Called Christians Journal
Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:38 pmIt has been a few years since I have completed this study. I decided to return to it because I have been having a lot of trouble with anxiety recently. One of the hardest things about anxiety for me is trying to convince myself that my negative thoughts won't automatically come true. I tried to fix this by just replacing every negative thought with a positive one, but that just reinforces my belief that my thoughts somehow determine my reality. I think my biggest issue is health anxiety. I always worry about suddenly having a heart attack or finding out I have a brain tumor. Honestly, I worry about any illness that can just sort of pop out of nowhere and is life-threatening, even if they have a few warning signs.
One thing that has helped (but is very hard to do) is to acknowledge my thoughts and let them pass without fighting them. Reassurance has become a compulsion for me-- everytime I have a bad thought, I try to reassure myself to the point that it is counterproductive. If we reassure ourselves everytime we feel anxious, it makes our anxiety worse over time (at least for me). Sometimes I'm able to let my thoughts go; usually I feel awful for a little while, until my body realizes it is not in danger and can handle the negative feelings. Other times the fear is too much.
I think that strengthening my faith in God will finally help me to confront my fears more consistently. It helps to remember that everyone stumbles, but as long as I do something to strengthen my faith--even if the only thing I do that day is another step in the program or reading one chapter in the bible--I am doing much better than if I did nothing at all. I don't know how long these extreme feelings will last, but I believe God will get me out of it.
Also my tinnitus is acting up a bit today, but I think that is just because I am focusing on it too much. I think writing in a journal makes me feel a little better.
One thing that has helped (but is very hard to do) is to acknowledge my thoughts and let them pass without fighting them. Reassurance has become a compulsion for me-- everytime I have a bad thought, I try to reassure myself to the point that it is counterproductive. If we reassure ourselves everytime we feel anxious, it makes our anxiety worse over time (at least for me). Sometimes I'm able to let my thoughts go; usually I feel awful for a little while, until my body realizes it is not in danger and can handle the negative feelings. Other times the fear is too much.
I think that strengthening my faith in God will finally help me to confront my fears more consistently. It helps to remember that everyone stumbles, but as long as I do something to strengthen my faith--even if the only thing I do that day is another step in the program or reading one chapter in the bible--I am doing much better than if I did nothing at all. I don't know how long these extreme feelings will last, but I believe God will get me out of it.
Also my tinnitus is acting up a bit today, but I think that is just because I am focusing on it too much. I think writing in a journal makes me feel a little better.
