Pretending to be "NORMAL"
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:32 pm
I spend everyday trying to pretend nothing is wrong with me. I have Narcolepsy, Seizures, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Bipolar, Major Depresion, and due to a complicated stomach surgery I have to take protien supplements because my body does not absorb protien any more. I try to pretend nothing is wrong. Two weeks ago I had a Grand Ma seizure and broke a tooth. It has taken me this long to get better. My speech gets slurred for awhile and I feel like I have been beaten by a baseball bat all over. As if my seizures are not a major road block (I am stuck being driven around again). My Diabetes is causeing problems with my kidneys again. I don't want to share this with my family because they worry enough about me and treat me like they don't want me to live on my own. I understand thier concern. My sugar dropped in March and I went head first off the porch and was unconscience when my kids came home. I hate my body for turning against me. I used to work 60 hours a week and go to law school. One day out of the blue I started haveing Narcolepsy and within a few months my seizures started.I lost my job because "Narcolepsy and Seizures must ciest immediantly". Like I didn't try. I spent weeks in the hospital trying to find the right medicine. Now I am on Disability and live day to day with blanks. The problem is I never know if it is Narcolepsy, or Peteite Ma seizures. I get so frustrated I wonder why God put all of this on me. I know the old saying God never gives you more than you can handle. I think he has me confused with the girl down the street. I NEED PRAYERS. I am afraid a day will come when I get so frustrated with pretending I will give up on God.