Christianity Oasis Forum

[anne marie]

Hello
I am new to this site and am in desperate need of help.
I found out this past June that my husband had been involved in an affair and i am having such a hard time coping with it.
He has expressed remorse, tells me he no longer sees the woman and is trying to be reassuring and make amends. He also struggles with addiction problems and states he does not think he can give up his addictions. I am afraid having an affair is just another addiction and it will happen again.
I am having a hard time forgiving him though I know I must for both of us. I think i am afraid to forgive him because I am afraid to be so badly hurt again. I have never felt such pain and devastation. I did read through the counseling section here on forgiveness and found it helpful.
We are currently not living together and i believe this makes it harder for me to cope. He does wish to come home, but again, I am so afraid.
I am afraid to be with him and afraid to be without him.
has anyone have any advice for me?? I would so greatly appreciate it.
I forgot to mention that we have been married for 23 years, have 3 beautiful kids and are of differing faiths.

[vahn]

Hello anne marie

Welcome to the Oasis

As the name suggests , it is an oasis from the emotional whirlwind you found yourself in the middle of .

Infidelity , plus , not wanting to give up addiction equals not so good of a combination , and it does lay a heavy load on our spiritual well being , it practically pulls us away from our very beliefs and faith , and if not dealt with , we may even lose our way back .

The best thing to do , in my opinion , based on my personal experience , is first to detach ourselves from the "problem" (yes it is hard to do , but , in your case as you mentioned , you are doing that already , it is just the fact that "he wants to come back" ) I wouldn't fall for it as of yet . First regroup yourself spiritually - differing faiths is no help - focus on what area of your life is being effected most , mend that strengthen yourself there , then , if God sees it fit , He will supply the means of how to handle the situation to the best interest of ALL parties involved . That is what the steps of this 14 day program help us do .

there will be others coming along to help out as well , for right now keep your focus on Him who will solve your problem rather than focusing on him that caused the problem to begin with .

Once again , welcome aboard , you are in the right place .


In Christ , our Lord
vahn

[Mackenaw]

Hello Anne Marie

Welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I'm sorry for your pain. But, Good News!!! The Lord can heal that pain.

Anne Marie, we are taught by the world that once hurt to be wary from that point forward, and not to trust or we'll be the fool. Anne Marie, sadly that is wrong. We can forgive and move on in love, and actually be happy.

I'm sending up prayers for you, in the name of Jesus. God's will be done.

I don't know if you have considered doing the 14-Day Christian Counseling Study, but I highly recommend it. It has helped many, many, many -- including myself. Here's the link:
http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

I hope to hear more from you and see you around the site.

God bless and keep you.
In Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[anne marie]

thank you so much.
I will begin the 14 day counseling offerred here.
I feel so much better with a direction.

[ciny]

Hi AnnMarie welcome to oasis thanks for shrin with us i know how hard it is to share with others and sorry for the pain you are experiencing this is a great place to heal from our hurts and to grow in the Lord Jesus to gether.see you around in Chatt rooms and the forums can't wait to see what God is going to do in your life.
God bless Ciny

[anne marie]

Thank you Ciny
I look forward to talking with you as well.
I am so happy to have found this site.
It is wonderful to have people to connect with.
Have a beautiful day Ciny
anne marie