Christianity Oasis Forum

[Dora]

Amen Poe.
Can't you just see Gods hand at work in this?
Just goes to show how much he loves ya and wants you healed.
Love you to pieces.
Thilled for your progress. You are doing well sister.

[mlg]

The truth shall set you free!!! And free indeed you are becoming, when you send the lies away...by speaking the truth. Good for you sis!!!

Now, let's talk about what you saw on tv....that my sister is why we have to be very careful what we allow to be placed around us, from tv, to people to the books we read. The world is lurking everywhere waiting to get in....surround yourself with things of God...Christian music, the Bible, fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ. Then will you be prepared when the world tries to slip in.

Your doing so well sis. Over halfway through the steps. Keep going, there's still more to come.

luv ya

[Poefenjaf]

Day 9

So I need to crack the bad habits huh? And fill the spaces they leave with good habits.

Hmmmm

This will take a bit of good thinking from me. I spend so much time doing God's work as I know He's called me to do, that there aren't many physical bad habits that come to mind immediately. Please don't think I am boasting. I am not. I am a leader in my church - I lead worship, lead cell and is just very involved in my church. I love church and have a passion for it. So I am very conscious of my lifestyle as it can effect so many others in my immediate circle.

I think for me the bad habits are my thought patterns - as you may have picked up in my previous posts. Whenever someone says something, my first thought would always be ... are they being genuine? Or are they just trying to make me feel better?

Even with the replies in my blog I have had a huge struggle in believing that people ACTUALLY care for me. This has been my struggle all my life. For me this is the MOST important struggle I have ... just believing that I am loved and cared for.

I am working on it.

Ok - so my bad habit has been to "reject" people's love and encouragement for most, if not all, my life. The good habit to replace this one, is to massage these words of love and encouragement into my spirit and cherish them.

Hmm ... this is going to be an interesting journey.

[Dora]

Poe
God gave you that soul you posses inside. You know the real poefenjaf. The part the Lord will take with him. The part God knows is the good stuff.

I want to share a story with you. Once apon a time God brought into the world one of his children. He loved this child from the first moment he laid eyes on her. She was perfect in his sight. The world being what it is, all mixed up, was deceived and couldn't see the beauty this child with held. So they trashed her every chance they could. Beat her up, kicked her when she was down, threw insult after insult at her. Even her own family. The little girl lost her self worth and began to believe the lies the world was hurling at her. They began to pile up on her spirit until she no longer could see the light of day. She lost sight of her daddys love for her.

As she grew people began to treat her better. Actually even giving her complements. They'd fall on top of all the trash the world had heaped on her heart. There was to much trash between the compliment and her heart for her to receive the compliment.

She would pick up the compliment off the top of the trash heap and try to apply it somewhere within. It just never seemed to fix anywhere. Every area was filled with the painful words the world put there. She'd try to believe that maybe she was worthy, and step out to be the real woman God created her to be. But when she fell down others would scoff and laugh. They'd kick dirt on her instead of helping her up. The world can be a painful place.

When the complements came she'd snatch them up and toss them out, making sure to replace them with the trash she had grown to believe. Telling her she's unworthy. Telling her the complement is a lie not to believe it. Then giving her the full line of what she believes is the truth. The world has it all mixed up. The truth is going in the garbage and the lies are piling up on her.

How you treating that little girl with in? The one who God gave you. The one who God runs to. The one who God calls his child? Are you allowing her to receive the complements that has been sent her way from her Father or are you snatching them up and replacing them with the trash she's always heard?

She wants you to love her. She wants you to unpile all that trash off her heart so she can see the light again. She wants you to take her to her Father who created her in his imagine. The one who looked upon her the day she was born and said with a smile, This is good.

Love her like Jesus.

[Poefenjaf]

[mlg]

Poe, I think you reject others love for you, because you have endured what some would call love that hasn't been true love, so you question whether love is real or not. But, true love comes from Jesus, and those who love Jesus, share His love. That is why we encourage you, and care sis, because you are a child of the Living God and you are our sister.

Plant the good seed of Truth in knowing that God gives you love from others as a blessing for all you do for Him.

luv ya lots sis

[Poefenjaf]

Day 10

I have just done the stepping stone about prayer. Very good study. I have a pretty good prayer life and that is thanks to the excellent example of my church and the teaching I get there. My ONLY issue with prayer is that I don't have the faith to believe for my OWN breakthroughs and stuff. I have PLENTY faith for others ... but not for me. I believe this is because I don't believe that I deserve anything good. A BIG weed I need to pull out huh? I will work on it.

I had a really really bad day yesterday. More people at my work were laid off and I was one of only 5 that still has employment. My heart was so sore for the others ... many of them are very close friends as they are in my church and in my cell group. But what upset me most ... was the GUILT I felt for not being laid off.

SHEESH

Then I also found out that it will be impossible for me to get into NZ to be with mah Mooner ... so IMMEDIATELY I start thinking that I am not good enough, so that's why immigration is turning me down. See how the enemy has lied to me??

There is a song I wish I could let you all hear, but I will post the lyrics here, because it soooo describes what I am going through.

========================================

Beauty - by Kriss Tel

I've held on to so many things before.
My dreams and heart's desires felt so far away.
But You've come to restore just who I am.
Through trials and heartaches You have held my hand.

Why does it take so long to grasp who I am is just enough.
Never mind my talents and abilities.
You allow me to be weak without feeling insecure.
You allow me to dream once again.

Keep me from my enemy.
The one who taunts and plays my heart.
The one that tell lies I believe.
The one that keeps my beauty from me.

What I believe within my heart's what I'll be seeing with my eyes.
And now You've made me to believe that I am beautiful.
Though still sometimes I'll doubt You remind me with Your love.
You let me rest in shadows of Your peace.

If beauty's in my heart, will You keep it purified.
I long to see a smile upon Your face.
If beauty's in my heart and in my heart is a song.
May it reflect Your greater beauty, Your gift to the world.

Keep me from my enemy.
The one who taunts and plays my heart.
The one that tell lies I believe.
The one that keeps my beauty from me.
The one that keeps me from being me.
Clothe me with humility.
So I can stand against my enemy.

========================================

I feel I have such a long way to go and I am feeling so down-and-out today. But I will keep going.

[Dora]

Beautifuly lyrics poe.



I had one person in my life that made me feel worthy of love. She was taken to her eternal rest.
Did I stop being worthy when she left?
Remember those words spoken by the one who treated you with the love you deserved. Don't let the enemies lies steal away his words. You are worthy honey.

God loves you and so do I!

[sweetlittleangel]

mama..u are not alone.

i have long way to go too.

[momof3]

Then I also found out that it will be impossible for me to get into NZ to be with mah Mooner ... so IMMEDIATELY I start thinking that I am not good enough, so that's why immigration is turning me down. See how the enemy has lied to me??

His will be done in this sis. He will open the doors He wants you to enter as i know you are praying for His will to be done. Im glad you are seeing the lies in it about you not being good enough.

One day at a time. His will be done, poepoe. He knows what's happening at work and has a plan. Let go of the guilt. Its not yours to carry. You have such a sweet and caring spirit, its so hard to see those around you suffer loss...but He is in control.

love you, girl.

keep going!

in Jesus,
momo

[Poefenjaf]

Day 11

Oh dear. I am in an awful struggle today. I have so completely bared my soul here and I have pulled weed after weed after weed and replaced it with Truth, but now I am so very very tired.

I don't know what's happening ... almost like this cloud of depression that's over me. I am really struggling to get through it. As you may know, it's been an awfully tough week so far and today is only Wednesday. SHEESH.

There's been so much happening and from when I can remember, I would lose sleep immediately when I have issues or stresses that I need to deal with. A lot of what is going on in my life I have not shared, because I haven't felt that it is relevant to this process. I still feel the same, but I guess everything is just catching up. Maybe my body is now just catching up with my emotions and stuff and it is telling me I need rest. But I just don't sleep. I need sleep, but I just don't.

Thankfully, after reading today's stepping stone, I realised that I haven't been doing too badly with the Holy Spirit. I have allowed Him into my day-to-day life, but I guess I closed certain areas off to His workings, but just going through this process has opened the doors to even those places to Him.

I even can't find the strength to worship - and for me that is a BIG thing, because I LIVE for worship. Is this a natural part of the process or am I just being silly here?

As I sit here and type, I am at work and I dread the day to start as everything is so emotional and up-in-the-air here at the moment. I know the Spirit is with me and will help me through it, but I am so very very tired.



How am I going to get through all this?

Ugh.

[xxJILLxx]

Poe i think it is very normal to feel the way u are feeling, u may be feeling a lil vulnerable, i know i have felt that way sometimes when i share my deepest secrets and or thoughts.

what helped me during those times is praiseing Him with everything ive got, ive found that it confuses the enemy. We are all in war dont lose sight of the spiritual battle that is taking place. our enemy gets angry when we start to heal in Christ because he knows hes losing the battle.

Im sure u remember the story about when the people praised God and when they were done praising they didnt even have to fight the enemy was soo confused that they ended up turning on each other and killed themselves off.
Shout your praises before the Lord and thank Him in all things especially when u dont feel like it

I will keep u in prayer sis and i know He will bring u through

♥Jill