Christianity Oasis Forum

[xxJILLxx]

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Your deliverance is realizing and accepting your fathers inability is a revelation of what God wants to be in your life . Everything your daddy wasnt look at that and God says, thats what im going to be in your life. If you let me be your daddy ill be everything you expected HIm to be and more.
God says

If your daddy was not a provider, God says i will be your provider

If your daddy was not a protector, God says i will be your protector

If your daddy didnt have your back, God says ill always have your back

If your daddy wasnt there to help you, God says i will be an ever present help.

Ill never leave you or forsake you.


gentle reminders sis from the Holy Spirit

Love you!

♥Jill

[Dora]

today step talks about surrender #11

Surrender to the Holy Spirit

John 14:16-18
And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of TRUTH; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth Him not, neither knoweth Him: but ye know Him; for He dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

John 16:13-15
Howbeit when He, the Spirit of TRUTH, is come, He will guide you into all TRUTH: for He shall not speak of Himself; but whatsoever He shall hear, that shall He speak: and He will shew you things to come. He shall glorify me: for He shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you. All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that He shall take of mine, and shall shew it unto you.

I want to be so wrapped up in this spirit of Truth that I can't find me.

Jill thank you for your words. You are so precious.
mlg thank you for being there.

[Dora]

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

[Dora]

"Mirror"

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

---------
It will take a miracle to make this stick.
Let me be your miracle Lord Jesus
Make it stick.

[Dora]

Feeling like I'm talking to myself here.
Oh well. I started this. I'm going to finish it.
Besides as I posted about the struggles. I need to post about the glory.

I've said before I have so much abuse in my past that It will take a miracle to heal me.

God is the God of miracles. So I trust he will heal me. Just the determination to be healed seems to have washed so much away.

God loves me.
His grace is sufficient.
I need to rest in his grace more often.
I want to be his trophy.
First thing I hear is the whispers trying to steal the joy I get when I think of being Gods trophy.
I see a broken, tarnished, ugly trophy on the shelf that anyone would be ashamed of.
It makes me angry. That the enemy can steal my joy so quickly.
He takes every good word and twists into negative thought.
All I can say is Gods in the trophy repair business.

My husband has a box of trophies. Some from what I consider great accomplishments. Some were a bit easier to receive. One year he was given a broken trophy. It was a joke. He told me last night out of all his trophies, that one is his favorite. It has meaning behind it. It has laughter with friends.

Almost brings me to tears to think even if I am a broken, tarnished trophy, when God looks at it he sees the time spent together and the struggle to get me where I am at. And he smiles.

I have to start fighting the whispers when they come. The ones that keep me feeling like trash and stealing my joy. I thought I was just being careful to not believe something that wasn't true. By listening to these words and breaking apart what people say to me, so to make sure I'm not believing someones fluffy talk.

I feel really good. I feel great! I quit seeing my counselor a few weeks back. It just was to much to visit all those memories again. Everything I worked through seemed to be fresh. Her intentions were to help me overcome fears. Thinking of going back causes anxiety. I am not sure if I should continue as I don't want to just stuff everything in a box so it can pop out and surprise me later. I want it dealt with, so it can fade away.

Which by the way, I wrote out a bunch of words my dad called me or used against me and lit them up. Looked up scripture as to what God says about me. And those memories of his words seem to have just disappeared. I could maybe remember if I tried hard. But why would I want to do that. I like them where they are. Gone.

My goal is to be so wrapped up in the Holy Spirit that when I fall instead of wallowing in self pity, I lean wholly on his grace.

I believe this to be Gods will as well. It seems imposable. With God all things are possible. Let his will be done.

GB

[xxJILLxx]

THank u Jesus !


Pine so proud of you sis

Keep up the awesome work

u know i loves ya!

♥Jill

[Mackenaw]

Hello Piney

God bless you this day.

Yeah!!! I'm so glad you are feeling better. Your renewed determination to believe Truth over and above all else is inspiring too!!!

You wrote:

I have to start fighting the whispers when they come. The ones that keep me feeling like trash and stealing my joy. I thought I was just being careful to not believe something that wasn't true. By listening to these words and breaking apart what people say to me, so to make sure I'm not believing someones fluffy talk.

Yes, you need to nip those whispers pronto. Remember lots of the whispers come from our own flesh. Yep, they do. Gross huh? But you know Truth, so just rise up in your spirit by connecting to The Holy Spirit and speak The Word to yourself.

Remember when you were pregnant and around the 6th month your body would start doing the Braxton Hicks contractions -- when your belly would get hard as a rock and for a few minutes it felt like you were carrying around a lead melon instead of a baby? Well, God in His blessed wisdom was giving your baby practice for the future delivery.

Well God allows trials and tribulation in our lives so we have plenty of practice in using patience and relying on Him. Fight the Good Fight, Piney. The Lord is right there with you in His Bootcamp. Sooooooo, ATTENNNNNNNNN HUT!!! Jesus is Lord, and you are a child of God. He loves you, Piney. He truly does.

God bless you, Piney.
Love,
Mack

[Dora]

Day #13

Almost done.

Fellowship was the topic. I love my fellow sheep.

Hmm..always doubting their love for me, yet I can find it in myself to love them. That's kinda like saying I'm better than them hu?

Mack when I read your words God loves me, I pause. Do a quick check. "Do you believe this pine" Yes I do. Use to I couldn't even read those 3 words. I would turn my head.

This little girl inside and I have a strange relationship at the moment. Kind of a love hate. The thought that comes to mind is she messes up all the time. Still hung up on that apparently. Still measuring her goodness with the same measuring stick my dad used on her. As if he handed it off to me so to keep her in the same bondage he put her in. I am certain he would love to see me break that measuring stick and throw it in the fire. I will overcome this, with God as my helper. Maybe I should allow God to overcome this with me as his helper.

Anyhow still lots to work on, but getting closer. Progress. I think I may go back to see my counselor, but slow things down. I quit a few weeks back. When I talked to her yesterday I saw that I just need to be more open with her about how I'm doing with the therapy. Let her know I need to slow things down and maybe even come to an agreement that I'm not ready to talk about some things yet. So I don't feel pressured to go into something I don't want to discuss yet. I don't know if I should go back. Just thinking of what we need to talk about causing anger to rise inside of me. Maybe it's just best to leave things where they are and focus forward.

[vahn]

Hey Pine

I can just hear it , "Of all people here's vahn with his input" . but ...
Just because someone is incapable of applying something learnt from experience it doesn't make that "knowledge" obsolete .

For a long time I carried a burden of the Enemy's workings as my fault , or as if it was me who had "invited" the action taken by another that the Enemy was working through .

But , like you , by letting someone know , it doesn't matter who , whether it be therapist , counselor or someone I meet at a coffee shop , first thing that happens is that when the place where the "issue" had occupied , stays empty and unless or more correctly until I fill it in with something different , everytime that "space comes into sight the only thing I get left to remember is the "issue" because there's nothing else there .
When our Lord said (I think it was through James) admit your iniquities to one another , He didn't mention anyone in specific except (through Matthew) He said "whenever two of you gather in my name ... I will be there" for what reason ? When I let something out by talking to "another" I have to make sure it will be in His name , because when the "issue" leaves , the Lord will be there to occupy that space .

Even when someone "fixes" a broken glass jar , everytime I get to use it the crack will still be visible but when I look through it and see the content of the jar the crack vanishes .

I wish I can apply that to myself sometimes but ...

[Dora]

As iron sharpens iron, brother Vahn.

As we sharpen one another, we in return are also being sharpened.

So often when speaking to another, I am speaking what I need to apply to myself. Sort of like just now. I forget that because I'm not all there yet, that I still can share with others and in doing so at times help them along their way.

I think you are right Vahn. I think I need to go back to the counselor. Because I carry guilt over what happened to me. If a child were to do something that effected the family in a terrifying way. That child would carry that into their adult life. Even if they knew they were just a child, they may remember the havoc caused to the family because of their mistake. Unfortunately I just have to many of those instances.

The gentle way they come to mind and the loving voice I hear leads me to believe it is the Lords will. Like you said Vahn, confess the sin one to another. It's not so much my sin though I did wrong to deserve punishment, Which led to the monster coming out in my dad, which led to me getting hurt, which led to my entire family being effected.

So is it important to say, I messed up by ... and my dad messed up by doing this to me. Then there is the issue of I can't remember what I did! Something simple, mouthed off? spoke out of line? brought home a bad grade? hit my sister?

[mlg]

luv ya Pine and thank you.

[comfy]

Almost brings me to tears to think even if I am a broken, tarnished trophy, when God looks at it he sees the time spent together and the struggle to get me where I am at. And he smiles. Ah-HAH . . . I had a hard time with one of my pastors. He was wrong, may be, trying to get control of me; but I can consider this like the struggle you are talking about, but God smiles as He keeps on with you > well, this is how He wants *us* to be with people, in strugging > how we are laboring to help them, so we can be . . . smiling and keeping with these people, like with kids . . . unconditionally. So, if he were to say he messed up > "Oh? When was that?
The day before yesterday? That is out-of-date" > > >

Time for fruit that is a date,
put away that hate.
God is so much more great,
why carry inferior freight.

Boop-de-boop-bah

dainty dancy prancing

I have to start fighting the whispers when they come. The ones that keep me feeling like trash and stealing my joy. I thought I was just being careful to not believe something that wasn't true. By listening to these words and breaking apart what people say to me, so to make sure I'm not believing someones fluffy talk. I think of how I can trash people, in my imagined talking at them > I need to stop this trashing of other people, be *for* them, instead . . .

I feel really good. I feel great! I quit seeing my counselor a few weeks back. It just was to much to visit all those memories again. Everything I worked through seemed to be fresh. Her intentions were to help me overcome fears. Thinking of going back causes anxiety. I am not sure if I should continue as I don't want to just stuff everything in a box so it can pop out and surprise me later. I want it dealt with, so it can fade away. Satan "might" be allowed to bring things back to test us, Pine. And when I'm taken down, I know it and admit it, then see how only You, God our LORD and Master and Potter and Lover . . . the only One who really loves us and cares for us and is able . . . only You can fix me up and keep me up, by Your grace almighty and sufficient. So, do this with Pine, more and more,
as she g-r-o-w-s
and g-l-o-w-s. . . .*Ostrich* .

Which by the way, I wrote out a bunch of words my dad called me or used against me and lit them up.
I think of how it says, "For our God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:29) So, I can see that when Satan's words may come to test us, they might just be burned before they get near us. So . . . LORD . . . however You please with us . . . thank You, in the name of Jesus . . .