This is how I came to my Father
Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:25 pm
Hello Ev-1;
I welcome you here and I thank you for reading what I have to post. I have never really written down my testismony, even tho I have told this to many. So please bare with as I try to go through this.
I came to my Father and Lord on April 4 of 2006. This was my last time that I used any drugs that day. I had been doing drugs and alcohol for over thirty years of my live. I started out with just a little bit back when I was 14. Slowly though the years my usage went up and down do to my finances that I had for that year.During this time I seen allot of my friends that I knew of died from their usage. Some of these people were very close and some not so close, but all of them friends no matter what.
Ever lost I can remember that it brought all of us close, but only close enough to get a party together to mourn their passing. Just a poor excuse for a party I later seen in life. I stayed on this ramped rampage for years.Then I reached my adult years and this trend just got worse. When I moved in to a new town I thought that this would help me. Well old treats always find their ways home. Military got me started on a right path, but I found out that there was more to have in there then on the streets and I was just all to willing to partake in this new experiment. Now I will just fast forward intop my thirties, because everything was just a repeat of the start.
I remember this day very will I was living by myself in a different town. One of the guys that I worked with got in to a very bad wreck, in which he almost died. I spent the next two days cleaning the paper work out the truck. I went through so much blood that it made me very ill to think about it. Then I thought about want he was enduring and I felt worse for his family and him. One month later the other gentlemen that I worked with in this store died from an alcohol related accident. Officers at the seen that we knew, and spoke to afterwards said that he never realized what had hit him. We buried him three days prior to this conversation. When I had found out the night of his death I engulfed myself in a fifth of whisky, and feeling the need to go on I placed a 45 in my mouth and pulled the trigger. To this day I can only say the only reason why I am here is beyond me.
Time to jump forward again. I survived that and still had no reason to quit what I was doing. At times I had slowed down, but never stopped.I lost my job through a dirty drug drop in, or around 2000. I could only keep my job if I went throuhg a rehab group. I took the hint and I had my sobriety for 11 months and 3 days. Then yes I fell off the wagon. I went back to what I had been taught thinking that this was the only way of live. Only way that I knew of that is.
I got really heavy into the drugs and I just keep getting deeper. On one weekend end the oppetunity presented itself again. I combined the drugs that I was using, mostly cocaine, and meth, with a hand full of depressants. For good measures I added alcolhol to wash everything down with. Then during one episode I saw a glisp of me in the mirror. I could not even look at myself, and I knew that I needed help.
I have prayed before, but never like that night. That night I gave everything to my Father and asked for His will in mine. It is no longer what I need to do, but now what I can do For.
I got back into my A.A. and started attending church. I know just did not hear the words, but I lived through the words. Through the help of my Father and my friend here and abroad, I have retained my sobriety for 2 years. I am thankful for being saved now for the same amount of time. I am moving into the direction that I need to and everyday my father leads me .
Thank You Everyone and thank you Father for my gift of today.
I welcome you here and I thank you for reading what I have to post. I have never really written down my testismony, even tho I have told this to many. So please bare with as I try to go through this.
I came to my Father and Lord on April 4 of 2006. This was my last time that I used any drugs that day. I had been doing drugs and alcohol for over thirty years of my live. I started out with just a little bit back when I was 14. Slowly though the years my usage went up and down do to my finances that I had for that year.During this time I seen allot of my friends that I knew of died from their usage. Some of these people were very close and some not so close, but all of them friends no matter what.
Ever lost I can remember that it brought all of us close, but only close enough to get a party together to mourn their passing. Just a poor excuse for a party I later seen in life. I stayed on this ramped rampage for years.Then I reached my adult years and this trend just got worse. When I moved in to a new town I thought that this would help me. Well old treats always find their ways home. Military got me started on a right path, but I found out that there was more to have in there then on the streets and I was just all to willing to partake in this new experiment. Now I will just fast forward intop my thirties, because everything was just a repeat of the start.
I remember this day very will I was living by myself in a different town. One of the guys that I worked with got in to a very bad wreck, in which he almost died. I spent the next two days cleaning the paper work out the truck. I went through so much blood that it made me very ill to think about it. Then I thought about want he was enduring and I felt worse for his family and him. One month later the other gentlemen that I worked with in this store died from an alcohol related accident. Officers at the seen that we knew, and spoke to afterwards said that he never realized what had hit him. We buried him three days prior to this conversation. When I had found out the night of his death I engulfed myself in a fifth of whisky, and feeling the need to go on I placed a 45 in my mouth and pulled the trigger. To this day I can only say the only reason why I am here is beyond me.
Time to jump forward again. I survived that and still had no reason to quit what I was doing. At times I had slowed down, but never stopped.I lost my job through a dirty drug drop in, or around 2000. I could only keep my job if I went throuhg a rehab group. I took the hint and I had my sobriety for 11 months and 3 days. Then yes I fell off the wagon. I went back to what I had been taught thinking that this was the only way of live. Only way that I knew of that is.
I got really heavy into the drugs and I just keep getting deeper. On one weekend end the oppetunity presented itself again. I combined the drugs that I was using, mostly cocaine, and meth, with a hand full of depressants. For good measures I added alcolhol to wash everything down with. Then during one episode I saw a glisp of me in the mirror. I could not even look at myself, and I knew that I needed help.
I have prayed before, but never like that night. That night I gave everything to my Father and asked for His will in mine. It is no longer what I need to do, but now what I can do For.
I got back into my A.A. and started attending church. I know just did not hear the words, but I lived through the words. Through the help of my Father and my friend here and abroad, I have retained my sobriety for 2 years. I am thankful for being saved now for the same amount of time. I am moving into the direction that I need to and everyday my father leads me .
Thank You Everyone and thank you Father for my gift of today.