but if He doesn't than I'm not sure I can resist the temptation."

Let me tell you something from experience of not waiting for God's will to be done in that area in my life. I REGRET it. You can never take that back. And that is not your's to give, it is God's and (I know you know this), every part of you belongs to Him and it is so wonderful that you have waited this long! That is to be praised! You lose your value as a woman my friend, if you give it away in sin and lust. Pray and Pray and Pray for God to give you His divine strength and power to stand up for that precious gift that only belongs to God and if He Will's your husband. Your chastity belongs to no other man except the one God gives to you if He will. Don't ever lower your guard until that blessed union is taken in vows with God Almighty, don't ever let satan have a foothold and no it's not easy but nothing worthwhile ever is and with God it's possible. The ROAD is very narrow, keep the walls high and the guards up.

Okay here comes some bluntness ...It sounds to me, you're saying if this isn't the guy God has destined you to be with then you might go out and have sex with whoever because the desire is strong, you're impatient and you don't believe and trust in God to give you what you NEED. You wrote, "I don't know what God is going to do and it's just very scary". TRUTH - God is so gracious and loving to those who have repented and accepted His Son as their Savior for their offering of their sins. TRUTH - What IS scary is what you might do and allow to happen because you don't know the Will of God. Get into His Word and remember who your first love is and if you've forgotten, repent and let Him remind you.

Last thing, I would suggest you being honest with whoever you allow to date or court you. Let them know you're looking for THE MAN and if their not looking for THE WIFE, then their never has to be an attachment and no hurt feelings or worse, sins being committed. When I started praying for my husband I was 22 and had two kids. When I met the man I married, I was very honest with him and told him I was looking for my husband, I was not going to date around, it was my desire to please God in that way because He had given me a second chance, Amen. My husband didn't run for the hills because he was a man of God and wanted a wife too, not a fling.

There are many examples in the bible of people taking situations in life into their own hands as if it belongs to us and the suffering they had to endure for not trusting God's will and timing. Don't allow that to be you in such a big area of your life. Better is one day in His courts then a thousand elsewhere. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord Almighty. (Psalm 84)

In Christ,
Shan