Christianity Oasis Forum

[aking]

Well yesterday was a horrible day. I found a quote that said something like "Don't you hate it when you remember a memory and it breaks your heart all over again?" That is so true. It seems these days that's all I do is remember the good things, funny thing is, there weren't really any bad things in those two years. I just want it to get easier. I even dream about him most every night. It's crazy. I talk to the Lord every night in tears. I'm sure he's tired of riding that merry go round with me because it seems like I always say the same things . For some reason yesterday I really missed him though. One thing I don't understand is the fact that he won't go more than 2 days without talking to me. I didn't talk to him Saturday or Sunday and I got a text from him around 1:00pm Monday to let me know he sent me an email Monday morning. He sent it to my work email address and I was off so I didn't get it and obviously didn't answer. So I don't know if that worried him or what and that's why he sent the text to let me know. It's almost like he wants rid of me but he doesn't. Is that the Lord's hand in things? Or am I just thinking selfishly again? I asked the Lord last night, if this isn't meant to be in some way, shape or form to take away my desire to work things out and to take away the want to hold on to him. I know the Lord does things in his time and not ours but I just hopes he speaks to me soon and let's me know what I should do. I'm seeing my husband after work today to take him some of his boys' things. I pray the Lord will give me the right words to say. Until tomorrow......

[aking]

Well it's been a few days since I've written anything in my journal. Nothing's really changed, going through the same ole, same ole. I do feel a little better about things though. I spoke with my husband on the phone Thursday night. I talked he said nothing. Just a few words every now and then. He did tell me that he spoke with his pastor about his salvation which I am happy about. I've prayed for that since all this happened. I think it's time to start worrying about me. I'm overweight and diabetes and heart trouble runs in my family. I need to start thinking about Amber and get off the pity merry go round. I truly need everyone's help with this so all prayers for me would be greatly appreciated. I also have A LOT of dental work I need done. Yes, I have my teeth and no they're not horrible , but the cost on all that is almost $9,000 and for a single mom working fulltime and going to school I just can't see that happening. Please lift up prayers for me that the Lord will open a door to allow this work to be done. I would greatly appreciate it. Anyway, I would like to sincerely thank all the friends that I've met here for their prayers and kind words. Sadly enough, I don't have a lot of christian friends due to my background and I certainly enjoy having them now. So, if anyone wants to add me as a friend, please do. The more the merrier I say . Til next time......

[Dora]

Amber it sounds like you are feeling a bit better. Praise God!

Are you working on the cccc steps offered here?

God bless and keep you. Sending up a prayer for you.