new to sos
Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 8:15 pmthis is my story.
from a small child, i was molested, even raped as a teen. the molestation went on for years, and i never told an adult. i was a very isolated child, and became bisexual, and promiscuious.
although i had good grades, i felt the only thing i was good for was sex. in many ways, every adult i ever knew failed me, and i learned to depend solely on myself. this added to my isolation. i was locked inside myself fearing that no one wanted to know me because i was not the party-girl, woman of loose moral character everybody wanted me to be.
i went thru two counseling programs on this site and GOD has given me freedom from the me i created and allowed the me HE wants me to be to come through.
my husband and i are leaving the swining lifestyle where after a drunken night of porn, we developed a fetish for him with other men.
he is unsaved and really struggles with leaving behind the trap of sexual immorality.
my problem is that it excites my flesh, and turns him on to do those things, to talk about doing them, to seek them out.
but after the flesh is satiated, the spirit is grieved. these things have become integral to our sex life. since he sees nothing wrong with it, i can only pray that GOD will clean up the marriage bed, and be pleased in our bedroom.
he will not ask me to be with other people anymore, but he says he can't give up wanting to have sex with other men. my flesh is so weak.
pray that i will be strengthened in the spirit by truly mortifying the deeds of the flesh
from a small child, i was molested, even raped as a teen. the molestation went on for years, and i never told an adult. i was a very isolated child, and became bisexual, and promiscuious.
although i had good grades, i felt the only thing i was good for was sex. in many ways, every adult i ever knew failed me, and i learned to depend solely on myself. this added to my isolation. i was locked inside myself fearing that no one wanted to know me because i was not the party-girl, woman of loose moral character everybody wanted me to be.
i went thru two counseling programs on this site and GOD has given me freedom from the me i created and allowed the me HE wants me to be to come through.
my husband and i are leaving the swining lifestyle where after a drunken night of porn, we developed a fetish for him with other men.
he is unsaved and really struggles with leaving behind the trap of sexual immorality.
my problem is that it excites my flesh, and turns him on to do those things, to talk about doing them, to seek them out.
but after the flesh is satiated, the spirit is grieved. these things have become integral to our sex life. since he sees nothing wrong with it, i can only pray that GOD will clean up the marriage bed, and be pleased in our bedroom.
he will not ask me to be with other people anymore, but he says he can't give up wanting to have sex with other men. my flesh is so weak.
pray that i will be strengthened in the spirit by truly mortifying the deeds of the flesh
