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day 3

Postby bisonfan » Mon Dec 15, 2008 12:00 am

I can think of a title of a book called what's so amazing about grace and there have been many times that that is the echo of my heart. I understand grace but there is so many times that I do not earn it. I know I should just forgive myself for what I did when I broke up form my ex fiance but it is not that easy, I have never been to able to forgive myself and even though I was saved after the fact and I know God has washed me clean I sometimes wonder has he really forgiven me or is it on the back of his head and now I have to suffer because of it and it is a punishment for my life. I do not if I can ever just let go, for some reason it seems to float everywhere I go and seems to daunt me. There are times I think I have forgiven myself then later I find out I have not it is like a helium balloon with a string that I have the ability to let go then grab it to take it back.
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Postby mlg » Mon Dec 15, 2008 8:38 am

My friend, God has forgiven you...it's you that hasn't truly forgiven yourself. God has given His grace to you freely. I know sometimes that's hard to understand, especially when we are mad at ourselves, but it is true..and God has not only forgiven but He has forgot your sins.

Begin laying your burdens of unforgiveness at the cross...leave them there, don't go round picking them back up...just know that you are forgiven and the past can't hurt you anymore.

Keep doing the steps, you are doing great.

Have a deLIGHTful day.

luv ya *hug*
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Postby bisonfan » Mon Dec 15, 2008 11:47 pm

I really want to discover forgiveness but often times wondering a lot about it and why do I allow the unforgiveness of self and not allowing grace to rule. For some reason there is security in it. Do not ask me why I am just crazy.
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Postby xxJILLxx » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:27 am

hi

when i was 17 my parents made me have an abortion i had no choice in the matter so i thought.

i had a raly hard time of forgiving myself becasue i felt i should of ran away.

ifelt guilt for years wondered how she looked, her traits, every year around the time she was supposed to be born imagined having a bdya party for her.

it messed me up

and even when i went to God and asked Him to forgive me, and knew i was forgiven, i still didnt forgive myself, becasue i thought there was something i cld of done.

itried bringing her back by getting pregnant again, didnt work, i even asked the child to forgive me and felt that the child did

Finally i gave it to God after years of tormenting myself about it
When God forgives u Satan keeps pulling it up in yr mind saying yr not worthy to b forgived but God says
Ephesians 1:7
In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

It is through His grace i am forgiven. Period> . I am forgiven.

Dont let Satan tell u lies, focus on the Truth
Gbu
yr sis in Christ
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Postby Dora » Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:55 am

Doesn't sound crazy to me Bisonfan.

The enemy tried to stop Jesus from making the sacrifice and his plan failed. So plan B to stop the people from accepting the reason he sacrificed himself.

With the enemy against us making it even more difficult to accept Gods forgiveness we have other issues as well. Compairing Gods forgiveness to how others have forgiven us. Ever have a parent who remembers every thing you ever did wrong for years and years and brings it up to remind you ever chance they get. Difficult to understand forgiveness when you've never felt it.

Change is never easy. Stepping into something that you don't know. What will it be like? Will it hurt? Will I survive there? I know unforgiveness so it's safe to just stay in the middle of something you already know. So we don't step forward into something that ultimately is better for us. We are actually hurting ourselves by not stepping forwards and receiving the forgiveness. Self hurt. Another reason we hold onto unforgiveness. It's almost like we are saying to Jesus his death wasn't enough. Ouch! We wouldn't do that to Jesus would we? But we do.

Time to receive what Christ did for you. You have believed, but now it's time to walk in your righteousness. What you waiting for? You going to let go of them past sins when you meet Jesus, when you walk into paradise? Is that when you'll let go of your mistakes? Then why not let go now. Live a deeper life for Christ here on this earth by forgiving yourself.

God bless you bison!
Prayers.
Luv ya!
Here for you.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:42 am

The security you feel is the fear of what happens when you truly forgive and let your past go. It's fear of the unknown. The thing is you have to step out into that unknown in order to allow yourself the Healing that God wants you to have. Go ahead and take that step my friend, cuz God is right there with you and so are we.

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