People on the other side of the wall
Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:02 pmThe other day in Life Beyond Walls chat, something came up. I felt compelled to write this post.
I cannot begin to understand what has happened to a lot of you that you have built up your walls. The things that happened to me gave me a low self esteem but the walls were made of styrofoam, easily broken.
The question came up of what do you do when you let someone in and they let you down.
When I talk to people, I am careful in what I say and rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance. I know that the first step is trust... for the person to trust me not to judge them, not to let them down. For them to understand that I don't want or need anything from them... just an offer of friendship and help in finding freedom with the Lord.
But because I don't know the person's wounds, I sometimes hit a sore spot that they are not ready to face. And each person has a different trigger.
Now, think of a person who has no idea that you have walls. They don't know that you have sore spots... and if they did by you telling them, they don't understand how much it effects you. Especially if the person is not a Christian.
You draw back behind the safety of your walls and they don't know why. They will try to talk to you but you have already decided they are not worthy... they hurt you or may hurt you, so no matter how hard they try, you don't give. They don't understand, they can't understand because they didn't go through what you did but in most cases, they want to understand if you would give them a chance.
So, the point of this post is please, don't be too quick to judge us and run back behind the wall...keeping us away. We may not realize we hurt you because we have never been there and don't realize. Maybe, before that wall comes back up, you can give the person another chance.
My youngest sister was never close to me. I was excited and happy when I saw her once saying, "My long lost sister". This mortified her and kept her away for years. I had no idea what I said upset her and if given a chance, would have asked for forgiveness. We became closer during my mother's illness and passing but she is keeping me at a distance anew... answering my calls with an e-mail here and there saying she is okay but I know about the walls and mask now. I keep praying for her and planting seeds when I can until the time she knows God's love can set her free.
I cannot begin to understand what has happened to a lot of you that you have built up your walls. The things that happened to me gave me a low self esteem but the walls were made of styrofoam, easily broken.
The question came up of what do you do when you let someone in and they let you down.
When I talk to people, I am careful in what I say and rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance. I know that the first step is trust... for the person to trust me not to judge them, not to let them down. For them to understand that I don't want or need anything from them... just an offer of friendship and help in finding freedom with the Lord.
But because I don't know the person's wounds, I sometimes hit a sore spot that they are not ready to face. And each person has a different trigger.
Now, think of a person who has no idea that you have walls. They don't know that you have sore spots... and if they did by you telling them, they don't understand how much it effects you. Especially if the person is not a Christian.
You draw back behind the safety of your walls and they don't know why. They will try to talk to you but you have already decided they are not worthy... they hurt you or may hurt you, so no matter how hard they try, you don't give. They don't understand, they can't understand because they didn't go through what you did but in most cases, they want to understand if you would give them a chance.
So, the point of this post is please, don't be too quick to judge us and run back behind the wall...keeping us away. We may not realize we hurt you because we have never been there and don't realize. Maybe, before that wall comes back up, you can give the person another chance.
My youngest sister was never close to me. I was excited and happy when I saw her once saying, "My long lost sister". This mortified her and kept her away for years. I had no idea what I said upset her and if given a chance, would have asked for forgiveness. We became closer during my mother's illness and passing but she is keeping me at a distance anew... answering my calls with an e-mail here and there saying she is okay but I know about the walls and mask now. I keep praying for her and planting seeds when I can until the time she knows God's love can set her free.
deetu