"It is much later than you think"
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 1:06 pm
Ah those words , how I cringed at them whenever I heard them , "It's much later than you think son" , I heard those words for a good part of twenty , continuous years , until of course my sponsor brought up the point that the reason I kept hearing them was because I kept saying "I'll get to that later" , so , now I had two things to cringe about , the other being my sponsor .
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous , in the chapter How it Works (Chpt 5) , it states "We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start" , an ominous warning that I failed to heed for many a year . The word BEG and the reason of , eluded me , and here I am , a little over 11 years of continuous sobriety later , I am typing something about it ... Why .
Well , lately I had just come to realize that my tolerance level with certain issues and personalities had been reduced to almost zero , and in turn being followed by periods of uneasy feelings wich yet led to downright aggravation and edginess , to the point of simultaneous "explosions" .
Deciding to do an inventory on the issue (suggested 10th step for recovery) I came across a very ... interesting (to say the least) "discovery" of a sort , which by the way is what prompted to share this with my fellows who might need to hear .
It has to do with helping others , "Now wait a minute " you might say . How can helping others lead to any such things you mentioned above ?
See , in order for me to gain confidence of the prospect (newbie) I have to first , of course give him something of my own experience to help him/her see the commonality of the grounds we are standing on , and , after that being established , we move on to the nitty gritty stuff (inventory-4th step) , now this is where the rubber hits the tar . Again , I only have my experience to go by (you can't transmit what you ain't got ... and , what you do got is the ONLY thing that you CAN and WILL transmit whether you like it , or not !!) -- well , lately , it seems , "anger" is what being transmitted -- But , what is it that I am "angry" about ? Hence the inventory .
What I "found out" was this . There were a lot of ... well , stuff .. that initially , I either set aside , brush off as "unnecessary" , or just simply said "I'll get to that later" . That "later" part had been knocking at my doorstep a lot lately , stemming from having to help a certain individual preventing later disaster in their life later on , and the only thing I got to go by is my own experience , and that experience is bringing me back to a good 35 years , and that my dear brothers and sisters is when I ENTERED HELL , and didn't get out until it was way too late !! That , is a place I did not , do not want to revisit , but will I ? Have no choice do I ?
Boomerang time , big time !!
"FEARLESS AND THOROUGH FROM THE VERY START --- WE BEG OF YOU"
It is MUCH later than we THINK .
In Christ , our Lord
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous , in the chapter How it Works (Chpt 5) , it states "We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start" , an ominous warning that I failed to heed for many a year . The word BEG and the reason of , eluded me , and here I am , a little over 11 years of continuous sobriety later , I am typing something about it ... Why .
Well , lately I had just come to realize that my tolerance level with certain issues and personalities had been reduced to almost zero , and in turn being followed by periods of uneasy feelings wich yet led to downright aggravation and edginess , to the point of simultaneous "explosions" .
Deciding to do an inventory on the issue (suggested 10th step for recovery) I came across a very ... interesting (to say the least) "discovery" of a sort , which by the way is what prompted to share this with my fellows who might need to hear .
It has to do with helping others , "Now wait a minute " you might say . How can helping others lead to any such things you mentioned above ?
See , in order for me to gain confidence of the prospect (newbie) I have to first , of course give him something of my own experience to help him/her see the commonality of the grounds we are standing on , and , after that being established , we move on to the nitty gritty stuff (inventory-4th step) , now this is where the rubber hits the tar . Again , I only have my experience to go by (you can't transmit what you ain't got ... and , what you do got is the ONLY thing that you CAN and WILL transmit whether you like it , or not !!) -- well , lately , it seems , "anger" is what being transmitted -- But , what is it that I am "angry" about ? Hence the inventory .
What I "found out" was this . There were a lot of ... well , stuff .. that initially , I either set aside , brush off as "unnecessary" , or just simply said "I'll get to that later" . That "later" part had been knocking at my doorstep a lot lately , stemming from having to help a certain individual preventing later disaster in their life later on , and the only thing I got to go by is my own experience , and that experience is bringing me back to a good 35 years , and that my dear brothers and sisters is when I ENTERED HELL , and didn't get out until it was way too late !! That , is a place I did not , do not want to revisit , but will I ? Have no choice do I ?
Boomerang time , big time !!
"FEARLESS AND THOROUGH FROM THE VERY START --- WE BEG OF YOU"
It is MUCH later than we THINK .
In Christ , our Lord