Christianity Oasis Forum

[xxJILLxx]

This is a pic of God's Word, bridging the gap between generations. God, me and "Francesca"

God bless!
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

thank u ciny , keep pushing through! Thanks for reading and the encouragement!

God bless
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

I am so in need of Your presence
That i bow before You now
I pour my vile of worhsip over You

I bring to You a humble sacrifice
I pour out my heart
and i give You my life
I offer up to you Lord
this costly gift
My love i confess

May it be a pleasing fragrance
that i bring to you o lord
I am so in need of Your presence
that i bow before You now
May it be a pleasing fragrance that i bring
to You o Lord
i am so in need of Your presence
that i bow before You now

I pour my vile of worship over You
I want to take my passion and put in a bottle
just to break it at your feet
i take my afections and put them in a bottle
just to waste them at Your feet

I dont want to talk about You like Your not in the room
I want look right at You , wanna sing right to You
I dont want to talk about You like Your not in the room
I want to look right at You, wanna sing right to You
Wanna look right at You, wanna sing right to You

Sing right to you Sing of Your beauty right to You
Sing of Your goodness
Sing of Your majesty
Sing of Your beauty
Sing of Your mercy
Jesus

Francesca is a fighter, she has taught me in many manners, to fight what we feel is right. Dont let down. Its all about motives. If my motive is good and to please my Father then why do i worry about other things. He knows my heart in all matters, thats what counts. I am moving beyond that now, not playing victim NO MORE. I am a fighter! I am a victor! Through Christ of course! Not on my own power, far be from it! I can do nothing without Him. I love Him.

I am still stuck in my weaning process, still scared to take that next step, which would me make totally off the medication. I have come far with the help of Him. I am down to 1/4 of what i was taking when i started. And trust me, my anxiety level has been increased as of late. Misunderstandings and confrontations i do not like. But I am pushing through. I have held my ground.

I am stepping away for a little bit so i can heal, it is too much pressure on me. The little time i do get to be here i end up frustrated, and that is not good for me at this time of weaning. I enjoy my work i do for the Lord at my job and am more successful at it there.

I finished my first afghan Am working on my next one, this one is for my 95 year old grandfather, am going to use it as a gift of gapping over prejudices and differences of standpoints. I admire that man, 95 years old still driving his pick up around town Our last convo was not good and i want to make peace, before its too late.

God bless
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

Took some time to get myself together.
Sometimes i need to do that and will continue to do so as needed.

Watched a video today of a man who pulled his hamstring in the race, he was in so much pain. The medics come with a stretcher. He refuses the stretcher and gets up to finish the race. Hobbling down the track with anguish in his face. Then his father comes down from the stands and he offers his arm and shoulder to steady the sons weight. The father walks with him to the finish line. Once he got to the finish line the father let him cross the line to a sum of 65,000 people cheering him on with a standing ovation. What brought the father out of the stands to come to his boy's aid?

The anguish of pain on his son's face?

Father you are so beautiful in all your ways.

Hurt my back at work... took the day off.

"Francesca" She is still with us. Got to spend time with her this weekend. I sang over her and she slept like a baby. How precious she is to Him. Oh my she is such a fighter! God bless her soul. Made a reach out to a few more residents over the past couple days. Still some more there i need to reach to, His timing. We have a new lady, she is sweet.

This is a hard transition for them to make. Most of them come from their own homes and feel that they lost their independence. Many fall into depression upon coming in. It is our job to make the transition smooth and comfortable. To make them feel wanted and loved.

Started back at step one.

I admitted i was powerless over others - that my life had become unmanageable.

I am responsible for stopping my own pain, facing and dealing with my own fears, saying no, giving myself what i need, setting boundaries i need to set, and making choices and decisions i need to make to take care of myself- in any circumstance or situation.

I am not a victim.

When i accept powerlessness, i become empowered to take care of myself.
Detach from fear. Detach from the need to control. Let myself be. Stop trying so hard and doing so much, when doing so much doesn't work. Love and accept myself, as is, no matter what my present circumstances.

God bless and keep u all
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

Here is a Jill's TIP of the day.... kinda cute and funny.

DO NOT watch Titanic movie with people who suffer from dementia!

Oh my what a fiasco we had yesterday!!!! One of our gentlemen who has dementia kept pushing his wristband call button becasue we were in a submarine SINKING!

I said ELMER stop pushing that button! By the time i get back from disarming the button in his room, he pushed it again... this went on and on! "we are sinking the water is coming in!!!!" He shouts. We were all going to die. Finally he threw the call button at me and said "Here take it, Im going to die anyways!! Its not working!!"

This went on for about a half hour! It was crazy and i couldnt get no wrk done! Looking back now its kinda funny, but wasnt at the time.



♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

Spent a good 17 hrs with "Francesca" last evening and through the night to early this morning.

We had a good time listening to big band music and she was a bit more talkative than usual. She is eating very well. As i was putting her in bed last nite She said "Miss?" i said " yes dear?" She said "Goodnite." and smiled from ear to ear. Made my heart melt at that very moment. Just a simple expression says volumes to my soul. It was the word with the huge smile of gratitude and love it was coupled with.

After she got settled and comfortable in her bed, rubbing her eyes... she rested and i let her know i was just in the next room and would be right there if she needed me. She smiled again and nodded in confidence that i was there.

Oh how that relates to our Father. Hes right there, to comfort us, to pick up our chin and look us in the eye and say you are my daughter. Keep your chin up, ya hear? Pat us on the back and say I'm right here if u need me hunny. Please dont hesitate to ask me for anything, It is my pleasure to be here for you. I want you to be comforted knowing i am just an earshot away. I want you to ask me for help and i want your goodnights and smiles of confidence in me. I want your childlike faith in Me.

He is teaching me many things about myself that i was not aware of. He knows EVERYTHING about me. And if He sees fit that a certain part of me is not working correctly then he gently guides me to show what it is that needs removed. THE best Dad ever.

God bless
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

Refine me O Lord

set Your flame upon my heart
consume me
Send Your wind
breath Your fire
Spirit burn within

Learning to let go... sad to say but the only way I learn to let go is by and through experience.

They increased "Francesca's" medication. My soul does not agree with this. My soul says let her be and let God take her, naturally.

Maybe this is His will, only God knows.
Who am i to say what is and isnt His will.

Accepting this is hard for me and i get downright frustrated. I have to trust in Him who crossed my path with hers. I cannot control this situation. Step my big ole foot out of the way and let God do His work.

Its hard for me to stand by and watch something that i dont agree with... but nevertheless I am standing by in prayer and trying to detach myself from the bitter feelings i have for those who are administering and ordering the increase of meds. My mind says "They just want her die and get it over with" My heart says "Jill, TRUST that i have this, that I almighty God am in control." My Spirit says " I release, Lord."

You are lovely Jesus
All consuming fire.
All Glory
All Honor
All Power
Belong to You.

♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

H.O.W.

HONESTY

OPEN MIND

WILLINGNESS

Any man can spoil himself for himself. He can allow himself to grow so sensitive that he lives in constant pain. He can nurse his grudges until they are an intolerable burden. He can think himself insulted until he is apt to be. He can believe the world is against him until it is. He can imagine troubles until they are real. He can hold so many under suspicion that no one believes in him. He can insult his friends until they are no longer friends. He can think himself so important that no one else does. He can have such a good opinion of himself that no one else enjoys his friendship. He can become so wrapped up in himself that he becomes very small.

- Anon. -

Take One Day at a Time

It has been well said, that no man ever sank under the burden of the day.

It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than one can bear.

- MacDonald.

[xxJILLxx]

Last nite we went to my first CODA meeting. Drove an hour to get there, well worth the trip.

I met a bunch of wonderful people, and wow their life stories and experiences give me so much hope. There encouragement was awesome and so was their love and acceptance. I fit right in.

Last nite was a step 10 meeting. And discussion was on boundaries.
Perfect!

Boundaries?? whats that?? Well i learned i can set boundaries with the persons i love and others, but i should not build walls. I can say NO! And not worry about a person being mad at me for saying no. That's their problem not mine. I can help them understand why I am saying no if they ask, but i dont have to do that either. My choice. They dont like it?? Tuff! Deal with it. Thats between them and their God. Im walking here with my God.

Also learning detachment with Love. If i feel a certain situation is causing me to lose my serenity and my peace of mind i can detach from that situation or person in love That way i dont have to make ammends later. ( a shortcut if u will, cause i simply dont like to make to make ammends, id rather get it done right the first time and move to higher ground)

Now that i know how to set boundaries i can try my best to get this family back on track.

The enemy comes to steel kill and destroy.

God bless
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

~Change me~

Take this heart right out of me
Strip away all that You see that doesnt look like u my King

My life's pointless without change, take this moment to re-arrange all the dreams inside of me

cause i desire to look like You
i desire to look like You

to look like You
Would you change me to look like You?
Would you change me to look like You?



So much has been going on, sometimes i dont know which way is up or down. But i know He knows the best path for me to take. Trusting Him to lead me to where He wants me. It has been a time of trial and testing. My hope and my life is in the best care... His. I love my King. He is with the broken. His right arm keeps me afloat in the midst of the storms. I am so thankful for Him. Nothing compares to Him.

What is hope to me?

Hope, to me at this moment, is knowing that He wants the very best for my family. My loved ones. His children.

God bless
♥Jill

[sbennett]

I loved reading your post....change me. In this jouney I am on I have not really thought of wanting God to change me...who I am. Well geez.....If HE does the changing it would be awesome!! Thanks for bringing that to my thoughts.

God is with you in all your troubles...and you are in my prayers. May God give you strenght wisdom and peace each day.

[xxJILLxx]

Humbling...

Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.
Mother Teresa

Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
John Wooden

Thinking on these today

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10

God bless
♥Jill