Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I am single and want the picture perfect marriage God intended me to have

What can I do to prepare for my love when they come?

Thats 2 of the descriptions on this program, and thats what i am seeking

I am 29, and after many many mistakes made, seeking after Love, for the past few years I have been trying to find God's will for me as a single person as opposed to trying to do it on my own yet again and reaping the same disasterous consequences...

One of the desires of my heart is to marry my soul mate and have a family of my own, kids, dogs, a parrot u get the idea

And I do believe God has placed that desire within me, and that He is preparing me for what He has in store for me.

But I do not wish to make the same mistakes I did before, or fall into the same traps. I want my soul mate this time. No one else will suffice.

I see everyone fall in love. It seems so awesome. I want to be prepared and ready when they show up.

I see so many marriages falling apart, or being attacked by satan and the world. I think for people like myself, who are single, we must allow the Lord to prepare us and our partners, before we enter into a marriage, cuz if the foundation of a marriage is weak, then it will not be able to stand up to what is sure to come, judging from whats going on now.

Excited about tomorrow's step

Amen Lizzie..I too, believe that the Lord is the One who places this desire in our hearts...and in the process, prepares us for that one, if we choose to let Him..and seek Him first and foremost for everything. All of those experiences you have had are part of that growing in Him process. As you have said, He will use those experiences to bring good....


I pray the Lord will grant you the desires of your heart sis.

Love you bunches!

aww thank u miss momma

Ok i was sooo excited to do the first step Wonderful stuff.

Our culture is different from western culture. I grew up around certain religions and their beliefs became impressed upon me. When I was younger, early teens around there, I had an uncle, who was a Hindu priest, read my future our of a book using dates of birth, names, and other general things. He told me that men would only use me and then discard me. That stuck in my mind as I grew up, and every time a relationship failed I thought that he was right. And it became something I believed over time. And when we believe something, our spirit brings it to pass. I am learning to cast down those things that do not line up with the word of God. I refuse to give them life any longer.

There was a part here on pg 1 that spoke about restoring trust.

Trust. Such a fragile thing...

Its so very hard to trust someone with your heart when someone before has stepped all over it... It has taken me many many years to get to that place where I can actually place my trust in a man as far as relationships go, but as was also shared on this study, when we place our trust in the Lord, knowing that come what may, He has us in the palm of His Hand, it helps us to place our trust in others.

I luv this part

The state of Marriage does not hold two people together.

Commitment and unconditional Love do.

Commitment to Christ and to each other despite difficulties that may arise.

Too many people want a cop out. At the slightest sign of conflict, when the rose colored vision gets marred and people realize that the relationship isnt PERFECT in their eyes, they want out... Not me. I hope my partner will know that I am in it for the long haul, good times and bad. And I hope he will share the same view.

I found my soul mate, it was on my other shoe all the time ... but I havent a clue as to why, Iam alone , but at soon to be 60 . It will have to come to me as a bolt of lighting. Hopefully finding a soulmate at this age wont have the same result as a bolt.... ... Iam already charged up

I have understood that only God is to be trusted. But He may lead me to trust a person, but be ready to forgive however that person will fail and even betray my trust. Before I trust someone, I need to be strong enough in love so I can deal well with whatever turns out to be true. This way, if someone fails me, I'm not being hurt about it, but busy with however I myself need to be corrected by God and made stronger and more genuine and honest in love.

Trusting is to be with God, so we aren't leaving ourselves open to being hurt >
. . . . . . . "And who is he who will harm you if you become folowers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)

And trust is not blind, but in God's light so we know what we are doing. We need to trust people the way they are ready to be trusted. We need to pray and trust people the way God has called them to be trusted. We are ourselves, then, responsible for the fact that we trust someone. I notice what happened when those Jewish leaders judged by what was
. . . **obvious but only outward** evidence > Joshua chapter 9 >
. . . . . . . . . . . "but they did not ask counsel of the LORD." (in Joshua 9:14)

And 1 Timothy 3:1-10 shows how a man MUST be "tested" "first", before he is trusted with the "care of the church of God". So . . . yes, he has been forgiven by Jesus, but this does NOT necessarily mean he is right for being trusted. He must be TESTED before trusted. So . . . even if we forgive someone,

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .*ChickenDance* . . . . . . . . . . . *Rooster*. . . . . . . . . . . . . . *yeehaw*
this does not mean God requires us to trust that person.*DoveOlive*
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *ChillinAtOasis*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Test all things; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

So, evil, of course, will have things set up so people trust blindly, get hurt, and then will make the general conclusion that no one can be trusted.
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)
Do not let evil define how you see things, and do not allow evil to decide if you will ever trust, "again", or not. >
how we trusted, in the dark, is NOT the way to trust.

One lady I knew was talking so much about trust, but not about testing. She expected me to buy everything she said. I was such a great person. Then started to come the list of what she expected (o: That list started BEFORE she had met me, I could see (o: Isn't it first about enjoying God, and discovering the one He has chosen for us? So, anything else is not first. First, I would say, is to discover someone, so we find out how that person is for us, and what is really right for that person, what that person is really for, instead of imposing things we have been wanting. Test our SELVES, too . . . not to be so fast to trust my own self and what I can think and want (o: I have by my own wishing and perceptions gotten myself into so much trouble, including fooling my own self into listening to and trusting the wrong person. They did not make me fool my own self (o:

Give it all, give it all,
give it all to our Lord Jesus,
and He will make all the difference
in all we give to Him.
So . . . let's give all, let's give a - l - l
to Christ our King and our Groom,
and He will lead us in love dance,
every footstep shared with Him . . .
through it all, through it a - l - l . . .
though there be more problems to give Him,
there will be blessings gift-wrapped within them,
as He feeds us His own love to live.
So, let's give all, let's give all
to our Personal Lover within us,
and He will make all the difference
in all we give to Him (o:

Amen, the bible tells us to expect the best of others, but to prove all things.

I think most fear that they will place their trust in someone who will hurt them again. But see, from my own past experience, I would meet someone in the morning and by afternoon we were dating We rush into things wayyy too fast without giving it enough time to know about the other person, and find out who they really are and whether they are walking the same path as we are. Lots of imposters out there, who will give that impression to get what they are after and will fall away when they realize they arent succeeding, but the ones who are sincere will wait for you. As you will be willing to wait for them.

I grew tired of the counterfeit thing a long time ago. Now I want the real thing and will continue to persevere in faith to receive it.

Expect what is possible with God >

"But He said, 'The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.'" (Luke 18:27)

Amen

Of course we cannot place others on the same level as God. We are sinful creatures... We will make mistakes,we will stumble etc. We have to know that others are not perfect, and if we seek perfection the only place we will find that is in our Lord.

Sometimes we can place others on a pedestal, and then when they show signs of being 'human', we are ready to abandon them.

Comfy im thinkin of this line here brother:

1 Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

To me, it says we should believe and hope for the best in others. Its hard to do when we allow the past to influence us. How can we believe the best of a man, when men in the past have used us and hurt us and abandon us? Or whomever it may have been.

I have come to understand that I cannot blame someone else, for what someone else chose to do. We judge them not on their own fruits, but on the fruits of others. I would hate to have that done to me.

I think for those who are seeking love, we need to truly ask ourselves if we are giving others a fair shot, or if we are allowing our past experiences to cloud our vision and cause us to shut up our hearts for fear of hurt.

ok! pickin back up on step two

Tho i gotta say, i read thru all the steps in one go a few days ago I couldnt help it. I didnt have time to write on em, but I couldnt stop reading either

But gonna go thru em again a bit slower now

Ok weird thing... Im not sure that I get lonely anymore. Or have for quite a few years now. Ive felt loneliness before, a long time ago. But I have become so occupied now,that its hard to find time to just do nothing. My mind is always engaged. Tho ive always kinda felt like this might be part product of being an only child. I dunno Ive always liked being by myself for the most part.

Your body is NOT yours to give away.

And I wish I hadnt. Of course the past cannot be changed, and it has all brought me here, but I still look back ever so often and wish that I hadnt made the stupid and reckless decisions that I did.

Now I belong to my Lord and no one can ever take me away from Him.

When I first started coming here, all i wanted was a baby. Seriously... thats all i could think about. And of course a husband and a dog and all those things that most women want I guess.

Over time the urgency i felt for these things has diminished greatly. Not that I dont still want all that. But something changed along the way. I have a peace in my heart that isnt dependant on anything or anyone else but God. And this has allowed me to take it very slow and truly examine what needs to be dealt with and healed within myself first. Part of the preparation.

God bless you all.

amen to all the other responses ...

amen lizz its a choice and we too have to choose wisely now being in the Lord its shares in the word do not be unequally yoked Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed???

If we date one who does not have God and we do then what fault does that have on us and the Lord? How can a person who doesnt have God know the things of the Lord???

and about getting hurt I guess I aint afraid of getting hurt but I will not put myself thru the worries of is he doing this and is he doing that ...

Trust is sooo huge and I been taught if its gonna happen christian or not it can and all we have is how we live in the now and so manking that now count and best for each other and if that person gives reason to feel these things in the dating stage I would just gracefully bow out but if we married Id only hope they put God first and talking things out in love not accusing but just sharing hey there something bothering me or I am hurting over ...

but I truly would hope finding some one in the Lord that is past this or that also understands this cuz it dont have to be bad in the next like it was in the past and what comfy was saying was trusting in the Lord for our relationship is the letting go and letting God to heal both past cuz we too are still humans and will fall short but if the person ya with is in agreement with what God expects from both I think that is even a bigger step than we ever having to be in a relationship that was not ...

like night and day ...

but I did marrie unequally yoked but then he got saved but then he changed again went back on everything he once believed in ...
no adultery, no divorse was now an option and he did give me close to 15 yrs of man after Gods heart ...

but seeing how things unfolded he was falling and he didnt just commit adultery to me but God ...

and then I saw him fall further but I was seperated and divorsed ...
drank t drown sorrows, drugs that made him numb ...
hitting the worst place one can land up...
losing everything already from our divorse to even now losing the business God had given and his now second home and the then second wife and baby ...all to divorse again??? and right back where he started when I first met him??? Searching for that thing to fill that void is right there wanting to be it aka GOD...

Satan will try us all!!! This is one way of preparing knowing the enemie too wants us each bad thats a first in this christian walk we on ...

cuz when satan takes the wheel you better take it back and quick!
I too been there Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? its the things (comming devestation) further down the road we dont see ... 7Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:

I not cutting him just sharing all satan can do but like u lizz I only wished I too could go back in time it be never to have even dated and just be friends cuz I saw things then I probrably ignored that i didnt want to have to deal with and I knew bring out the worst in me ...

like jealousy and insecurities but I did I too fall in the love in the flesh not really living the christian life guess I really didnt know all I know now in the Lord either but the more I grew in the Lord made things harder while he lived in the flesh and then hoping God will help us and change him all thru my marriage waited 5 yrs for him to get saved and God did grant that amen I believed he was being sanctified thru me and I can see He really served God and loved it but always wrestled loving himself ...

serving and wanting to do all things we should dont cut it, its how much we love God and not want to hurt Him ...

but how can we be sure even with one if my ex was a man after Gods heart and then fell back on himself ???

the only thing I come up with is 37Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind..

we cant love Him in part ...

GB and like lizz ushared ... LOVE aka charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity!!! 1 CORINTHIANs 13:4-13

amen ... LOVE 1 John 4:16 (King James Version)

16And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

came back to share I just got thru reading page 1 of the study and I did share in my sharing about being unequally yoked the difference between me and the study is I am not sharing it as to condemnany who may be that is not what I am saying soo please know what i shared is in love just to weigh things out in the Lord ...

Only God can help walk ya thru from where you are and He can bless still... only GWBD!!!

ok ty GB

Hi Lizzie,

Preparing to be a wife

Prepare to receive the blessing of my husband.
God has someone just for you and He's preparing you to be a part of your husband's destiny. With that being the case, ladies we need to get ready!

The 7 Ps of Christian Marriage Preparation

1. Pray for your husband:

2. Prepare:

3.Practice:

4.Praise:

5.Pray for discernment:

6.Perceive:

7. Pause:

I found myself in some steps for a few weeks, while other steps may have taken me a week.

There's no set amount of time that you should spend in each step. Ask God to assist with each step so that you'll know when to proceed to the next step.

You can PM me for the link.