Christianity Oasis Forum
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So it's time I faced an "issue"
Issue : This ... "Say it with "love" .... thing . .. I mean , the real issue is in the "say it" part . I dont know how to , or maybe ... or maybe ... or maybe ...
Ok , so . Ever since childhood , there was not much of "communication" , the verbal kind , in our home ... I mean , a statement was made (with the least amount of words) , and we just did it , and that was the end of subject . And if there was any kind of responsive statement (which was seldom) , it usually hinged upon "Hey I did that and it didn't work ! ok ?" .
Everybody knew what needed to be done , or expected of us to know , because we were shown aforehand , so , the word "I can't" was always responded with "Did you try ?" , so , scratch the "I cants" And most important , We KNEW our parents would NEVER say , expect , or have us do or say things that would harm us . Because we KNEW they LOVED us . Now , does that mean I was never reprimanded, slapped around , or "punished" ? , HAH !! , ME ??? ... But Love , Trust , and Dependance , continued regardless .
Sports ... same thing ... coach sez jump , and we did !!
Armed services .... ditto ...
Career ... yep ... client sez "I want" .. and he "got" it
Boss ... "Do" .... and it was done !!
Ok , back to childhood.
"Dont waste time fretting about the why's and what for's" .
"Do whatever you wish (refuse if you want) ... Just don't come home crying ... cause if you do , I'll give you a reason to"
"You broke it , you fix it"
Now , I also understand , not everyone had an up-bringing like this , nor did experience the lifestyle I did .... was born and raised in war (both civil and national... and no , I am NOT talking America)
FFWD ... Sponsor ... CONTINUOSLY , " You say what you mean ... mean what you say ... you just have a way to say it mean "
I always tried to figure out why he continued to say that to me , until one day I finally asked why , and if he had an alternative way for me , he said "You know that's a tough one for me as well vahn , no , I don't . Why do you ask me a question like that , KNOWING that I don't " ... "So where do we go from here ?" I ask , and he says ..."Let us just do the best we can IN LOVE , and let them sort them out ... as long as we know it is out of Love ...Just like you KNEW your parents did it likewise ."
In order for one to ask a question (for knowledge) ... there must first be a lack of it somewhere , otherwise why ask the question right ? .... Now here's my question (2) ... 1) . If one does NOT know , how can they say this is right , or that is wrong .... and 2) .... If one KNOWS .... why not offer it as an suggestive alternative !!
I hear a lot of "don't do's" .... but seldom I here "Do it this way instead and THIS is how it is done "
I had ALWAYS , upon hearing things put in kind way , admired , wished I could do the same , and almost envied those individuals with that ability .... Where do I go from here ? Or should I follow my spons's reply .
God , being ALL LOVE , He CANNOT do anything WITHOUT Love .
In Christ , our Lord
vahn
Ok , so . Ever since childhood , there was not much of "communication" , the verbal kind , in our home ... I mean , a statement was made (with the least amount of words) , and we just did it , and that was the end of subject . And if there was any kind of responsive statement (which was seldom) , it usually hinged upon "Hey I did that and it didn't work ! ok ?" .
Everybody knew what needed to be done , or expected of us to know , because we were shown aforehand , so , the word "I can't" was always responded with "Did you try ?" , so , scratch the "I cants" And most important , We KNEW our parents would NEVER say , expect , or have us do or say things that would harm us . Because we KNEW they LOVED us . Now , does that mean I was never reprimanded, slapped around , or "punished" ? , HAH !! , ME ??? ... But Love , Trust , and Dependance , continued regardless .
Sports ... same thing ... coach sez jump , and we did !!
Armed services .... ditto ...
Career ... yep ... client sez "I want" .. and he "got" it
Boss ... "Do" .... and it was done !!
Ok , back to childhood.
"Dont waste time fretting about the why's and what for's" .
"Do whatever you wish (refuse if you want) ... Just don't come home crying ... cause if you do , I'll give you a reason to"
"You broke it , you fix it"
Now , I also understand , not everyone had an up-bringing like this , nor did experience the lifestyle I did .... was born and raised in war (both civil and national... and no , I am NOT talking America)
FFWD ... Sponsor ... CONTINUOSLY , " You say what you mean ... mean what you say ... you just have a way to say it mean "
I always tried to figure out why he continued to say that to me , until one day I finally asked why , and if he had an alternative way for me , he said "You know that's a tough one for me as well vahn , no , I don't . Why do you ask me a question like that , KNOWING that I don't " ... "So where do we go from here ?" I ask , and he says ..."Let us just do the best we can IN LOVE , and let them sort them out ... as long as we know it is out of Love ...Just like you KNEW your parents did it likewise ."
In order for one to ask a question (for knowledge) ... there must first be a lack of it somewhere , otherwise why ask the question right ? .... Now here's my question (2) ... 1) . If one does NOT know , how can they say this is right , or that is wrong .... and 2) .... If one KNOWS .... why not offer it as an suggestive alternative !!
I hear a lot of "don't do's" .... but seldom I here "Do it this way instead and THIS is how it is done "
I had ALWAYS , upon hearing things put in kind way , admired , wished I could do the same , and almost envied those individuals with that ability .... Where do I go from here ? Or should I follow my spons's reply .
God , being ALL LOVE , He CANNOT do anything WITHOUT Love .
In Christ , our Lord
vahn
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vahn - Posts: 809
- Location: Earth (STILL !!)
Re: So it's time I faced an "issue"
If u ask me... I would say
BE YOURSELF! EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN!
Seriously vahn, i would not love you as much as i do if it werent for you awesome God given (and yes i said God given) ability to deliver His message the way you do.
I know how you take consideration of your words, and i have seen how much you have grown in Him and i see your love and your desire to help your fellow brother or sister who is in need out of your love and dedication to Him for the grace He bestowed upon you. You are passionate with His message >. period!
No, BUTTS about it
Keep on keepin on brother of mine! Shine baby shine!
love you so much
♥Jill
BE YOURSELF! EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN!
Seriously vahn, i would not love you as much as i do if it werent for you awesome God given (and yes i said God given) ability to deliver His message the way you do.
I know how you take consideration of your words, and i have seen how much you have grown in Him and i see your love and your desire to help your fellow brother or sister who is in need out of your love and dedication to Him for the grace He bestowed upon you. You are passionate with His message >. period!
No, BUTTS about it
Keep on keepin on brother of mine! Shine baby shine!
love you so much
♥Jill
♥♥I strive to love others as Christ loves me... Ephesians 5:1 Be imitators of God therefore as dearly loved children and live a life of love...♥♥
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xxJILLxx - Posts: 1094
- Location: northeast ohio
- Marital Status: In A Relationship
Re: So it's time I faced an "issue"
Amen Jill!
Vahn I think you might want to listen to that woman.....very wise....as well as for other reasons too
I love too bro....just be you
You spoke of childhood and I wanted to tell you a little part that stuck from mine
I am 47 years old and have NEVER heard the words I love you son come out of my Dads mouth and only heard I'm proud of you maybe more than once
BUT because of that I make it a point to tell my kids every chance I get that I love them and I try to remember to tell them I am proud of them but I make sure when I do either or that they now it's not just the words but that it is coming from my heart...with passion.
That is what I hear from you honest truth and for some it may seem hard nosed but it is brutal TRUTH and that my friend IS passion, you can beat around the bush and say some of what you mean or you can just say it how you feel it
........I LOVE IT!!!!
that is so you and DON'T change a thing, I want honesty, it's just some may take it that you are not meaning it in the loving way you do but if they give it a chance they see it too
Just like you with your parents I know what you say IS outa love period!!
Vahn I think you might want to listen to that woman.....very wise....as well as for other reasons too
I love too bro....just be you
You spoke of childhood and I wanted to tell you a little part that stuck from mine
I am 47 years old and have NEVER heard the words I love you son come out of my Dads mouth and only heard I'm proud of you maybe more than once
BUT because of that I make it a point to tell my kids every chance I get that I love them and I try to remember to tell them I am proud of them but I make sure when I do either or that they now it's not just the words but that it is coming from my heart...with passion.
That is what I hear from you honest truth and for some it may seem hard nosed but it is brutal TRUTH and that my friend IS passion, you can beat around the bush and say some of what you mean or you can just say it how you feel it
You say what you mean ... mean what you say ... you just have a way to say it mean
........I LOVE IT!!!!
that is so you and DON'T change a thing, I want honesty, it's just some may take it that you are not meaning it in the loving way you do but if they give it a chance they see it too
Just like you with your parents I know what you say IS outa love period!!
LET GO AND LET GOD!!
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Christnundrconstruxn - Posts: 712
- Location: Ohio
- Marital Status: Divorced
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