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Broken Trust

Postby Mercy7 » Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:38 am

Hi, thought I had a journal here, but i need to express my burdened heart and though that you all could uplift me if you understand. This is the only place I have truly been understood and never judged. I thank the Lord for this site and hope that I will go on until the return of Christ!!
Ok let me explain . From the beginning I had dozens of chats and It started as me trusting everyone and well so many people hurt me and then blamed me for their mistakes and lied. One time it was they said i was lying in not writing my sermons, well then lots of mean mean things and I have gotten through that until now that I feel I cannot trust anyone and they don't want me around. Everyone I have met besides in here said oh you wont get in trouble or be banned but in turn they banned me up until this past march fo something i didnt even do and accused of doing and that they are a pastor. I have tried to reconcile and ask to understand what they were staying but I see s many have come to them with rumors and gossip saying this or that , that i was lying n telling stories and well other sites I left couse of the trouble. God will judge them, But Its so hard that I cant just be myself, THey keep asking who I am and dont wanna take that Im a child of God or anything. Im afraid to say anything in that I will be banned again and again for just being myself and sharing Gods Word. Some of the old stuff when i was a troublemaker God asnswered prayer and reconciled . But I act right now and nothing I have done is wrong and I would know couse I prayed and asked God to show me and well I havent gotten any scriptures or anything that I have been, Im not a liar and I don't tell stories and I don't gossip about others. THey think they are all better than me and know more and can just put me down and they all werent talking to me or giving me hugs or just ignoring me altogether and then was banned out of bllue with no explanation etc. Just cant even trust a pastor or people that say they are anointed and well then saying your not anointed or a child of GOd or saying that Im not saved or not a christian etc. sigh. Just so hard dealing with this Ive dealt with it fr so long and lots of places I left and other places I just was banned and accused of lying and story telling and well just forced to share personal info and if i dont then i get in trouble. Was accused of doing this fr years and they never said a word--just banned me on te spot and right after i shared about being called to be a pastor--im not judging just sharing my feelings. Some chatters even forced me to answer questions that I didnt haveto and questions that they knew already and kept repeating. and no not like prayer or anyone here does with certain n questions these wre questions you all already know and can tell in your heart. Kept asking if I was saved and my story and my certificate and stuff---
I have asked God to show me any scripture or anything if this is true and well it isnt true so nothing has come through and I just want to reconcile and make things right and
know what it is that was going on maybe its just a misunderstanding, but she said I lied to her too--gees I never saw me lying. Thats just one incidense, there so many more from the past but this ones like from my birthday. and whats more is that other mods n chatters from those places are going to that last one and probably telling rumors and gosppiping about me still and I dont gossip or say things to people about others, well not that I know of.
Sigh I guess thats all I can put down on this journal from my brain. Ill just mope around here and hope it dont happen here. I just cannot trust anyone anymre except Jesus and well its just so hard to find Christians or so say called hemselfves Christians ac that way in ungodly ways--to call other believers and cgildren of God ungodly and not a christian and not a child of God and a lyer and so many mean things that I just cannot mention well its so much pain, Blessings to you all. see ya later

Rats and now silly thing earased all my words hmmm and I was putting down everything from my heart too:(
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Mercy7
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Re: Broken Trust

Postby Mackenaw » Thu Apr 28, 2011 5:17 pm

Hello Mercy *hug*

God bless you this day.

I'm sorry you are hurting, and I pray that The Lord heal any and all wounds of the heart. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

Mercy, we all have bad days, sometimes bad weeks, and for some...bad years. We are all human, and we all make mistakes -- every one of us. But, isn't it awesome that The Lord continues to reach out to us to heal us and to teach us better ways of dealing with disappointment and to carry on. Hallelujah!!!

The internet, while it can be used as a blessed tool to bring Christians together in the name of Jesus, it is also a tad bit harder to communicate than say face to face, because we don't have visuals to see body language or to hear voice inflections, etc. So, combine that with the usual difficulties in relating one to one, sometimes it can result in misunderstandings we did not expect or desire.

The Lord calls all of us to share The Good News of Christ Jesus. Whether our calling has the title of Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Preacher or Teacher, is not really that important to someone else, only between us and God. What is of great importance is the message we carry in our hearts of the saving grace of Jesus Christ, and the power of His love and forgiveness.

There are times when I've been in Chat, and something that was weighing heavy on my heart came to forefront of my mind, and suddenly I felt myself having less patience with others, not wanting to play, or not wanting to listen to what they were saying, or even getting annoyed by what they were saying. In looking back later, I found that what they were saying was not annoying at all, but to my "mood" at that time, it was. See what I mean??? For me, it's just better if I take a break, pray and come back to Chat later, after The Lord has renewed me.

We are saved by His blessed grace, and we are to extend grace to others. Forgive quickly and love deeply.

Remember hurt feelings scream for vengeance. God says, vengeance is Mine. So anytime you are feeling hurt, give it to God, and ask that He comfort you and renew you, knowing He will do so because He loves you and desires that you walk in His love.

God bless and keep you, Mercy.
Love,
Mack
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Mackenaw
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Re: Broken Trust

Postby Mercy7 » Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:37 pm

Mackenaw, TY sis for caring about me, your message meant a lot
I wantedto update you on this matter becouse the day i posted it I was so burdened and well I started Praise the Lord and He sent me a song in my heart that said-- Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there, If you trust and never doubt He will surely bring you out, take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there. And so now today I decided to talk to that person, And well I mentioned about the matter and It was all forgiven and well she said she sent email but musta been a glitch but oh well everythings ok now--and i feel so much lighter and better. Becouse God answered my prayer. Just as I asked. Although I cannot deal with whats done in the past, I can know that some are forgiven and some are asking God t forgive them. Especially when it was the persecution stuff with the saying im not a child of God etc. ANyways I just wanted to update my journal.
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Re: Broken Trust

Postby stillstanding » Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:49 pm

Mercy7 wrote:Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there, If you trust and never doubt He will surely bring you out


wooooooooot! *Clap*

isnt our God just soooooooooooo awesome *BigGrin*

love u mercy *hug*
i am stillstanding...saved delivered and healed.
Gal 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
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