Christianity Oasis Forum

[goldieluvs]

Life has been real chaotic lately. I have been telling a roommate that he has to be out by end of June. (various reasons). He has asked me to not take out eviction papers and that he would leave by then. He has verbally threatened me if i go through the court system.

Now i have been very nasty to him lately saying horrible things (some aren't true, some i have meant). I feel bad making him leave as he has no job and no where to go beyond homeless shelter but i am totally worn out from dealing with him and his verbal outbursts and not helping with household chores without alot of arguing. Not to mention that i can't have family over as they would be upset that i let this person back in. He has no vehicle which means if he even did get job next week i would be transporting him back and forth in addition to doing my job and in trying to keep some semblance of order in my home. I am dependent on him in ONE way only. It has to do with my injured dog. She is too heavy for me to get her outside by myself. She is able to walk some and is using her leg more, but i am not willing to risk her trying to get up and down steps. IDK if she will ever be able to completely heal. So she is carried in and out on a blanket.

He says he is going to get a job Monday (oh how many times i have heard this over the past several months.) I wasnt quite sure where to post this, but have come to the conclusion that i am codendent. I cannot fix him. I know this even in my heart, but i will always care about his wellbeing. I have told him that along with that i cannot continue having him live here. He says not to involve the law and that he will be out by end of June and although i want to believe i can count on him to keep his word, he has shown time and time again that that simply is not the case.

I know this is a lil one sided as i am sure he sees things differently. I have not shown a Christian response at all in this whole situation. But i also know in my heart that i have to get him out sooner or later. I have thought about giving him til end of June and if he is not out then following through with eviction papers when i get paid in July. But what i really want is for him to leave. So, now i am faced with wether or not to wait and see if he actually leaves as i did give my word that he had until end of June to get out. I dunno am just so tired of my home being in such discord. Ima praying for discernment, knowing that i am a fixer type person. My emotions are all over the place, from worry to so angry i just lash out verbally . It weighs heavy on my heart and mind. So, not wanting to admit just how miserable things have been, i have stayed away from here feeling like i should know what to do. I have been told to tell God that i don't know what to do and ask Him to take over and i tried that and he got a job then was fired three weeks later and has been on the couch for over a month now and am again to point i cannot take it anymore.

Admitting this is hard as i simply want it all to go away but i think it means having to take things on after trying to leave it with God. I have no energy left to come in and try to help others at this point. I am physically and emotionally drained. So im sorry i haven't been in like i used to. Cuz before this place was my sanctuary. And i grew and was more trusting of God and had a better outlook and i think walked better than i have recently.

I posted in emotion management primarily as my emotions are all over the place. I am just too tired to keep doing this. Something has to give. And while i don't wanna block God, i just want him out of my home. My dilemma is that i have not been Christian like at all. I just want this to be done and over with....Ok am just too tired to type anmore . Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Goldie

God bless you this day.

Awwwwww, Goldie, I'm so glad you have posted and are reaching out. You have been part of this family here at C.O. for over 3 years now, and you are loved and lifted up in prayers regularly, by many. May God's blessed will be done.

Goldie, I just want you to know, that I'm here for you, to lend and ear, and to lift you up in prayer.

Goldie, from what you have shared over the last 3 years -- with the exception of a short time period when your roommate did leave your home, when you first purchased your house, yet returned soon after -- your roommate has changed little. There is always a promise of a job, which either doesn't exist or he quits or loses said job within a few days or weeks. He promises to help out around the house, yet even those promises last only for a few days, weeks, then he stops.

Personally, I have little to no experience with drug or alcohol addiction, however, I've heard addicts confess that the addiction has them seek out others that will be their enablers. While you've been a friend to him, might you also have become his enabler?

I hope I have not offended you with what I've shared. I truly care about you, Goldie.

I continue to lift you, and your roommate, up in prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Goldie.
Love,
Mack

[Bugsy]

Goldie,
Even the scripture says, those that shall not work, shall not eat. (2 Thess. 3:10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”)

As I read your post, I thought about the mother eagle who knows it's time for her babies to leave the nest. She makes the nest very uncomfortable putting sharp sticks in the bottom so they won't be comfortable there any more. It forces them to leave the nest and make their own way in the world. Goldie, dear, it's past time for you to be gathering your sharp sticks. Although it looks like you're helping him . . . you're hindering him from standing on his own two feet.

And alot of things can happen between now and the end of June. He's probably hoping you'll soften up, change your mind by then. That's why he's saying he'll be out. (in my humble opinion) He knows you. And as you've already mentioned, you know him. His promises don't seem to hold much weight (if any at all).

Goldie, you mentioned you "can't fix him." You're absolutely right. Only the Lord can change his heart. That's the Lord's job, not yours. Definitely continue to pray for him. The Lord isn't going to leave him. He'll be working on his behalf.

Regarding your injured dog . . . since he's getting better, perhaps just guide him along, helping him lean on the legs that are strong.

Goldie, make whatever arrangements need to be made. Get whoever needs to be involved involved. Remove the chaos from your home . . . meaning get your home in order. Don't be cowered by his verbal threats. Then, when he's wherever he needs to be (homeless shelter or wherever), you can re-connect with God in the quiet haven of your home.

Blessings to you, Goldie. Bugsy

[goldieluvs]

mackles GBU sis, i am not offended. I actually came in to delete this post, but yall had already answered. yes, i am sure i am enabling and preventing whatever needs to occur to do that. Bugsy ur words ring true. I long for a quiet haven in my home and hope to soon attain that. In meantime,,, just am hanging in

mackles i have been here awhile and feel i should be so much farther along than i am. So, i do what i have done for years... run away. But that doesn't solve anything either. Im grateful for the prayers.

luv yall

[mlg]

Goldie,

My prayers are that you will be able to make righteous decisions with all the matters you have share. Looking at the big picture, remember your relationship with God must come first...and sometimes this means...having to make some changes in your life that you may not want to make...even when others maybe affected. And often these decisions are hard...but God will be with you no matter what...and He will bless you...if you continue to ignore the problems they won't go away...and they will continue to drag you on a broken path....so seek God and ask Him to help you through whatever it is that needs to be done.

Take care hun and luv ya