Christianity Oasis Forum

[vahn]

I always wondered if there ever was a purpose (a good one) for people to whisper 'bout some one else's "wrongs" .
Now , I know there may be many reasons and excuses for it , but what would the purpose be ?

Growing up in the Middle East , one day my gramps & I were returning from the marketplace when a "friend" of his stopped us and said "You should've seen the size of that turkey the boys were lugging , wonder what were they planning on doing with it " . Gramps replied with " How is that my business ? " and the man said " But they were taking it to your house " Without missing a beat gramps went "How is that your business "

Not too long ago I had to relocate back here after 2 yrs being away from here , someone in the meanwhile takes all the liberty of starting a rumor/gossip about my absence and la di da . But , upon returning , all I could hear was how sorry everyone that cared were to hear "the bad news" I'm going ok , what is that "bad news" , maybe if you would let me in on it , maybe I'll just join you guys on your misery wagon , I have absolutely no clue of what is it that happened to me ! "

Reason # 1 for backbiting , " That's the only way I know how to look , sound , better than the person "
Reason # 2 : "have nothing else to do with my life , but to stir up some excitement , I cant afford to buy a tabloid magazine "
Reason # 3 : " I am downright nosey , and I live on garbage like that "

The question I have for these people is , "What was it that you do when you supposedly "witnessed" the incident ? Let me see , you left them at that , without offering any help , ran to the nearest ear (who's obviously as bad off as you ) and went " You shoulda seen the size of that turkey the boys were lugging around ? " .....

The only person that will be damaged at the end is always the one who started the whole mess , even if the "news" didnt go any further than their noses .

I told this person "When was the last time you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and asked yourself ' Where am I in this deal ? '
or better yet "what purpose will it serve , other than belittling this person in order to make myself look bigger " Oh , by the way , How small do you think of yourself to resort to that "

Yep , inventory time my friends , OUR OWN that is , and not the other person's .

[mlg]

Thanx for sharing that vahn. I find myself on the tail end of people's backbiting as well, yet I know that we will suffer for who we are, as this is the enemy at work. He tries to tear us down, by getting others to do the whispering. The thing is we can have comfort in knowing that their spoken words do NOT define us. God truly knows who we are, and I've also found that sometimes it's good to distance yourself from those who have want to run and whisper about you. Now this doesn't mean hold a grudge against them, or to not forgive them for their actions, this just means that sometimes it's best to stay out of the way, and let God deal with them. When a friend is the one who begins the backbiting, it's sometimes harder on our emotions, as we question why they would do this. But, in reality we are all flesh, and we are to forgive that friend, but it doesn't mean we have to trust them afterwards. Forgiveness is not trustworthiness...two different things altogether, and when trust is broken, then it's often hard to get that back if ever.

luv ya my friend

[deetu]

I had a real hard time in one of my first churches. One woman would tell the Pastor stories about me and what I said but although it was true, she would change it so it had evil overturns to it. The more I tried to convince her that I was with Jesus, the harder she put me down.

It was found that she was the one with the problems (I believe a spirit of deception was on her) but they never cleaned themselves or the church and the backbiting continued. (imagine coming to service and hearing the Pastor give a serman on what you had talked to him the week before as something not to listen to)

God wouldn't release me from that church and I got to stay for a year. When I would start to feel bitter, I would catch myself and bless, bless, bless them. I continued to tell what I heard God say even though I knew it wouldn't be received. It taught me to not take offense and continue to do what God wanted me to do. To call out and listen to His guidance.

Maybe he's toughing you up too?

[lizzie]

Thank you brother vahn for this post

Some say its human nature. I agree its the nature of fallen man, to find fault and to be prideful and seeking upliftment thru the downfalls or faults of others.

Even tho no one may care to admit it, i am pretty sure that we ALL have been perpetrators of backbiting and gossip at some point. So if it does happen that we become victims of it ourselves, we gotta stop and remember that we too are guilty of the act at some point. Extend mercy and forgiveness as we would want for ourselves.

It is definitely something that causes breakdown in the Body, and its something that we need to work on from a heart level.

How do we start? By loving the Lord more. We cannot love His children until we first love Him. So as with all things, we build on our relationship with Christ, and we will see Him change our hearts

God is good

Love in Christ brother

ty for the thought provoking post