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3rd time through the CCCC steps

Postby Dora » Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:14 pm

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down
But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds forgiveness
replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
But I know that your response will always be

I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now (x2)
I'll take you back always
Even when the pain is coming through (x2)
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry
Of what I'm looking for
And I'll take all I can
And lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now that radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that
erases all these faults
That have overtaken me
But I know that your response will always be

I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now(x2)
I'll take you back always
Even when the pain is coming through(x2)
I'll take you back

I can only speak with a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now (x2)
You take me back always
Even when my pain is coming through(x2)
You take me back (repeat these 5 lines twice)


---------------------------------------------------
I fell.
But not as far.
I guess that's progress.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:27 pm

Yep sis that is progress....now time to climb your way back up by holding on to the hand that God is reaching for you with.

luv ya bunches
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Postby Dora » Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:53 pm

Thank you mlg.
I'm exhausted. But I think that's what it took.
No more fighting on my own. Handing it over for Jesus to fight.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:09 pm

AMEN!!! Get's tiring chasing your own tail. :)

luv ya
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Keep pressing in

Postby Guest » Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:02 pm

2 cor.4:16-17 (niv)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Hang in there.
Luv in Christ
Brother BlueBird ;)
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Postby Dora » Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:45 am

When I did this study the first time I wouldn't admit to my past. Wouldn't even look at it.
The second time I didn't journal and didn't receive feed back.
This time the struggle is no different. Still so difficult it feels like I'm being kicked around the room.

I stay busy. Finding things to do. Washing a tiny load of laundry even though if I wait a day I'll have a full load, because I have to stay busy. The memories make me anxious. So I medicate them with one thing or another. Business, alcohol, sleep, showers. Trying to wash it away on my own.

Day #3 Grace
When I see his face my stomach sours.
When I think of my sin my stomach sours.
Maybe if I stop judging him, the measure with which I judge myself will be lessened.

When I think of the things my dad did, I get angry. Then I look in the mirror and I'm angry and even hate the person looking back at me. It's interesting how I can accept the person in the mirror when the past isn't haunting me. When the past is haunting me she's ugly and fat. As if what is on the inside is on the outside.

If she hadn't of ________________.
Fill in the blank. I have a million of them.
It doesn't matter what she did, how big, how small, it doesn't matter the reaction she got, the severity of the punishment.
The prescription is still the same.

2 Corinthians 5:16so from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18all this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation

Yes I view them from a worldly point of view.
Holding them to their past.
Which holds me to my past.
I want to release this.
Maybe when the pictures come, the memories, to respond I forgive you _____. And begin to pray for them, or praise God for the one that has received his mercy when he passed to the next world.

It's a very strong spiritual battle that wants me to hang onto unforgiven.

Please pray these chains that bind me to my past will be broken. That I can completely forgive all those involved.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby Tam » Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:50 am

definetly praying for you Pine. You are doing so good and making progress. I am so proud of you sis. When something comes to mind ... speak out forgivneness for them . Baby steps makes progress too...hang on to HIS hand and keep on keeping on. SO SO SO Proud of you .


As you signature goes....NO FEAR DADDY"S HERE
He has your back Pine and he is not out to hurt love.

Love you sis
Tam
Even in the hardest of times...He is there holding our hand

see my web page here: Peace After The Storm
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Postby mlg » Tue Oct 06, 2009 10:44 am

Yep I'm struggling with this today...forgive others as you want to be forgiven, but then we want to say but it's not fair God what they did to me, but then God says it's not fair what you did to me. I think of those who have hurt me, and wonder how I can ever trust them enough to not worry about them hurting me again.

I know your dad is gone sis, but then you now look at yourself and see all the hurt...but it doesn't matter anymore what you think you did or didn't do. What matters now is that God wants to remove it all, and wants you to forget it all. Forgive you and forget past. Goes hand in hand. Is it easy? No way not by far, and may take a few more attempts. One thing about the steps sis, is that if there is a step you struggle with you need to review it several times in a row, until you begin to see things through God's way and not through past pain.

Keep with it sis.

Here with you.

luv ya bunches
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Postby Dora » Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:12 am

Thank you both.
I think being conscious about not what happened but focusing on forgiving. Forgiving them and myself and others who were apart of hiding what happened and not protecting me.
I'm tired, but it's where I need to be so I quit working on my own.
Funny thing is, I didn't even realize I was.
I was praying and reading his word, but fighting like a mad woman who's child had been taken from her.
She had been. The little girl within was once again captured.
Not from current events, but those of the past.
Those shadows that appear so real.

I am so blessed to have Jesus so close. Even though I don't feel like he is, I know he is and that brings me comfort.

The earthquake has passed but at times the after shocks can feel like the real thing. This is just an after shock.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:17 am

Yep just an aftershock sis, and you know the Truth of how to fight them...they same way you fought thru the earthquake...letting Jesus carry you.

luv ya
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keep on Keeping On

Postby Guest » Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:40 am

Forgiveness is a hard somtimes I to strugle with forgiveness. Most of it was forging myself but then I was lead to this wonder place and started takeing the steps(i know i am only on day 4) but it is already being a blessing to me. Also al the wonderfull encourgement Ive gotton from you and others helps alot. I will keep you in my prayers. Hang in there.
luv in christ
Blue Bird

Psalms 108:13(NIV)
With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies. Praise the Lord :)
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Postby xxJILLxx » Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:51 am

pine,

my dear sis, love u much and am praying for you to be released of all this.

Forgiving and forgetting- moving on from past hurts and disappointments and truly learning how to forgive is difficult at best. It becomes near impossible when the following hindrances to moving on are not dealt with. Many people never move past the past because they continually pick at the fruit instead of getting to the Root of the problem.
(Psalm 139:23-24) Here are some common hindrances to moving past the past:


Pride
fear
unforgiveness
resentment
anger
guilt


Heres some tips i found:

Write down on paper of who it is you need to forgive and write:
But I forgive you in the Name of Jesus, by the Blood of the Lamb.
♥♥I strive to love others as Christ loves me... Ephesians 5:1 Be imitators of God therefore as dearly loved children and live a life of love...♥♥
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