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John's Journal day 5
When I looked at the list at the bottom of this study, I read through them all and found that I had 28 of them. What?!?
I am selfish and I have 28 of these issues. I started reading through them and realized that along with being selfish the two major problems were fear and doubt. See being selfish for me is where I want my way more than God's and I doubt that I going to get it and I am in fear that I will lose even what I have. Because I doubted God's power, love, and forgiveness I was afraid of Him. I had to take matters into my own hands and go after what I wanted; people had to behave exactly as I expected them; and If they did that and I worked as hard as I could everything would turn out right for everyone. Strangely this seemed to work for a while but, if you read my post from day 1 you can see how well that worked out. Truly looking back, it never worked out that well from the start. I have bookmarked that page as suggested and I will have to return to that page on a regular basis for a while. Firstly because the studies on doubt and fear were so good. (Depression was also very good), and secondly because I am challenged by the rest of those things from time to time. I was reading in the journal of another and I too "stood on my own two feet"; you know what...I am tired of standing on my own two feet. I can't do it. I cannot make this work by myself. I need God's help. I am sorry Father that I tried to do it myself for so long. Please forgive me and help me because I want Your help and I need your help.
Amen
I am selfish and I have 28 of these issues. I started reading through them and realized that along with being selfish the two major problems were fear and doubt. See being selfish for me is where I want my way more than God's and I doubt that I going to get it and I am in fear that I will lose even what I have. Because I doubted God's power, love, and forgiveness I was afraid of Him. I had to take matters into my own hands and go after what I wanted; people had to behave exactly as I expected them; and If they did that and I worked as hard as I could everything would turn out right for everyone. Strangely this seemed to work for a while but, if you read my post from day 1 you can see how well that worked out. Truly looking back, it never worked out that well from the start. I have bookmarked that page as suggested and I will have to return to that page on a regular basis for a while. Firstly because the studies on doubt and fear were so good. (Depression was also very good), and secondly because I am challenged by the rest of those things from time to time. I was reading in the journal of another and I too "stood on my own two feet"; you know what...I am tired of standing on my own two feet. I can't do it. I cannot make this work by myself. I need God's help. I am sorry Father that I tried to do it myself for so long. Please forgive me and help me because I want Your help and I need your help.
Amen
Only those who obey can believe and only those who believe can obey.
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humblevisitor - Posts: 112
- Location: Alabama, USA
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Re: John's Journal day 5
Beautiful. Your strength to step forward and admit so openly of your weakness is beautiful.
Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Dora - Posts: 3759
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