Christianity Oasis Forum

[supermom1892]

Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if this is where to post as it is my first time here. I need prayer. I do not know what lies ahead but I know God does. Husband has and addiction to pain killers for the last 10 years. I have only known for the last 5 when he fessed up and he has now been on Suboxone for 4 years and I cant take it anymore. I was asked 5 years ago not to tell anyone and I did not. Being the "good" Christian wife I kept it a secret, even from our three children. Well, 6 months ago things changed and just last week I told him I am not living like this anymore. He thinks he is fine on suboxone, but I'll tell you right out, his mind is anything but. A couple of things happened the past six months that opened my eyes to my enabling and I am not living with an addict anymore, even though this drug is prescribed to him once a month by a so called psychotherapist (aka: licensed drug dealer!!!) I am at a crossroads in my life now, a 27 year marriage in epic fail and could use prayer for me and my family. This is going to be a firey path, as the skeletons will be coming out of the closet.
I know God is with me through this, but I keep falling into fear, which I know is not from the Lord.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Supermom (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on behalf of you and your husband. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

Supermom, I'm glad you know that The Lord is with you, and Yes, He will see you through.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[realtmg]

HI,
I can relate to you as I have been where your husband is at.
There is an "earthy" program called al-anon. These groups of men and women engage with each other and help one another in support of their addictive family member. You can also get the book for about 6 dollars.
These will give you insight what is going on and what to do and what not to.
Now, God is foremost the Author and he places people in your life to help.
Be patient and pray. Spill your guts here as we care dearly.
You can't change him but he and God can!
He has to want to!
There are many here who are in your shoes as well as there are many in his.
Prayer is the Key but we have to put action to work as I mentioned above.
Find an al-anon meeting and when he ask where you are going; tell him why. Be assertive and tell him you can't take much more.
We addicts have a way to con and manipulate.
He even may need treatment.
You have done what was needed by sharing. THANK YOU!
Many do not know what to do.
Sharing is important. Good and the bad.
many years ago my mom went to an AA member and he told her about Al-anon. She got a book and went to meetings.
In a few weeks my mother changed. She sowed tough love to me and it really hurt me but I finally realized it was me and not her or anyone else.
I do not beleive in divorce except for infidelity.
Separation is an option, even in your own house.
Just want to add that there are many church members who need help also. They have secrets too.
Yes, your husband may need something for pain. Have the doctor to change that.
By taking as many as you say, he has an outside source to get them.
I remind you that I am an addict but know the other side too after30 years.
Just by sharing you help yourself and others who read.
Take a look and google al-anon and find out a little home work.
There should be a meeting held close to you also.
Allow God to lead you through people as I He will give you more.
PRAYER and God is the Key.
But He expects us to do all we can also.

I'm always close by.
Thank you very much for sharing this!

In Christ,

Real

[vahn]

Hello supermom

Please allow me to first welcome you to the Oasis ... Second , I just love the user-name you have chosen , the post that foolowed you "name" kind of verified my first "interpretation" of it .... in short , Atlas , the one who , for some reason or other , thinks the burden of the world is upon his shoulders ... Ouch , heavy responsibility huh ?

I am an addict myself , and I have been on both sides of the fense (family members') , in addition to watching my mother (later I found out) try to put up with it all , both with my own addiction and the others' , so , when I first heard the term "addiction is a family disease" I completely understood AND agreed .

Addiction not only affects the family , but it effects EVERYONE that the addict comes into contact with . The bad (and maybe good) part of it is that , EVERYBODY DOES KNOW that something is not right in the "picture" , they just don't know WHAT it is , and they all scramble for "answers" , and in the process , they end up making all kinds of assumptions and form all kinds of false opinions on the people involved , and unless they try to realy find out what the exact 'cause' for the disfunctional situation is , they run themselves ragged tryinf to "fix" it , and subsequently "get tired and throw in the towel" and at the same time fealing utterly defeated and dicouraged , disappointed at themselves for not being able to "do something" .

Here's the truth , it is NO BODY'S "fault" , so , let us first get rid of the guilt . In order for one to feel guilty they must FIRST , find out if there is any fault ANYWHERE , next , IF that "fault" falls on their shoulders .

The addict , may have at first strt taking the meds as a necessity , due to pain or what have you , and the pain may or may not have been real , but , there are two things that would get me to start scratching my head about , one , after a certain length of time of being on same medication for the same reason(s) , dont you think that the "medication" is NOT working ??? .... and two , (and this is the part where it gets hairy) , KNOWING the "medication" is causing some external problems , like , asking the wife to lie to the kids and neighbours , or rather , or asking to spread the lie they themselves fabricated , just so that they be going on their merry way and have this perpetual false smile etched on their faces .
Like a tornado ripping the house down , and the owner sticking their heads out the bulkhead saying .."look ma , aint nothing happening here !!"

Solution : We just lay the Spiritual tools in front of them at their disposal , it is up to them to pick and choose which .



In Christ , our Lord
vahn


P.S. Our brother Real gave a great suggestion ... Al-Anon