DAy Two (The Garden Gate) 14 day counciling
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2010 5:00 pm
.....Day Two....
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do And your plans will succeed. Amen
Wow..that is so true...There are alot of things I thought I had dealt with before...The symptoms were gone...Which later re-sufaced here n there...I even found myself in denial about it...when it was brought to my attention...but of coarse I would wrestle between my flesh and my spirit man..Until the flesh submitted itself to the spirit without a fight..Allowing me to be obedient and do what's right after I repented and surrended it to Jesus...Lord knows, I am so ready to break these chains of bondage to my past...I want the Lord to destroy the yokes...and Lift me out of this mess I'm in..This is so much bigger than me...I cannot do it within my own strength...I'd lose my mind and go comepletely bonkers...This requires the Blood...I need a healing for my soul...I need my heart to be cleansed and washed by the blood... I need Jesus...I want to be able to defeat all these outside influences that have played a major role in hindering my walk in Christ in one way or another...Not to mention the things I may have brought on by self with no one elses help...(not even the devil)
I am ready to de-weed my spiritual garden (in my mind) pulling out even the deepest rooted weeds (both known and unknown) clear the grounds of my mind..So I can begin to plant new seeds (God's truth) To allow to take root in my heart and mind...As I must till my garden regularly...as new weeds may pop up here n there... I know some things will not happen over night...but, this is a start to the rest of my life..amen...
I used to be a horrible person in the past...
I hurt and mistreated alot of people I loved and cared about...Although they have all forgiven me and The Lord has forgiven me... That does not stop Satan "the accuser" from trying to condemn me of my past...Always picking and poking here n there...
What alot of people fail to realize sometimes even myself...Our mind is the enemies playground...He studies and makes it his business to know every little thing about us good and bad...Especially our weaknesses...He plants little traps in those areas...starts out here n there...then out of no where he will bombard you from all directions all at once showing no mercy...Creating this nasty ugly hurricane of negative unproductive thoughts in your mind full of rage and confusion...Taunting and teasing and constantly harassing you non stop...
Until I start REBUKIng and Binding Those demonic spirits to submit theirselves under Jesus Christ's Authority...Causing it to Cease on the spot...
Although they will return to re- attack especially when a situation happens and we open the doors for another attack...
The thing about all this is we must de- hoard our emotional baggage little by little until we are completely clutter free so to speak...
I really need to work on my self esteem...I dress up once in a while and take pictures and post them on facebook or send them through text messages...Hoping to see what others see in me that I don't....I look in the mirror and I see a distorted smeared image of ugliness...
I find myself feeling so down at times that I don't even wanna try to own up to the person people see in the pictures when they look at me...
I want to break free from that kind of thinking and emotional baggage...
I also find myself glancing back at certain things in my past that I really don't do anymore...
But, the enemy keeps bringing things up...trying to tease and tempt me...saying things like You remember how much you enjoyed this don't you? Don't just want a lil sampler for old times sakes..
Things that I am no longer connected to...I left sex alone...but, I find myself being tempted to fantisize or even grope myself..A lil embarassing to admit in public... but, The Bible says to cofess our sins to one another and the truth shall set me free, right???
Well,also gotta work on patience and anger...I don't get as easliy frustrated or angry like I once used to..But, There is still some residue left behind that proves there is still something in need of immediate attention...amen
Well, till next time..Take care and God Bless..